With so many posts about unco-operative BMs, useless MOHs and all the other wedding party nightmares I've decided to post this. It's a definition of the 'roles and duties' of your party, what they are traditionally 'expected' to do. I'm hoping this will help a few of you. Bear with because it's long :D xxx
Bridesmaids The bridesmaids are members of the bride's wedding party in a wedding. A bridesmaid is typically a young woman, and often a close friend or sister. She attends to the bride on the day of a wedding or marriage ceremony. Traditionally, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age.
The principal bridesmaid, if one is so designated, may be called the chief bridesmaid or maid of honor if she is unmarried, or the matron of honor if she is married. A junior bridesmaid is a girl who is clearly too young to be marriageable, but who is included as an honorary bridesmaid.
Often there is more than one bridesmaid: in modern times the bride chooses how many to ask. Historically, no person of status went out unattended, and the size of the retinue was closely calculated to be appropriate to the family's social status. Then, as now, a large group of bridesmaids provided an opportunity for showing off the family's social status and wealth.
The required duties of bridesmaids are very limited.[13] They are required to attend the wedding ceremony and to assist the bride on the day of the wedding. Bridesmaids in Europe and North America are often asked to assist the bride with planning the wedding and a wedding reception. In modern times, a bridesmaid is also typically asked to play a role in planning wedding-related events, such as a bridal shower or bachelorette party, if there are any. These, however, are optional activities; according to etiquette expert Judith Martin, "Contrary to rumor, bridesmaids are not obliged to entertain in honor of the bride, nor to wear dresses they cannot afford."[14] If it is customary in the bride's area to have a bridesmaids luncheon, then it is hosted, and therefore organized and paid for, by the bride.[15] A junior bridesmaid has no responsibilities beyond attending the wedding.
Since modern bridesmaids, unlike their historical counterparts, can no longer rely on having their clothes and travel expenses paid for by the bride's family, and are sometimes even assessed fees to pay for parties that the bride wants to have before the wedding, it has become customary for the bride to present the bridesmaids with gifts as a sign of gratitude for the support and financial commitment that comes with their roles. It has become equally customary for wary women who are invited to serve as bridesmaids to first ask after the amount of time, energy, and money that the bride expects from them before accepting this position.
Maid of Honour In the United Kingdom, the term "maid of honour" originally referred to the female attendant of a queen. The term bridesmaid is normally used for all bridal attendants in the UK. However, when the attendant is married, or is a mature woman, the term matron of honour is often used. The influence of American English has led to the chief bridesmaid sometimes being called the maid of honor.
In North America, a wedding party might include several bridesmaids, but the maid of honor is the title and position held by the bride's chief attendant, typically her closest friend or sister. In modern day weddings some brides opt to choose a long-time male friend or brother as their head attendant, using the title Best Man or man of honor.
The activities of the principal bridesmaid may be as many or as varied as she allows the bride to impose upon her. Her only required duty is to participate in the wedding ceremony. Typically, however, she is asked for help with the logistics of the wedding as an event, such as addressing invitations, and for her help as a friend, such as attending the bride as she shops for her wedding dress. Many brides expect a chief bridesmaid to arrange and pay for a bridal shower as well as the bachelorette party (US) or hen night (Australia and UK), although it is a social faux pas on the bride's part, since these parties are gifts rather than a right.
On the day of the wedding, her principal duty is to provide practical and emotional support. She might assist the bride with dressing and, if needed, help the bride manage her veil, a bouquet of flowers, a prayer book, or the train of her wedding dress during the day. In a double-ring wedding, the chief bridesmaid is often entrusted with the groom's wedding ring until it is needed during the ceremony. Many brides ask bridesmaids, if they are adults, to be legal witnesses who sign the marriage license after the ceremony. If there is a reception after the wedding, the maid of honor may be asked to offer a toast to the newlyweds.
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorKerrylou
Groomsmen A groomsman or usher is one of the male attendants to the bridegroom in a wedding ceremony. The term groomsman is more common in the United States, and usher is more common in the UK. Usually the bridegroom selects his closest friends and/or relatives to serve as a groomsman, and it is considered an honor to be selected. From his groomsmen, the groom usually chooses one to serve as best man. The duties of the groomsmen are to help guests find their places before the ceremony and to participate in the wedding ceremony.
Additionally, the groom may request other kinds of assistance, such as planning celebratory events such as a bachelor party, also called Stag Night or Buck's Night; helping make the wedding pleasant for guests by talking with people who are alone or dancing with unaccompanied guests or bridesmaids, if there is dancing at a wedding reception; or providing practical assistance with gifts, luggage, or unexpected complications. Groomsmen may also participate in local or regional traditions, such as decorating the newlywed couple's car.
For a wedding with many guests, the groom may also ask other male friends and relatives to act as ushers without otherwise participating in the wedding ceremony; their sole task is ushering guests to their seats before the ceremony. Ushers may also be hired for very large weddings.
In a military officer's wedding, the role of groomsmen is replaced by swordsmen of the sword honor guard. They are usually picked as close personal friends of the groom who have served with him. Their role includes forming the traditional saber arch for the married couple and guests to walk through.
Bridegroom-men and bridesmaids had formerly important duties. The men were called bride-knights, and represented a survival of the primitive days of marriage by capture, when a man called his friends in to assist to kidnap the bride.
