Ok I need some cheering up so thought Id start sharing some of my families famous misuses of our wonderful language and hopefully lots of you will have similar.


My mum works for a personnel in a big supermarket and one day she had to phone a depot to speak to someone ....she couldnt understand why everyone in her office and the person on the phone cracked up laughing when she asked to speak to "the errotic fruit buyer"?????!!!!??????

My much younger sister asked my mum when she was old enough to start using "Oil of Ugly"??

Ok lets hear some of yours whilst I get thinking of some more

My younger brother put something in the bin but didn'y close the lid.. so my dad stood there saying "can you close the bid lin, bid lin, bid lin, bid lin, bid lin..." for ages until he finally stopped and said "bin lid" lmao x

lmao my fave would have to be something my brother wrote when he was about 5 or 6 rather than something he said

Writing in his book for school about what he done at the weekend he wrote:

I made cack with mummy i like eaten cack. this is exactly how he wrote it i think he meant cake lol, or at least I hope he did.

This has actually reminded me of a BIL's writing error in school where he wrote he likes to eat "chilli icecream" (meant to say chilly) gave myself and h2b a good laugh about whether or not we should buy some ice cream and put chillis in it lol

When my brother was about 4/5 he had to get an op on his bowels they took him in to hospital and gave him the jag to put him to sleep when he come round the nurse said to him Alan are you ok do you no why you are hear he said yes coz i had fish at nursary and it got stuck up my ass pmsl :)

I work in a school, the other day 3 boys were being told off by their class teacher in full view of everyone coming in from play time .....
They all stood there, at the top of her voice she yelled " what have I told you 3 about SHI*TING together?" She obviously meant SITTING pmsl .... several members of staff had to run off as they couldn't stop laughing!

omg SFc nearly wet myself reading those hahahaha

some really funny ones here ....... some of the ones I can think of from my family I just cant bring myself to write.

Ill offer this one up though - when I was younger I was sitting in a friends bedroom and doing the usual girly teenage angst thing listening to sad songs. One come Paul Young - Everytime You Go Away and my mate is singing her little heart out ........ "Everything you go away ....... you take a piece of meat with you" WTF???? I nearly wet myself and she genuinely thought that was the words.

Guess its along the same lines as I once read of someone who thought Culture Club were singing "come a, come a, come a comedian" instead of "karma karma karma cameloeon"

Still laughing at sweetpeas little bro. Kids are so innocent but can say the most awful things.

sorry that word was sha* ger with a g where the * is!

When I was in the TA I once gave the order to 'Put your rifles in your SOLIDERS' instead of shoulders.

Oh another one - she tells you to make sure you close her garden gate so the birds don't get in to make a mess of the garden!!!!

The funniest thing I remember was my late Nan who had phoned a friend of hers who was obviously out and didnt answer, she told me I know shes out cos I can hear the dog barking ?????????