MOH and myself have been trying to plan my hen do! im not getting married til next august so we've decided on next june for the hen do as it then gives everyone plenty of time to save up for it! But every day I'm getting let down by more and more of my 'so called' friends! They are all wanting an invite to my wedding but cant even be bothered to come on my hen do! it's the same excuse off them all "i cant afford"!!! This is irritating me even more as they'd only have to save £20 a month from now til then n they could easily afford! I have 3 year old twin boys and im currently out of work due to the horrendous cost of childcare these days but im going to save up what little i've got and nearly every one of my friends work full time :-/ I know i probably sound selfish but they're not even giving it a chance e.g saying they will try to save up! its just a simple no! i know people have other plans/lives etc but this is my hen night!! im not planning on ever having another :-/ sorry its so long, just needed to get it off my chest before i tell all my 'friends' where to go
met the man of my dreams 22/09/2006,
Had our amazing twin boys 16/05/2008
Finally becoming Mrs Davies on 31/08/2012 will make me the
happiest lady alive :-)
CommentAuthorMrsC2B
Big hugs! I totally feel your pain - my hen do started off like that. It's going ahead this weekend and I've only had one person pull out due to cost. Having a hen do doesn't need to be expensive. Have a think about what YOU would like to do. Work out the rough costings and go from there. Maybe some of your friends are warning you they can't afford a big weekend away. xx
CommentAuthorKaya
I didn't have one, cos no one could afford/make the effort. Do something cheap if you want all your friends there! x
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthor
We know want to go to chester, go to the races and have a nice meal...stay over if we could afford! ive told everyone it would only be about £120 each altogether which i didnt think was that bad considering they had 10 months to save up for it :-/ I just feel so let down that i dont know why im bothering! :'-( hope you have a lovely weekend mrsC2B xx
met the man of my dreams 22/09/2006,
Had our amazing twin boys 16/05/2008
Finally becoming Mrs Davies on 31/08/2012 will make me the
happiest lady alive :-)
CommentAuthorKaya
Although it's a while to save up, some people simply don't have that money to spend, things are really tight for alot of people atm. How about just the meal and races and then just stay over with bridesmaids rather then everyone? xxx
I am having the exact same problem! the reason why we are telling them about it now is so the can have time to afford it!!! Its annoying me aswell! so can understand how you feel hun. the people are the most imporrtant to you and that you would truely want there will be there try not to get your self to worked up about it bet you will have a fab time whether the is 20 or 3 people they I just keep telling myself is quality not quanity but yes a simple yes or no instead or excuses would be a lot better xxx
CommentAuthorlinzmum
It's hard to comment on this without knowing the full details etc but I guess it depends on what you are planning against other possible commitments your friends have etc. I missed my best (ever) friends hen do as she wanted to go to Blackpool for a long weekend. Although I was given about 8 months notice there was simply no way I could afford it, not to mention the fact I was breast feeding at the time so couldn't have that much time away from my little one :( Without saying too much we only have £10 per month spare so we saved most of that to actually attend the wedding as we felt that was much more important due to my daughter being a flower girl and me being the photographer (my friend now lives about 150 miles away so needed petrol and hotel money). Luckily my friend understood and said from the start that she knew it was unlikely I would make it but I was invited all the same. However she ended up having 2 hen nights, the blackpool trip as planned but also a simple dinner and dance for those know could get to/or didn't want to go to Blackpool. I managed to get to this one easily enough.
I know its your day and as you say you only get to have 1 hen do but is it that your friends are just being cautious or can they geniunely not afford to make it. I know that sounds slightly mean (and like I say I don't know the ull plans) but could you maybe not just ask your friends what part they can't afford? If your having a dinner and then going on to something else for instance maybe the mates with less free money can just go to the meal...and the ones who are able to make the whole event do so!?
I hope you are able to come to some solution that you are happy with and see you have the hen do you are hoping for at the same time.
Soon to be joined together as the Wheeler family, can't wait
Doing thing our way xxxx
CommentAuthor
i text everybody kinda saying these are the options (1 or 2 nights in chester, or none at all n just goin to chester for the races and a meal) hoping that all together we could come to a compromise but it was like automatic reply of 'no i cant afford'. i know money is really tight for every1 at the moment, even for myself as i have said i have twin boys who arent cheap! i guess i expected people to make a bit more effort, at least say they'd think about it or maybe that they couldnt come along but if i organised a few drinks near home 1 night theyd attend that! I just feel really let down :-/ I was thinking that too maryannt, it doesnt matter to me how many people go coz i know the most important people will be there, i just feel like my good friends are totally letting me down coz they said they would come when i first mentioned it but now they arent interested :-/ hope you have a good time xx
met the man of my dreams 22/09/2006,
Had our amazing twin boys 16/05/2008
Finally becoming Mrs Davies on 31/08/2012 will make me the
happiest lady alive :-)
CommentAuthorKaya
You could do the races etc and another night out nr home? That way you get 2 hen nights? :-D x
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorlinzmum
don't forget also that June is still a fair way off and there is xmas looming. You will probably find that once xmas and the new year is over people might start saying they can come after all, it still gives everyone 5-6 months to save up.
