Ok so a wedding i am going to they are asking for money rather than gifts which is fine as i will do the same i a nice way too but how much is a reasonable request as they are asking for £50, i dont have that and what if i do and they gove me a tenner at mine
CommentAuthorMel D
I think it's fine to ask for money instead of a wedding present ... but it's way out of order to tell you how much! Give them what you can afford, they have no right to tell you how much to give them xx
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorloubyscooby
Although I think its ok to ask for money/vouchers etc I think its wrong to put an amount down. You should give what you can afford and what is relevant to the friendship you have. Cheeky bride me thinks.
CommentAuthorFaeth
Give whatever you feel you can afford. Asking for money is a very common thing at weddings now (I know some people still don't agree with it - but there you go), but to my mind, asking for or expecting a certain amount is just rude and shouldn't be done! They should be grateful for however much they get, no matter how small or large an amount. Don't feel pressured into giving more than you can.
"Of course I'm not wedding obsessed!!"
CommentAuthorFruity_pops
i think it a bit rude to request an amount as some people are not able to afford that ... i wudnt be able to has most of the money we have spare going on our own wedding. i think it sud be up to the different people what they give as some might what to give less or some more. we have told people we would like money towards an honeymoon but we leaving it to them how much and if thats what they want to do. we are thankful for anything we get as thats not what its about.
i will just give what u can and if they dont like it then they not very grateful for it.
xXx Cant wait till am Mrs Lever xXx
26th August 2011 at 3pm
Thanks for replies. She didnt put that in invite but i remember saying ages ago, we may ask for money towards honeymoon at our wedding and i said for joke, god knows how much people will give if anything but i will be grateful, she said "we are hoping people will give us £50 " ok so with 100 guests thats prob 2,500 if you assume people pay in couples. WOW. It annoys me as my H2B and me are paying for pretty much whole wedding ourselves bar 2k generously given by family. Her wedding is 12k all paid for by parents and honeymoon is 5k, ok so you already have it all my love, i cant even afford a honeymoon yet. And her hen do cost me 260.
CommentAuthorIgnition
I would give what you can afford, don't worry that she has requested that much. If she says anything, just take her aside and say that you couldn't put that much in. xx
Can't wait to be Mrs Mansfield
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Roll On The 15th September 2012
CommentAuthorxMrsRobson2bx
I was just about to say thats really rude to put an amount - but as u say she didnt actually give u a price to pay on invite - so just give what u can afford - im going to be asking my guests for money in the invite as a poem to put towards our honeymoon - im not fussed what people give aslong as everyone is there :) xx
Less Than A Year Now.
And I'll Finally Be
Mrs Robson
xxx
CommentAuthorMrsC2B
I wouldn't worry about how much you put in. It should be what you can afford. Your friend should be pleased of your presence not your presents. xx
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
Yeah I agree give what you can afford!
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthorlollilou
I think that's rude to put an amount in. I was on another forum the other day and a bride was saying she had an evening invite and they had put a money poem in it and she was really cross about it. Now we put one in all of ours because we would love to take our kids away on honeymoon with us they've never been abroad and to me to be able to do that is more important than a toaster or set of glasses.But I would never expect our guests to give that much. xx
CommentAuthorHjessie
i dont think its rude to give money and am happy to as after all they are paying for you to eat and if a bridesmaid then paying for dress too etc but to ask for 50 quid after a 260 quid hen do two weeks before and didnt even make bridesmaid list, im kinda disheartened
CommentAuthorHjessie
and to ask for amount rather than give what you can afford as i am literally selling what i can of mine on ebay just to pay for own wedding
CommentAuthorpurpleme
i wouldnt give her anything at all just cos she has said a set amount. then i would also put in a invoice for half the cost of the hen do lol but thats just the sort of person i am I think she is very cheeky to expect £50 i would be grateful with £5 cos any penny counts and soon adds up xx
Cannt wait to be a Savage :-)
CommentAuthorshellay
i agree, give them what you can afford, i am asking for money at my wedding, and putting a post box out so people can just put their envelopes in there, so i wont even know how much anyone has given me, but like i have said to everyone, even a few pounds will be put towards the honeymoon, so doesnt matter how little it is, you cant go around asking for that much its just ridiculous, i wouldnt pay £50 for someones wedding present unless it was a very close friend or relation :) x
I have know my soulmate for 27 years and on the 6th August
I married him and became Mrs Garnham.
It was most definitely the happiest day of my life.
I love married life !!!!
CommentAuthorMel D
I'm shocked ... we asked for money twoards our honeymoon, and were grateful for whatever people could afford! Of course there was one person who ignored us completely and bought us a casserole dish (which went back to M&S and bought us some yummy food instead) but there were some people who we know are struggling and we were amazed at their generosity.
