An aquaintence of mine got married there about 2 years ago, and the photos looked amazing! I'm sure it will be a beautiful day! Yer, it has loads of accommodation so Defo ticked your boxes, whereas Upwaltham only had the Bridal Suite. We're planning a trip to France in January, and although it will look completely different, we'll get more of an idea of where we could actually get Married. Xx

Your ring is STUNNING! Are you also the lady who paid £5k for your wedding dress?

I've just read this and gone away before replying as this made me so angry! I read in an earlier post of yours that u spent 5k on your dress, went to try on dresses without taking any money with you and rung oh to pay for it? Although U did say yiu were getting a part time job to pay for it- and now I read this post- and yes you do come across a complete and utter brat who just seems to want the most expensive of everything-

It just sounds so materialistic and that if it isn't how you want it and perfect then nothing else wil do!

I know I am being harsh and I apologise as I don't want to upset you but honestly you have to get over the proposal and come back to reality. Oh didn't want to get married probably because has been hurt in the past! He's agreed to marry you had has bought you an amazing ring and dress and all as you do is moan that it's not how you wanted it!

Please take a read back what you have written!

Be thankful that he tried really hard and obviously loves you very much to agree to marry you- if you can't get over the way he proposed and the ring then I'm not sure I can see a happy marriage.

Firstly your ring is lovely, but I understand that it must be hard for you wearing it everyday if you really don't like it.

The other thing that I have to say is that it doesn't matter one bit how, where or when your OH proposed. He proposed to make you happy even though it goes against his wishes which proves that he is putting your happiness before his own. I wouldn't swap that for any amount of romantic proposals and perfect rings. Try to look to the future and be glad that he wants to build one with you.

Hope that you find some way to put this to rest and move on.

Your ring is lovely Joanne x

Good point Kirsty. The dress is 5k!

I can certainly relate on some level to this as I feel I was 'cheated' with my proposal as me and my wife were in bed one morning chatting and we just went 'shall we go and look at rings?' And we did, so there was no proposal! I do regret it and hate that I didn't get that moment which is something I will always miss but at the same time, my want of a proposal has probably been fuelled by my love of romantic films, media, TV etc. so you aren't helping yourself by watching proposals on YouTube!

At the same time, I read this last night and waited until now to comment because quite frankly, if I had commented, I would have vented and been extremely rude given how bratty and despicable you are behaving.. Your bloke spent 2.5K on a ring that he clearly spent a lot of time choosing no matter what you think because no bloke spends that amount without a lot of thought and I think you saying you don't think he did is just plain rude. Personally I think you need to move on and to an extent 'get over yourself' because if you don't, you will get more bitter and twisted about the whole thing forever and ruin a relationship. There are WAY more important things in life so just be lucky he proposed! With regards to the ring, just wear it and quit complaining. Sorry if that offends you but you have a lot in your life that some people can only dream of and you are whinging about it so no wonder your fiancé was upset you wanted to change you ring. I can't actually believe you had the audacity to ask him if you could change as it didn't live up to your standards either!

Nikki... 2 years is a really long time to hold on to feelings like this and it sounds like it's borderline requiring a few sessions with a professional because it sounds almost like a grudge.

I had ideas about how my proposal would eventually go, what my wedding would look like, how wonderful it would all be.... as it turns out, he did it on our anniversary. I spent the entire day at home making this romantic fort (picture pinks, reds, plush pillows, electric candles, chocolate roses and stuff) and sorting out a little picnic buffet and a movie in our lounge. I put ALL of the effort into this, and was just in my pyjamas and he got into his and we just sat watching movies, eating popcorn etc in our fort.

Unbeknownst to me he had snuck his grandmother's ring (his grandmother's. It is old, vintage, smaller than i would have picked for myself... etc. etc) into the fort. It took him 15 minutes to propose to me. There were long periods of awkward silence. He never once actually said "Will you marry me? Will you be my wife?" nothing like that. He said "What's your ring size?" 2 minutes later "I asked your dad" and I'm thinking, well dad wouldn't know?? And then eventually he said "Would you wear nan's ring?" and I was like "Are you asking me to marry you??" and he said he didn't know. I essentially asked myself, and he handed me a ring. Not terribly romantic, and I didn't get to have any say in the ring either. But you know what? That proposal was so *him*. His way. And I LOVE him. We're getting married, and I cannot wait to be his wife.

So... my advice to you would be to stop thinking about the ring as... well, the way you're thinking of it. I would not have picked this ring. I wanted white gold, and I wanted a larger diamond. But you know what? THIS is my ring. And I love it, because it's mine. And it's special, because he gave it to me as a promise that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. THAT is how you need to look at your ring.

