It's important, it's your identity.

I finally gave in to changing my name officially on all legal documents, although passport is not yet changed lol, but I still use my maiden name at work so everyone knows me by my maiden name but on all the official database I am in my married name. I am tempted to change it all again though to double barrelled as I like my maiden name and hubby says that at the time he didn't realise how strongly I felt about keeping my maiden name. I actually prefer my maiden name to my married name.

Thanks IDL I was really starting to think I was being awful. OH was a bit taken aback because he had just assumed I would but he's come round to the compromise. It's more other people's reactions making me question myself. As you say, it's my name and identity. I really have to stop letting other people get in my head.

No I want to have double barrelled I will be Clayton- Hughes , think oh woukd like me just to be Hughes but I also said woukd he change his name and he said no so I was like why would you expect me to change mine- when I no finally tie the knot I will ensure its down as Clayton- Hughes , God knows what will happen if we have kids lol

i think if we wanted kids I'd maybe of considered it more but I'm pretty sure I would of still double barrelled it. I did say he could do the same with his so we would have the same surname. It was worth it just to see the look on his face haha

if you dont want to change your name then dont, its your choice and your partner should understand that.

IDL I'd say it's fine with kids. I just meant it was one less thing to take into account. Could double barrel the dogs name I guess but the vet might think we are a bit odd. :-)

Awww lol Julie, that's so cute! The dogs have surnames?

Lol that is funny.

I'm still deciding whether or not to take my H2B's surname but I know he wants me to have his name because he keeps calling Mrs Joanne Marie Griffiths even though we are not married. I might take his name or I might have both my and his surname so it would be Mrs Joanne Marie Hopkins Griffiths if I was to have both or I might just keep it as Joanne Marie Hopkins

I am changing my name but am not overly comfortable with it.
I haven't been forced into it. It was my decision.
My name is my identity and by changing it I feel I will be loosing that. My name is my nickname so goes through my head will people have to stop calling me that
However, it is really important to me that I have the same name as our kids. And I don't like our names double barrelled.
So purely my decision but I know where you are coming from. If I wasn't worried about the kids thing then I would keep it.

You aren't being unreasonable and at the end of the day it is a decision that only you can make but be sure to make it for the right reasons.

You're perfectly within your rights to do whatever you like! People shouldn't frown on it as being "wrong" or unusual - it's your name and you have to live with it!

I've always known I would take my husband's surname, regardless of who it was or what the name was, as I've always loved the tradition of it and would want to have the same surname as my children. Double barreling has never appealed to me either - it would sound cr@p for me anyway! xx

Same here Jenn. I am looking forward to getting rid of it :)

Although I will be changing my name, I don't think anyone has the right to tell you whether or not you should change yours.

It is a growing trend that men take their wife's name. A friend of mine decided to do that as his wife was the last of 3 girls (no boys) to get married. His wife is Japanese and his in laws were so happy and honoured by it.

I also have another friend who didn't change her name due to her profession. There are quite a few cultures where you don't change your name. Eg italians apparently don't do it.

Unfortunately I cannot think of a compromise that has not already been suggested, but to be honest it is your name so I think it should be your decision x

Have another sit down with your other half and have a good chat about it. Maybe a double barrol name? X

*now

I did change my name but it's perfectly reasonable not to. Many ladies don't. I know the principal of the college that I work at has kept her maiden name, at least for work purposes. She's high enough in her profession that changing her name would be a very bad move, as people know who she is. Double-barrelling is an option but you can end up with a bit of a mouthful. My mum actually changed her name initially, she got married in 1978 when there wasn't really a question. Subsequently she did change back, as she had started writing under her maiden name and found it too complicated using both. The one thing I will say, if anyone is debating it and isn't sure, is that the change back for her was pretty straightforward, she just needed a letter from someone professional that knew her to give to the banks etc.

Is he trying to do as Mrs bucket! Lol

I thought it was normally maiden then hubby's .. That's what my step mum did x

I don't know if there's any traditions around it but the people I know have maiden - husbands :)

I just thought it sounds better with my maiden name then his. Think he just wants his name to be first grrrrrrrrrrr.

I will still have it, just next to mine. I have actually changed everything to his officially apart from my passport but I'm missing my maiden name and feel my identity has been taken away from me so I want it back.

I'm also struggling to sign my married name still, still keep doing my maiden name accidently.................not good after almost 2.5 years!

I guess so.

Lol, your signature can be anything you want it to be so could just do 1 letter initials or something.

I hate my married signature.

Good point!

You are definitely not being unreasonable! I am double barrelling my name so that I can keep my surname, and we named our daughter with the double barrelled surname before we even got Engaged as I refused to drop my name. OH has been fine about it, and no one has ever questioned me on it, as I think they all know that when it comes to important things like that, it's not worth getting into an Arguement with me about it! Haha!
His name is also a very popular surname, and I know at least 8 people with that surname that are in no way related to him, so I didn't want to lose my identity in that respect, as Everyone knows me by my last name, especially people from school who always called me by both my names.
I think, that if you don't want to drop your name, that's fine. If you want to double barrel, even better. But I don't believe that you should be pressurised into changing something so important to you if you really don't feel comfortable with it.
Everyone will know that you're Married, and some people look at the changing of the last name to be an amazing part of Marriage, but I'm not one of those people. And it seems that neither are you. xx