Soon to be joined together as the Wheeler family, can't wait
Doing thing our way xxxx
CommentAuthorUnknown
i hate it when people say they cant afford it when they have time to save! if i were you i would actually tell them that if they cant be bothered to save up for your hen do which they have 9 months to do then they arent invited to the wedding and see what they say about that xx
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
babe am gettin married august n havin hen do 2nd june! its been like gettin blood out of a stone! i now luckily hav 19 paid BUT the people whos hen do's i have been on last few years alot aint cumin!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
sorry but if my friend was having a hen do that cost 120 (not including spending money for the 2 days) i would probably say no too. like others have said, not everyone has that sort of money to spend. as much as it's really important to you, it's never going to be as important to anyone else (harsh but true). you could argue that it's only such and such a month, but if it was that easy to save, everyone would have savings!! something always comes up, christmas, birthdays, car tax, broken washing machine etc
you might fine they don't want to commit to anything in case they let you down and leave you out of pocket
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthor
I think i may have phrased this wrong... it seems most people are thinking im being totally selfish (which i do feel like a bit) but in the end it is just people who cant be bothered...not the fact that they cant afford it (thats just an excuse) these people work full time n go out every weekend, I am absolutely skint and have a family to pay for but im going to manage it! None of them offered me an alternative suggestion? or even said they would try their best? It was just a simple no! I just feel very let down that theyre not bothered in anyway :-/
met the man of my dreams 22/09/2006,
Had our amazing twin boys 16/05/2008
Finally becoming Mrs Davies on 31/08/2012 will make me the
happiest lady alive :-)
CommentAuthorMrsMcleish2B
I'm being completely boring and have given up with 'friends' my hen night will be a weekend in London with my Mum, Sister, Auntie and 2 Female Cousins. I might have a meal out at home but only if they can 'Afford' it. What ever you do for your hen night will be amazing and it will show you who your true friends are. They may surprise you and it all be a wind up you never no...... some people have a strange sense of humour lol! xxxx
Wedding Day - 16th June 2012
CommentAuthorvicandsimon
Im in same boat, most of my friends cant afford it but it matters to me that they are there so i have changed my plans to something cheaper so everyone can come. I wouldnt have much fun on my hen do by myself! Abit disapointed but nothing i can do about it unless i pay and thats not going to happen x
CommentAuthormelvis
im on the side of the girls who say they cant go actually. all my mates are getting married/buying houses together etc including me...And so when they all turn round and say 'right were going spain, york, london, leeds, brighton...' it gets to the point that im not putting anymoney in my wedding/ house savings and its all getting spent on these hen dos.
I reeally dont think you should be so harsh about it by saying 'so called friends...' maybe you should be a little bit more understanding im sure theyd LOVE to go but can they really afford it!!?
AND surely all that matters is that they want to be at your wedding???!!! they want to be there with you to celebrate this important day, they want to be able to have money in their pockets for this event and have a good time, be there for you and support you on this day. so why use this against them? I think its selfish to expect everyone to put their own savings and plans on hold and then when they refuse to badmouth them on this.
Cant wait to be Mrs Melissa Mooney!!!
Hes The Man Of My Dreams
Kos 2013!
CommentAuthorzowie
I'm having three hen do's I think. My main one is a weekend away to Manchester. This is quite expensive so told everyone they are welcome to attend one, two or three parties before I started planning. This one will cost £200 per person. I have opened a bank account and most of the girls have standing orders paying £20 each in per month so they don't have to think about it. I live in the North East but am from the South East so I also told them I will be having one in each area for those who can't afford the £200 option. I have 12 ladies coming on the big one but work colleagues coming on the Newcastle one and family/old friends coming to the South East one x
CommentAuthorKaz
We'll, probably, be having a joint meal with family and then he'll have a couple of drinks with his pals and us girls (as my 2 daughters are bm's) will have a girly night the night before and all have our nails done etc.
I have to be honest and say that if I was invited to a hen party where I'd have to save up and stay over, I'd have turned you down flat too. And it wouldn't be because you didn't mean much to me, it's just alot of money to pay out for a weekend when we could have had a meal and a laugh where we live, and on top of that I've still got to be able to afford to attend the wedding and find you a gorgeous gift!
WARNING:
I say the first thing I think of!
CommentAuthor
I have given quite a few suggestions to people (even a nice meal n a few drinks nearby) but no one is interested! I am not being harsh by callin them so called friends as they have let me down a number of times and This is the final straw for me! These "so called" friends couldn't even be bothered to turn up to my sons' christening as they all went out on the drink the night before, so I know exactly what they are doin! Anyway rant is over now! I know alot of people disagree with me but Thanx to those who have sent me positive messages! I will be having a hen do with my close friends and sisters and I'm sure it will be a great one :) xx
met the man of my dreams 22/09/2006,
Had our amazing twin boys 16/05/2008
Finally becoming Mrs Davies on 31/08/2012 will make me the
happiest lady alive :-)
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
all i think is u only live once, get wed once, have one hen do! make it count!!!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