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorVicky
Just give what you can afford.. H2b and I normally give £75 for gift at wedding. But that is cos H2B thinks it important. If we couldnt afford it we would just give what we could.. I dont see the big issue.. I guess with my parent friends and family we are hoping that people will give about £50 but are just grateful they are making the effort to come to the wedding.. It all depends on the indivdual
CommentAuthorLaura
How would you word it on your invitations or whatever though that you want money? I am going to be asking for money for ours but not sure how to word it without sounding cheeky??? xxx
CommentAuthorNishaVyas88
edited
We're asking for money, but I wouldn't dream of putting a minimum amount on it- especially when it may be too much for some people. Having said that, the remark about the minimum amount may not have been directed at you. At my sister's wedding, she didn't care how much she got, but as a family we were quite irritated when my mum's brother- who is loaded- gave a gift of £5 from his family (this including his daughter who has her own family and a good job, bring the total to a a gift of £5 from a family of 10, 6 of whom are earning adults). So she may have been referring to a relative who can afford to give £50 or more but is tight or jealous and won't give anything.
Also, speaking as a bride whose parents are handling the wedding costs, just because the parents are paying doesn't mean they'll help after the wedding. We'll be on our own with living costs when we move into our flat. She's probably just hoping they'll get enough money from wedding gifts to have a cushion just in case something goes wrong after the wedding.
CommentAuthorlollilou
Hey Laura there are loads of poems you can put in with your invites. Try a search on here or on the bay of e. This is the one we used,
Your presence at our wedding is present enough but if we're honoured with a gift from you may we respectfully request a gift of money to help the dream of a honeymoon come true!xx
CommentAuthorLaura
I am receiving very little financial help towards mine, my mum is paying half toward my dress and my daughters dress (who is my 1 and only bridesmaid). My dress was only £225 and Jessica's dress will be about £50. MIL has said she will give us £500 so the rest........we have got to pay for ourselves.
Its hard going but will all be worth it! Been working 3 weekends out of 4 and doing car boot sales to try and get every penny we can! x
CommentAuthorLaura
Awww yes thats nice isnt it.......
I will try and look for something like that :-) x
CommentAuthorHjessie
i have no problem with her parents paying i just meant, need to consider some of us pay for ourselves so money is even tighter. They already live together in a house so do not need help after, both earn more money than me. Im just worried with the 300 odd i would have paid out for her wedding i can barley afford my own, but im just letting off steam as had a bad hen weekend
CommentAuthorkimmy
Asking for money is fine but not asking for an amount..how rude!!!!
CommentAuthorEnny
in my opinion u can ask for money instead of gifts but u cant really tell how much that should be up to the guest really... how cheeky...
CommentAuthor~ஜ~Tiggs Daltry~ஜ~
i think its rude and wrong of her to ask people for specific amounts!!,,we asked people for vouchers or cash but didnt put specific amounts down as we didnt want to offend people
CommentAuthorSteph-Hughes-2b
we are asking for money instead of present, however we will never ask for a certain amount, people can give us what they can afford!! only give you can
CommentAuthorKylee27
edited
Wow what did she do for her hen night?! £260?!
I think it's fine for people to ask for money or vouchers too but like the others have said V cheeky to even hint at a specific amount!xx
Can't wait to be married!
CommentAuthorMrsMcleish2B
I would pay what you can afford - I went to a wedding in Edinburgh (approx 8hr drive) so I took into account how much it had cost us to get there and stay the weekend etc and ended up giving £30 which I thought was fair enough as the weekend cost £500 approx.
You need to keep in mind the £260 you've already paid for the hen do!!! xxx
Wedding Day - 16th June 2012
CommentAuthorRjMaJade
We are asking for money instead me and my h2b have lived together for 3years and we have everything for our home but with the wedding costing so much we would like money for spending money on our honeymoon, which everybody understands but i think asking for a certain amount is quite rude, most couples would be gratefull for anything
CommentAuthorKayteeG
I thinkk it's fine to ask for money - we are as we're paying for the wedding ourselves and we are extremely poor! We're hoping to get enough together for a little honeymoon/1st family holiday. However, we will appreciate any amount people can give, and would never set an amount - that's so rude!
CommentAuthortweedwedding
Asking for a certain amount is incredibly rude! Fair enough if you live together and have everything you need, so money towards a honeymoon or something, but £50 is a lot when you have the expense of attending the wedding.
CommentAuthorjanetx71
edited
buy her a teacosy how rude she is xxx
CommentAuthorsbride
I think asking people to give £50 is extremely rude!!! I cant believe someone could be so cheeky. I asked for money and would of been happy with any amount. I vaired really from anything form £150 to £10.
