h2b and i are going through a very difficult period and not one which i'm sure we can work through. last wk he told me to eff off so i thought ok then i will. he thinks i'm childish and that i should wait for him when he's not busy. to cut a long story short we're not talking only arguing and he wants his ring back. i dont want to give it back cos i love it and would possibly wear it on other hand. by english law, will i be forced to give it back if he took me to court? x
CommentAuthorJoolsy
I'm not sure how it would work but it's a gift in some terms so he can't actually ask for a gift back or can he???xx
Officially Mrs Julie-Anne Muir
CommentAuthorDrunchPunk
From the Citizens Advice Bureau website -
"One of the parties can decide to end an engagement as an agreement to marry cannot be legally enforced. If an engagement is broken, a woman can keep the engagement ring unless, at the time she was given it, the man specifically said that it should be returned if the engagement were broken. Any other property belonging to the couple should be divided between them in the same way as property would be divided if the couple divorced. If the couple cannot agree about entitlement to property, either person can apply to a court to decide the issue, provided this is done within three years of the end of the engagement. Legal advice will be needed in these circumstances."
CommentAuthorden1se
well thats what i thought but apparently after looking on google it says some judges would make me give it back even if there was no agreement verbally i would have to do that. its worth 8k and i have it insured, he's got docs for it but thats cos he's got a safe and i havent. not sure what to do x
CommentAuthor~* Jen *~
I think from past experience, (best man got unengaged once) that it is tradition to give it back, due to cost and that it symbolises a promise which is now broken and things. I know it's lovely and stuff, but I personally think that if he's asking for it back, you perhaps should give it to him. That doesn't mean stop trying to fix things, please keep trying to sort it out, and maybe he'll give it back again once everything is sorted in a really romantic way. xxxx
thanks drunchpunk. we did verbally say id give it back but who doesnt cos you dont wanna look like a money grabber. but can he prove it? i dont want to go to court as i'm a single parent, we dont live together and i couldnt afford to pay court costs if i lost x
CommentAuthorlemondrops
CommentAuthorlemondrops
CommentAuthorden1se
he's had to give it back to me twice. he's always on about money, how much he's spent on me etc knowing full well i dont have a penny to my name and he has his own business. he thinks i'm being silly about what we're arguing about but its important to me but he wont listen. i think i'm answering my self here arent i and what i know i should do, ie call it off and give him the ring back and walk away but i love him but sometimes it is best to walk isnt it x
CommentAuthorDrunchPunk
Yeah, from what I've read, the law isn't clear on who owns it after a break-up. There's a chance a judge may decide in his favour, but equally they may decide in yours. It may ultimately come down to whose fault the break-up was - which sounds like a long drawn out messy case, involving a great deal of blame and finger-pointing. It depends on whether you'd risk that, plus potentially expensive legal costs, for the ring.
CommentAuthorden1se
he told me to eff off so i thought that was it yet he says he didnt end it but he was drunk x
CommentAuthorMrs Daltry
personally speaking i could never keep a ring from a man who treated me so distastefully,,,id give it back to him and tell him were to stick it!!!!,,your worth more then that
CommentAuthorden1se
i know in my heart i'm gonna have to give it back but its a stunning ring. he'll be getting his stuff dropped on the floor outside the door when he comes for his stuff and i wont put the ring in his hand but chuck it at him. then close the door very fast lol!! thanks guys i know i'm taking a risk keeping it but court isnt worth it x
CommentAuthorJoolsy
here here Tiggs - good call xx
Officially Mrs Julie-Anne Muir
CommentAuthorMrs Turps (Nicpep)
Hey hun, sorry to hear about this.
As far as the ring goes, we learnt about this in contract law at Uni.
The ring is whats known as an invitation to treat, so the contract isnt fullfilled by saying yes to the engagement, its fullfulled when you are married. if you dont get married then the ring is returned to him as the contract been fulfilled.
