Why does everyone apart from H2B agree with me grrrrrrrrr! Ok well I know his argument for it, I just don't agree with it :(

In an ideal world, we would have an open bar; I hate the idea of guests having to pay for drinks.

Sadly, it isn't an ideal world, and though we have a very large budget, we do not have an unlimited budget. So, we have decided to provide 2 welcome drinks of buck's fizz, plus 1/2 bottle wine, and a glass of champagne (or soft drink alternatives) for our day guests, with the bar open should they choose to purchase an alternative/extra drink, and we will then put £2k behind the bar for the evening (and this can only be spent on house wine by the glass, beer, or single spirits and mixers; we are excluding other drinks as cocktails run at up to £15 each, so if people want cocktails, they'll have to pay for them); which should provide around 4 drinks pp (we have 100 guests; drinks are an average of £5 each). Like I said, this is not ideal; but we are spending in excess of £3k on drinks, and cannot afford to spend more, so it will have to do.

You should provide what you can afford. An open bar is dangerous IMO, because you simply have no idea of how much is going to be spent, and so it's very difficult to budget for. If we were having an open bar, we would have to budget £4k to be on the safe side; so I think your H2B needs to sit down and consider if he can afford that kind of cash before deciding to go ahead.

A tab is perfectly reasonable. That way you provide some drinks for guests (I personally think it's rude not to provide any drinks), but you can control the amount, and know where you are. You can also decide what is and is not included.

i have to agree with yourself and the other ladies on here. open bars are often abused and i really wouldn't want to pay for someone to get absolutely sloshed at our wedding. i want people to have a great time, but i don't want to walk in on people passed out sick on bathroom floors or fighting (cringe!!) because of the endless flow of booze!!

our drinks for toasts and arrival are free but i definately wouldnt have an open bar it would cost a fortune and some people would take advantage of it being free that it would prob work out over £30 per head for free drink which if ur having over 100 guests ur talking £3000 which is an awful lot even if it was £10 per head thats still £1000 xxx

I suddenly feel like a very tight bride. We're having an alcohol free day do, with the oly drinks served being tea/coffee and homemade lemonade. There will be elder flower fizz for the toast. In the evening we have to pay £150 for the hire of private section of a cocktail bar/club so we're agreed on one drink per guest then it's done.

I've never been to a wedding with an open bar.

I have to say, I don't agree re people going mad. I've been to several open-bar events, including my brother's friend's 21st birthday recently, and no-one went crazy; and I know our guests wouldn't go crazy. If anything, I've found that people are pretty respectful and tone it down, as they're not paying and don't want to look like they're taking the p***.

I think if people are the type to get absolutely off their faces then they will, regardless of whether the alcohol is free or they're paying.

Nice to hear people don't expect it.

I've heard a few people who do expect it (my aunt and one of H2B's ushers).

I'm tee total anyway so I'm not fussed about alcohol but everyone else does drink and some do drink an unhealthy amount.

I completely agree ecofreak xx

we are having a limited free bar, we are going to put 2000 behind the bar, and then once its gone, people will buy their own drinks. However i think i will exclude spirits as these can eat in to the fund fairly quickly.

I dont think a free bar is expected at all, and it would be rude of people to assume i think, however if you have money left in your budget then i dont see any harm in it. Your h2b needs to compromise though just as you are willing to. x

Not a chance are we having a free bar. We might give people the first drink, but we're already giving people a welcome drink, a toasting drink and half a bottle of wine for the meal (included in our package.) I'd be utterly disgusted if people made disgruntled noises about having to pay for more drinks, no-one's forcing them to drink more! And aside from anything, I don't see why we should spend £40-£50 more on some people than others purely because they drink more.

I probably wouldn't have one but could you just have open bar for the first half hour or something as a compromise? I really think costs could go bonkers this way, I'd be reluctant....!!

yup. wise move :)

Good on you InDreamland!

You go lovely! Grind that man down till you get your own way haha! Weddings are so expensive as it is! xx

hayley elizabeth oh no he didnt. in fact he went shortly after the speeches which was downright rude. i asked my friend why she even invited him and she said he was her husbands uncle but she didnt like him as it was. so rude though x

OMG Mrscookiecrew - how rude! Can't stand people like that!

People taking liberties like that is why I really don't want that open bar, especially given how much drink we're already providing as part of the package.

xx

My sentiments exactly xx

Will do ;) xx

Well H2B has said "I don't think we will end up having an open bar" so almost! ;) xx

Yep - he'd better stick to that thought now lol xx

Never underestimate the determination of a B2B lol xx

bumping for bobsi
xx

Thanks InDreamland, lovely of you to do that. read the post will not be doing it I don't think. xxx

were getting married on inchcolm island and going for a meal afterwards with wedding party so just having a night time reception in a hall for everyone with buffett , not having a bar just going to put a few bottles of wine on each table and buy some spirits for the toast and soft drinks for kids if anyone wants any more they can bring it with them x

I think an open bar is lovely luxury but unfortunatly we can't afford it.
But if we had some budget left at the end I would be more than willing to put it behind the bar.
I like the idea of everyone getting a little voucher for wine, beer or soft drink. That's a lovely gesture :)