Best Man Best man is the chief male assistant to the bridegroom at a wedding. In North America and Europe, the groom extends this honor to someone who is close to him, generally either a brother or his closest male friend. When the groom wishes to give this honor to a woman, she may be termed the best woman or best person, or may still be referred to as the 'best man'. The bride's equivalent of the best man is the maid or matron of honour. A gender-neutral term is honor attendant.
While the best man's required duties are only those of a friend, in the context of a western white wedding, the best man will typically:
assist the groom on the wedding day, keep the wedding rings safe until needed during the ceremony, act as a legal witness to the marriage, and make a toast to the bride and groom at the reception. (Formerly, the best man would read out the telegrams of those who couldn't attend). This is known as the Best Man Speech or toast. In the past, the bachelor party was typically scheduled for a convenient evening during the week before the wedding. A type of farewell dinner, it was always hosted, and therefore organized and paid for, by the bridegroom.[15] Common slang names for this event are bachelor party, stag do or bucks' night in different parts of the world. In many areas, this dinner is now most commonly organized by the best man, and the costs are shared by all of the participants.[16]
The best man, or honor attendants in general, are not universal customs.[17] Even in places where a best man is customary, the role may be quite different when compared to other areas or times.
In most modern, English-speaking countries, the best man is usually the groom's closest male friend. Some authors believe that the best man derives from ancient customs of marriage by kidnapping, or from defending the bride from would-be kidnappers.[18][19]
In Eastern Orthodox weddings in Greece, the best man is often also the koumbaros or religious sponsor, and is traditionally the groom's godfather.[17] The koumbaros (or koumbara, if a woman) is an honored participant who crowns the couple and participates in circling the altar three times. In some areas, this person also pays for all the wedding expenses.
In Ukraine a best man is responsible for guarding the bride during the wedding festivities. When he or the groom steps away, the bride gets "kidnapped" or has a shoe stolen. Then the groom or the best man must pay a ransom in exchange for returning the bride, usually by paying money (which is given to the bride) or by doing something embarrassing.[20]
In Uganda a best man is expected to guide the newlyweds in the ways of marriage. This means that ideally a best man must be married, preferably to one wife and should be in position to give sound, tried and tested advice. A best man must be a confidant and be discreet about the details he shares with the new couple.[citation needed]
In Bhutan the best man presents himself at the wedding as a ceremonial guardian to both bride and groom. Thereafter he entertains the guests, sometimes for several hours.
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorKerrylou
Flower Girls A flower girl is a participant in a wedding procession. Like ring bearers and page boys, flower girls are usually members of the bride's or groom's extended family, but may also be friends.[21]
Typically, the flower girl walks in front of the bride during an entrance processional. She may spread flower petals on the floor before the bride or carry a bouquet of flowers or thornless roses. Once the processional is over, a young flower girl will sit down with her parents. If the ceremony will not be particularly long, an older child may prefer to quietly stand at the altar with the other honor attendants.
Because very young children are overwhelmed by the duties, and older girls may feel insulted by a "baby" role, the recommended age is between four and eight years of age,[22] or even older, if not offensive to the girl's feelings.
There may be more than one flower girl, particularly if the bride has several young relatives to honor. This practice is more common at British royal weddings, at elaborate weddings modeled after royal weddings, or at Victorian-themed weddings.
Historically, the clothing was provided by the families of the bride and groom, but most modern couples expect the parents of the flower girl to pay for her clothing and other expenses related to her participation.[21]
Her male equivalent is the ringbearer or page boy. Often the ringbearer and the flower girl are made to look like a couple, and they may be dressed in miniature versions of the bride's and groom's clothes.
Page Boys/Ring bearer/Coin bearer A page boy is a young male attendant at a wedding or cotillion. This type of wedding attendant is less common than it used to be, but is still a way of including young relatives or the children of relatives and friends in a wedding. A page is often seen at British royal weddings. There may be many pages for effect at cotillions.
Traditionally, page boys carry the bride's train, especially if she is wearing a dress with a long train. Because of the difficulty of managing the train, page boys are generally no younger than age seven, with older boys being preferred for more complicated duties.[23]
A ringbearer holding a wedding ring on a cushion.In a formal wedding, the ring bearer is a special page who carries the wedding rings for the bridal party. This is almost always symbolic, with the ring bearer carrying a large white satin pillow on which imitation rings are sewn, while the real wedding bands are kept in the safekeeping of the best man. If the real rings are used, they are tacked on with thread to prevent their accidental loss.
The ringbearer as a separate role is a relatively modern innovation. In today's common wedding ceremony, the best man carries the rings.
Ring bearers are often nephews or young brothers (although they can also be nieces or sisters) and are generally in the same age range as flower girls, which is to say that they are no younger than about 5 nor older than 10. If the couple have had children prior to marriage, their own child(ren) may serve as ring bearer.
The coinbearer is similar to that of the ringbearer. The coin bearer is a young boy who marches on the wedding aisle to bring the wedding coins. The wedding coins are more commonly known as wedding arrhae. The coins are presented to the celebrant for a blessing. The coins usually consist of thirteen gold and silver coins, to represent Jesus and his apostles. Historially, Spanish colonizers started this custom
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
I like the Ukraine best man tradition.
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
Wow that was great reading, thanks so mcuh for taking the time to post all this. xx
CommentAuthorKerrylou
hehehe The Ukraine one is cool isn't it, might have to adopt that with Ross & Dean :P
You're welcome NRH115 xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