Ok im not sure I understood that, but buttom line. No wedding, the ring is legally his, but if you do marry and then divorce you can keep it :P
18-09-10
Now a married lady :)
Im a rebel me
CommentAuthorLittlegerald
I would say give it back...surely it would be constant reminder of him and that it ended badly? xxxx
CommentAuthorlemondrops
CommentAuthorden1se
thanks nic, damn it lol. well he can come get it, i'm not making it easy for him by driving 20 odd miles to return it. not wasting petrol and money i dont have. gotta go pick my girl up now so ill catch up on my thread later. thank you guys so much mwah x
CommentAuthorDrunchPunk
Glad you're here Nic!
I have to agree with what other girls are saying though - give it back, tell him to stick it..
CommentAuthorMrs Turps (Nicpep)
Also, would he really take you to court to get it back? lol
Its an old law, and I'm sure most judges would just logic if being asked to enforce it x Pawn it - what ring? :P
18-09-10
Now a married lady :)
Im a rebel me
CommentAuthormym72
I've been engaged twice before - and both times I've kept the ring. The first time I broke off the engagement because we weren't really going anywhere (he'd left for uni and we were 'drifting') - and the second time we finished up just staying together for our son, but he played around and I broke it off in the end.
I didn't look at the rings and think of the guys - I actually moved on, and sold the rings!!!! lol
CommentAuthorMrs Joyce
i say pawn the ring 2! i mean its so easy to loose a ring when your no longer wearing it! lol
xx
CommentAuthorclaire1984
I think you do have to give the ring back - as an engagement ring is a contract of marriage - not a present, and if he brought the ring than I spose it is his - maybe you could buy the ring off him - but do you really want to keep a ring that some body gave you for an engement - wldnt it just remind you of him all the time? x
Maisie Moo Moo
CommentAuthorVx Debz xV
It's usually a symbol of the promise made, so whoever calls it off forfeits the ring... having said that I threw the ring at him, and gave him the finger ... ,I,, ;)
CommentAuthorden1se
ha ha @ debz!! its worth 8k, i dont even have a tenner at the mo lol!!! its 1 carat, platinum f colour vvs1 so it did cost the earth. yeah mum just said dont text him or mention it and if he asks ill tell him to come for it then chuck his dvd's and the ring at him and watch him lower himself picking em up!! would i be able to stay on here just for the chat? would seem a shame i have to sling my hook just cos he may not be no longer in my life x
CommentAuthorclaire1984
yes thats similar to mine, but if my h2b broke it off I wouldnt want to keep it - cause what happens when u meet someone else - dnt you think they might find it a bit weird if ur still wearing ur old engagment ring - id sell it and buy another ring - if ur not going to give it back :-) x
Maisie Moo Moo
CommentAuthornewmrshartley
i'd give it him back, you can always have another one made to symbolise you moving on! throwing at him is an idea, but only if you are sure that this is the end and that this isnt just some drunken tiff that you can move on from :)
CommentAuthorden1se
i wasnt drunk he was and it was by text and if he's not taking my feelings into consideration over something thats important to me then i need to ask if i want to marry a man like that. i wouldnt wear the ring, id sell it and pay off my debt but doesnt look like that's gonna happen. ive taken it off and i just need to think about things for a day or two x
CommentAuthorKesha
if me and h2b split up, I'd offer to give it back but I wouldnt want to! it makes oyu wonder what they pan on doing with it...maybe give it on!!
CommentAuthorMrs Joyce
could you's not sit down and discuss your issues you's are currently having as you dont seem to sure whether this is the end or not
xx
CommentAuthorMrsd2b
Big hugs to you hun, tbh i think its really lame of a man to ask for the ring back no matter what cost it was, but yeah if he asked for it i guess its best to hand it over. My h2b was engaged before and the ring cost him alot, he didnt ask for the ring back but his mum rang her and did..she refused tho lol. xx
CommentAuthorclaire1984
did you buy him a engagement present - cause if you did - id ask for that back lol x
Maisie Moo Moo
CommentAuthorMrscarter2b
Tell him to stick it up his arse!! Personally he doesn't deserve you and would you really want something to remind you. You'll only get a bigger and better one next time ............ I DID xx
CommentAuthorden1se
lol, my friend said to stick the ring on the end of a very large cucumber and stick it up his a*se ha ha. i doubt id be lucky to get one bigger than it and worth over 8k, god that sounds shallow ha ha!! i told him i wanted to buy him a present but he never got off his backside to sort one, i said he can have a ring, a watch, even a tattoo of his choice but he was too lazy to sort what he wanted x
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
I believe you have a year to return it?