Same with your proposal. The proposal was HIM proposing to you. HIS way. Not yours. We don't really get a say in the ring, in the proposal, the place, anything. We can hint, we can guide, we can even walk him right up to the jewellery store window, point out the ring and show him a video of how we want it done, but at the end of the day, is that not false? He picked a ring, for you. A symbol of his commitment to you. A commitment which he did not really see the point in, but has gone out and sought a ring for you because getting married was important to you. You say you know your partner is not romantic. You need to move from knowing that, to accepting that.

You do sound bratty. But you know that, and you keep repeating that it's the case. You need to spend some time looking at your ring and thinking happy thoughts about it, about your partner, and about what that ring MEANS, not the way that it looks. Stop yourself from doubting that your partner looked for a ring that you liked. Look at that ring and imagine him scouring high and low, thinking of you, wanting to get it right. And alright, he missed the mark, but think about him trying. Convince yourself. Because i believe that he did. £2,500 is not a purchase that most people make lightly. And I'm not saying that it's about the money, and I think what other people have meant when they mention it is that, he will have thought about it. He's not going to have just walked into a shop, gone "Yeah, that'll do thanks" and got his card out. Think POSITIVELY about it. And I'm not kidding, you need to do this daily.

You need to do the same thing about the proposal. Pick something positive about it, even if it is ONLY the fact that he proposed. He did it. That takes courage. Turn the memory into a positive. The day was frantic, okay, fine. You were busy, okay, fine. He didn't pick the best time or day, okay, fine. STOP thinking about those elements. Accept them, and pull out 1 positive. When you've locked onto it, find another. That's how to get over it. CHANGE your perception of it. But it's going to take effort from you.

Sorry for the long post... and I hope it helps. xx

Wow. Quite a few new posts on here.
To the people that have read my other posts about my dress, and French wedding, you'll notice that I asked people's opinions on how much THEY would happily pay to go to a friend's destination wedding. I've never once said that I plan on booking my dream place and if it's too expensive then stuff them, because, quite frankly, my Friends mean a great deal to me, hence why I asked people's thoughts on how much was too much, as I am fully aware that my partner makes a bit more money than a lot of my friends-not being obnoxious, it's a fact, which is why I didn't want to make anyone feel pressured, and at the end of my post I even said that I would try my best to find something within everyone's budget.
Regarding the dress, I have also said that I would take on this financial burden myself, and get a part time job to pay for it, so it wouodn't have to come out of the main budget.
I am a very picky person. I know what I want, and I have always tried my best to get it.
I met my OH when we were 18 & 19, and he earned about 1/5 of what he does nowadays. I'm not with him for the money, I'm with him because I love him a ridiculous amount.
I was upset about the Proposal and the Ring, because for me Marriage has always been a massive deal, and I LOVE weddings -my dream is to own a wedding venue- and I love lots of personal touches, and I want our day to reflect us as a couple. I'm not just sitting here spending all of his money, I also raise our little girl.
I mentioned before that I KNOW how lucky I am, and he does go above and beyond to give me a very comfortable and happy life.

Now I've got that little bit out of the way, thank you for some of you coming back to clear up that you weren't intending to be rude, although some of the comments were a little bit personal considering that I told you a snippet of our life together, but I don't upset easily, so it's fine! Haha!
@Michelle, I don't really have ONE dream proposal in mind, I just knew that I wanted some effort put into it. Like if we were away from home, like on a weekend break or a holiday, and I do like evening proposals with candles and flowers. I wanted it to be very private, not in a restaurant or anything in front of people, as I don't like people staring at me! Or somewhere that had meaning, like where we had been for our first trip or something, or whatever. And I really wanted him to tell my mum beforehand, as I'm very close with my mum (but he only told his parents).
We were actually planning on going on holiday a few months later for our first family holiday together, but we couldn't book it in the end because we had to start saving for the wedding, so I thought maybe he could have waited and done it then or something. I don't really know, I just know what I didn't want!

I don't sit here and think about how terrible it is all of the time BTW, it's mainly when I get asked about it, or I'm looking at wedding bands, or I have an off day when I'm flicking through wedding magazines or blogs and look at my ring for too long!

Whoa. What a spoilt and materialistic brat you sound. Just realised you're the same lady who paid 5k for a dress too.

If only you could hear yourself. Even in the above post you're going on about the fact that you're OH earns more. All you seem to post about is the money and how much things cost. I wasn't aware this was a forum for boasting how much something costs.

You're poor OH. He must love you for having put up with this. I've just shown my partner and he said most guys would have upped and left by now. I get the impression nothing is good enough for you. You live in a beautiful part if the country yet even brag to another person you wouldn't hold your venue in your own county as couldn't find anything within your budget. My OH is from your neck if the woods and there are some stunning venues.

As for getting a part time job, welcome to the real world. Most of us are scraping pennies together to pay for our dream days and no doubt you're posts have annoyed other brides as they have me.

Yes I do mean this to sound harsh as you need a wake up call.

And why it stars out bu*ger I don't know, but just so people know i didn't write anything rude!

wow some of the comment son here are really quite harsh.

