is anybody else alone in the wedding planning? i feel like i may aswell be marrying myself! my hubby to be doesnt seem interested at all. he doesnt care about the planning. ive only asked him to do 2 things and ive had to do it myself. i cant do everything myself. he wont even practise the dance with me so how are we supposed to do the proper first dance that i want when he wont even practise with me so he wont know what hes doing? i hope this changes as i need to help me plan things! i need to know what gifts to buy his family. its supposed to be our day, it should be what he wants too but how can it be what he wants when hes not doing anything? is this what all men are like with wedding planning?

Oh dear. You 2 need to chat.

Mine wasn't too bad. To be honest I did organise and plan the majority of the day but there were a few things he had a lot of input on and made some decisions. He decided what our table centers would be, the car (him and my dad vetoed my choice), the cake design (mainly his choice on trim and shape), joint effort on reception venue and food choices and the outfits for him and the groomsmen and dad's. He also helped shortlist and meet all the photographers and select the one plus drove me around to meet DJs and helped decide on that. He's also the one who wanted to go to a wedding fayre. He also chose gifts for his groomsmen and his dad. You get the picture. He did not actual planning or organising though, but to be fair to him he handled the majority of our house buying and move as and then renovation - we were planning and organising both at the same time and moved 5 weeks before the wedding.

Yes it's nice to have some input and interest but at the same time it made life easier being able to do what I wanted.

Just sit him down and tell him you need some help with things and ask him what he can seriously help with and commit to.

My OH picked the date, he's chosen our cake design, we both chose the church, reception and car but I've done everything else so far x

As the others have said have a chat to him. OH leaves me to come up with ideas but he always wants to know what I have come up with and when I buy things he takes a big interest. I run everything past him too and I know he really likes that because he is just as excited as I am about the wedding. I hope you can talk to him and he starts taking an interest xx

Sometimes it is easier to just get on and do it yourself. I found it easier, hubby would leave everything until the last week, whereas I like to be organised.

I'm really lucky in that my OH shows an interest in everything and wants to be involved the whole way - the way he sees it is that it's his special day too, not just mine! I do most of the researching and organising but I am in a job that allows me to search the web whenever I get bored whereas he doesn't get the opportunity to do that, so I come up with more ideas etc. than him, but I run everything past him and we then decide on it together.

I appreciate weddings are often seen as a woman's thing but it is your OH's big day too and I think he should be showing an interest in it. Have a chat with him and let him know how it's making you feel - he might not realise you want him to be so involved as a lot of brides like to do all the planning themselves (or that's probably a thought some guys have anyway as they think we're all bridezillas!) xx

I've got a while yet but I looked at some invites online and I said they were quite nice and got told off for going on and on about it!!! You can't win sometimes!

Like I said I have ages, but I think you need to have a word as you guys haven't got that much time to go. If we were at 9 months, I would've told my oh off and tell him to get his a**e into gear! ;) x

My now husband was super involved in everything except my dress. hair, shoes etc. All the suppliers were quite surprised about how involved he was, but it really helped on the day as I could concentrate on getting ready while he made sure everything was as excepted at the venue, and then I didn't have to look at the time or nag anyone at all throughout the day as he knew what had been chosen and what the plan was. Early choices the boys don't need to be too involved if they don't want to be, but it really helps nearer the time. As others have said, have a chat with him and see how he can be more involved, maybe ask him if there is anything specific he wants to be in charge of?

I'm just fed up! It's quite upsetting I just feel like he should want to be involved or at least pay an interest when I talk about. Whenever I tell him something I've done or ask him to do something I just get yeye whatever or huffing and puffing. He absolutely realises I want him to help with planning he knows I don't want to do it on my own I've told him enough times and tbh it's getting me down that he just doesn't seem to care about the wedding a lot of things won't get done because I don't know what to do with some things that only he can decide x

I've heard a few people saying they feel alone with wedding planning. Ours was pretty much 50/50.

I do feel lucky with mine.

Ladies if you need help just tell him. Many men see it as a day for the W2B and they just want a stag do and big party in the evening. They generally more relaxed about the details of the day. Also get help from the bridal party and family, mine were a huge help, I couldn't have done it without my sister and best mate. My dad helped stuff envelopes for sending out invitations.

This was me 6 months ago. I was kind of offended at first that he seemed like he didn't care, but it turns out he just wants me to have what I want and he knows I freaking love to plan so he didn't want to take that away from me. No one has helped me with anything, because I don't want them to yet.

I think sometimes guys can just assume that all women are like this, and want to do the whole planning thing and go nuts on the wedding by themselves. Just tell him how you feel, and how important it is to you that he be involved and see what he says. xx

mine wasnt that interested til about 5 or so months to go, i ran everything by him and we agreed on the bigger stuff, but then suddenly, a few months to go and hes all like 'i dont like those table names' i just told him straight. I asked you if you liked these before i bought them and you were fine, you cant go muscling in now you are finally interested and start taking over lol. he had a bit of a grumble, but he knew he didnt have a leg to stand on as i checked and double checked eeeeverything with him lmao

also. re. your partners family. i just wouldnt worry about it. id just tell him to sort it, you obviously have enough on your plate

if it were me and his lack of involvement was really doing my head in i would just get him telt

Just told my H2B that it is tradition the groom gets something for the bride, I have got him a pocket watch to give him on the day and know he will feel like cr@p if he doesn't get me something and I have gotten him something! haha x

I am very lucky because my OH loves weddings and always dreamed about getting married so he is very enthusiastic about the whole thing.

That being said, when it comes to all the little tiny ideas I keep getting about this thing or that thing, he can quickly become bored if I try to run them *all* past him. He's very interested about the potential colour and general style of the BM dresses, for example, but he really loses interest if it gets down to 'this pattern or this pattern with this trim or this trim?'

I'd say he's more of a general planner at this point, especially as we have a long way to go and yet to finalise the venue etc. He helps out lots with the logistical nitty-gritty like guest lists and the church and the budget, but the tiny details here and there he's less hands-on about. I do still run by my ideas with him when I've narrowed it down to one or two options, he likes to help me compare them and make a joint decision.

I have a feeling he'll just get even more into it and excited the nearer the time comes.

I thought I'd feel alone planning but oh quite good reLly, he does leave me to get on with things but if I ask or mention things then he usually gives me his opinion and helps. He choose the date as I was stressing about it and some times I have to say I want your opinion as its your day too! And I have allowed him to select his own attire ( with me there of course! Haha) as my oh been married before and wasn't aloud any voice in it I have made sure he has a lot of say and most things he isn't bothered about but I like him to be included. Maybe talk to your oh and explain how important it is for you that he is included in the planning of both your wedding. As I think men think it's a girls thing and forget it's as much their day as yours :) xx

My other half has been quite involved which has been good and meant we have chosen majority of things together. He said to pick whatever colour scheme I wanted. we have kept both of our outfits a secret. I know traditionally he doesn't see the bride but I wont see his suit until big day which I am looking forward to. He has also chosen cars. I have enjoyed choosing everything together. Only thing he wasn't fussed on was wedding favours so I am doing them myself.

Naomi