Did he propose on Christmas Day, Valentines Day or your birthday?
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthorden1se
it was valentine's day, well it was sat 13th but by time he proposed it was after midnight cos yeah v day and got ring wk after x
CommentAuthorJilly Bean
I broke off an engagement with another bloke and I kept the ring BUT I bought and paid for it so it was mine anyway. I have never worn it because of the horrible memories attached to it and never will now. Its really a waste of money sitting in my drawer. If he'd bought the ring I wouldn't have hesitated to give it back becuase quite frankly I wouldn't have wanted to keep anything that i'd got from him. But the sensible part of me knew how much of my own money was spent on it so I kept it. My advice - give it back and forget about him xx
CommentAuthorxx MrsM2b xx
Excuse me if I sound harsh, but yes that is shallow....your words "I doubt id be lucky to get one bigger than it and worth over 8k"....this is ALL about the ring by the sounds of it.....When it should be ALL about you, how about I am better than that, I deserve better than you and here's your effing ring....Oh, and Im not sorry about the bag of dog poop it's in!!!
CommentAuthorGoff
edited
D'you know what?? I'd give it him back - but i wouldnt chuck it at him.
Throwing it at him and making a scene is only gonna make you look sooooo bad. Hold your head up stay calm, and quietly hand him the ring, along with his stuff - undamaged - then turn around and walk away. That will have more impact than throwing it at him.
And from the sounds of it, this isnt a good relationship and certainly not one you should be marrying into.
UKB Mad Scientist
Ride it like ya stole it.....
I'm a flippin ORTHOTIST
CommentAuthorEriksfjord
I'm with Tiggs and Goff on this. Give it back - you are worth more than the ring! Hold your head high, stay calm and then you won't regret anything especially if things do work out!! x
CommentAuthorJane
I'd give it back and retain your dignity or otherwise he will always have a grudge to bear against you, giving it back enables you to walk away with not one single tie to him. You will owe him nothing. Your dignity is worth more than £8k. I kept an engagement ring a previous partner gave me, however it wasnt because i didnt want to give it back, I was just too scared, i didnt want any further contact with him (violent partner, arrested, etc) and didnt want to even risk being seen putting it through his door or make him angry by sending it back. That situation was best left well alone. And it wasnt an expensive ring so I didnt feel too bad!
CommentAuthorden1se
MrsM2b, i'm trying to keep it together and if i'm coming across as bad as you make out then so be it. its not an easy decision to make but some of us dont just fall apart at the click of a finger however it still hurts ok.
to be honest i prob wont chuck it at him, just hand a bag over with his stuff in and like you say walk away. we've been having problems for a little while, his ex wife, the way he handles things - not good. he's very defensive and ive realised that he's been in such a bad relationship with his ex wife and he doesnt know how to handle a relationship any other way. so unless he takes my feelings into consideration then its over. i'm just going to take a couple of days to decide if i can live with it or not. thanks for listening x
CommentAuthorKirsty
Den1fd whatever decision you make can't be an easy one...just make sure your thinking about number 1, You.....that is all that matters at the end of the day. Break ups are hard even for the toughest of us, wish you all the best chick xx
CommentAuthorden1se
thank you kirsty. i'm being brave and if i come across that i dont care, its just bravado and a front but i have to make the right decision like you say, i have a 5 yr old and have to protect her as well x
CommentAuthorKirsty
We all put fronts on one way or another its just "our" little ways of dealing with stuff. Your right you need to think about you and your wee one long term toots xx
CommentAuthorden1se
thanks hun. he's just text saying he hopes i'm well and had a good day. nearly fell off the sofa ha ha!! x
CommentAuthorMrs Turps (Nicpep)
ok, you didnt say it was worth 8k!! I wouldnt be giving that back!
18-09-10
Now a married lady :)
Im a rebel me
CommentAuthorclaire1984
lol
Maisie Moo Moo
CommentAuthorDrunchPunk
You go Nic! Screw stuffy old contract law!
CommentAuthorKirsty
That's nice of him hun...maybe after a few days to cool off all will be ok? xx