My proposal wasnt the best but it was too good an opportunity for him to pass up on, I love my engagement ring because he picked it for me (wasnt exactly what I would have picked for myself but Ive grown to love it).

The only advice I would give you is think about you h2bs feelings here to him he has put in a great amount of time and effort to get you in his opinion the perfect ring and that should be enough for you he asked you to marry him, I wouldnt have liked a christmas day proposal but had my hubby proposed to me then I would have been happy enough knowing that I was engaged to the love of my life. I waited a long time for him to propose as he never wanted to get married and for what ever reason just before our 8 year anniversary he changed his mind, he didnt propose to me because its what I wanted he done it because he wanted to. The tone of your first post was a bit like he only proposed to me because its what I wanted but the truth is you couldn't force him to propose to you he done it because he wanted to.

try to get over the proposal and be happy with the fact your marrying the man of your dreams you have a perfect little family and life together he chose the ring for you, wear it with pride

I just think you need to accept that the proposal was not what you expected and continue with your wedding planning, if you can have a dress of that amount then do it. You're getting a job to pay for it, you've got a discount on it, why not? Mine was nowhere near the price of yours but still a lot but o thought nope it's the one, you make sacrifices for it.

You don't like your ring, don't wear it, get a lovely wedding band and keep the ring, not Everyone wears an engagement ring,

I think the majority of us may have like a different proposal, but hey, at the end of the day we got it. It wasn't how you wanted it, so now it's time to make the wedding how you want it.

Oh, and saying that the venues weren't within budget locally were also true, when it came to finding ones with an inside that matched up to their outside, and still came within budget, we couldn't find any that we could logistically imagine having our Wedding at, and that wasn't just me, that was OH too! X

Nikki - do not rise to other people. Be the bigger person; the mods have warned those who have gone too far to allow everyone to move on from this. I agree that Cathy's feelings are a little too strong considering you haven't affected anyone else - I think people are just concerned that maybe your oh is not feeling overly great about the whole wedding idea that he has changed his views on because of his love for you. As long as everything is what you and you oh wants then I can't see any issues. People always judge even if they try not to but in your case you need to disregard any comments that have gone too far and like you say in your earlier post - learn from the constructive comments given to you

Haha... Maybe try making a mood board with all the positives of your proposal for when you're feeling down about it? You're creative enough to make something fantastic that you can maybe even display in the house as a tribute to the proposal; that will help you show your oh that you're starting to move on from the dissappointment too so will probably really cheer him up :)

The rings a nice idea .. Did you say they couldn't just remove the diamonds from the ring and recluster them?

That's true nikki never thought of giving it to your daughter down the line.

Maybe not a great idea to do the mood board then haha!

Hi nikki, I wrote a post on your dress post saying that I thought comments were harsh- I do truly apologise if you found any of my comments harsh, as I said earlier I woukd hate to think I had upset anyone.

It's great that you've had time to digest comments and realise that we were onky tryingbto make positives out of you proposal and I'm glad that you can move on- as for your dress, I said on that post that to me 5k is a lot but it is stunning and nothing like I have ever seen:)

With the wedding, it's your day and you know your budget so please continue sharing moments of your planning and ignore everyone else xxx

Nikki just ignore Cathy, you are not being a spoilt little brat because you are trying to plan your perfect day to the love of your life. It's doesn't matter to anyone else how much you spend for your wedding because it's yours and your partner business or maybe your families as well if they are helping pay for the wedding but besides that it's no one else business. You spend your money on what you want and how ever you want to. It's your and your partner's prefect day not anyone else. Again, I do apologise if I seemed harsh in my last post. Btw, your dress is gorgeous and the other photos are really good

Also, @Myranny, sorry to hear about your redundancy but Congratulations on your baby news, I'm sure things will find a way of working themselves out and at least you'll have your new baby in all of the Wedding pictures! Xx

Please please please can people stop beating nikki up over this now. She has said herself that she knows she sounds bratty and that she simply wanted advice on how to get over it and he has already taken the advice on board and is more positive about everything.

Mods not sure if you can close the thread to stop more abuse heading Nikki's way .. She's had a lot over this and I'm finding it unfair now,

Sorry you have had such a hard time Katya but harsh words towards nikki won't make you feel any better

I think everyone has pretty much been saying the same thing, some people have just tried to sugarcoat it and others haven't - but that's down to individual personalities. Nikki seems to have taken all comments well even if some have been more harsh than others! xx

She's had enough though now, not sure if it's in this thread of her dress thread that she's gotten really disheartened and starting to feel like everyone has judged her etc

Agree girls, we all have our opinions some are more nicely worded than others and Nikki has taken them well good or bad, I think everyone needs to cool down and stop with the nastiness, Nikki has explained herself, lets just hope she can take away something from this thread and hopefully move on from her negative feelings about the ring and now make the most of planning her wedding after all she asked for advice not a fight xx

This thread has been closed due to the number of strong comments being made by some other members.