My nan wont stop interfering, she told me the venue was too expensive and I have to change it (despite the fact I'd lose £1000 deposit). Then she said I couldn't have the flowers I wanted as they were too expensive. It's ok for her to have an opinion, but she doesn't just have an opinion... she goes on and on and on.... She just has been critisising and picking holes in everything, and has been really spiteful. I just don't get why, she's lovely and normally soo supportive, she retired in December, so maybe she's bored?! I dunno, but she's had me in tears numerous times lately! Telling me I wont lose weight, and not being supportive at all when I felt I looked fat in my dress!! And then to top it all off she was basically saying my bridesmaid would look better than me!! And then my bridesmaid text me yesterday to say my nan had taken her dress shopping!!!!!! WTF?! How the hell can she possibly think that's her place?? ARGHHHHHHH
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorUnknown
aww...thats terrible. i am sure your nan is just worried that you wont be able to afford it and just wants the best for you.
try and speak to her, she may not realise how she is making you feel. xx
CommentAuthorKaya
She's very controlling and everything is always "well I wouldn't have done it like that". She's become very good at be litteling everyone and everything!! As well as telling us to change things cos their too expensive, she's also telling us to invite people we never see, and wouldn't even recognise me if they saw me any more!! Seiously though.... taking me bridesmaid dress shopping was the final straw...... ARHHHHH
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorDellie
Is your Nan paying for all your wedding..if not she really has no right telling you what to spend your money on unless she is worried you are going to put yourselves in huge debt x
CommentAuthorFHP2B
Sorry she is being like that hun!
Just out of curiosity... is she paying for anything that she is saying is too expensive?
I think you need to have a word with her and tell her to back off... or get someone else to speak with her.
Its your day and you should be the one sorting everything if thats what you want to do!
Im sure everything wil be perfect on the day and you will look gorgeous!
Oh dear, it does sound like your nan wants to save you money but she is not going about it the right way. You probably need to have a sit down talk about this and let her know that she can't do things like go shopping without you and that this is your wedding; you only get to do this once so although opinions are welcome, you are going to do what you feel is right. I hope it gets sorted hun, it can be tricky with family. I have a MIL who is starting to 'tell' me things to do instead of suggesting. x x x
CommentAuthorKaya
She bought my dress and had offered more money too, but not gonna accept it, as it would give her more power than she seems to think she already has!
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorsk8rpunkbarbie
Ii know the feeling!! I live with my grandparents and my granda has been so so supportive but grama on other hand -.- shes has me in tears a few times as well ( maybe it because my mams marriaged is a bad one i dont know maybe shes worried mine will be same :s ) but when i mentioned fact me and mark maybe moving in together before wedding she hit the roof! Blah blah blah you agreed with me you didnt wanna move in till after wedding blah blah ( me and h2b and now moving in after wedding) but i know how you feel trying to keep everyone happy sucks :( shes now started on the venue saying is too far away but it isnt her day its ours maybe its because nanas/gramas are old fashioned :s i know one thing grandas rock!
CommentAuthorKaya
No, she's not paying for any of the stuff she thinks is too expensive.... just keeps telling us we're silly spending lots of money on 1 day, yet, she keeps adding to the cost with other FAR less important things!! And if I said anything to her she's make out I was the bad guy and that she was "only trying to help" and that I'm being childish and selfish etc. My mum told me not to bother talking to my nan about it, as she'll only be nasty and make me feel worse... which is prob true! But seriously.... taking my Bridesmaids dress shopping??????!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!! lol
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorKaya
My nan keeps moaning we're not getting married in the church she got married in aswell.... think that's why she's making an issue bout the venue.... but she was fine about it at 1st!! And no one else in the fam has gotten married there!
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorRachie :D
My nana is being lovely but I know she'll try & do what yours is doing - all I can say is your day your way. Tell your bm bier to discuss the wedding with her at all and don't do it yourself either if your paying for it all it has nothing to do with her
9th June 2012 when two worlds collide
The Crazy Cat Lady and the Transformer Man!
CommentAuthorbride22feb2012
THAT is totally out of order.
I don't have any grandparents and over then past ten years I have lost a lot of family - she should relaise how lucky she is to witness this day.
Ignore everything that you don't agree with - this is not constructive for you and wedding planning should be up to you!
it's never the grandparents place to decide what is or is not allowed for your day!
Maybe she is bored from retirement - eve so, that's no excuse for reducign you to tears.
Did you ever get an apology?
Awh... **HUG**
22.02.2012 at Gosfield Hall
The Best Day Of My Life... Guests One And All!
CommentAuthorKaya
Nope, no apology. Just moodiness! lol
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorbride22feb2012
OMG
just get on with your own plans. then she'll realise. don't let it get to you. i know it must be hard. i miss my grandad i wish he was going to be there... it's a shame your nan isn't appreciating the day is yours to plan as you see fit, just as it was for her all those years ago...
maybe your mum planned everything herself, and that's why nan wants to control yours?
:(
**double hug**
22.02.2012 at Gosfield Hall
The Best Day Of My Life... Guests One And All!
CommentAuthorEmsy5000
can you give her a project to try and get her off your back. or what about just saying that the wedding will be a suprise for her from now on because its clearly a worry for her and you know what will make a great day for you!!
Dyslexic
its spelt wrong
I No! I Now! I Know!!!!!
I am NOW MRS LONSDALE!!
CommentAuthorKaya
I think she's a bit jealous h2b's mum is making invites tbh..... perhaps that's another thing. I dunno what I can give her to do though. Good idea though about telling her it'll be a suprise as it's causing her worry.... thanks Emsy!
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorGriff
OMG what an utter cow sorry but this is totally unacceptable I cannot believe she would be like this with you! Don't accept her money and just have your day your way hun ignore everything else she says and tell your bms not to respond to communications with her xx
CommentAuthorKaya
edited
Unfortunately 1 of my bridesmaids is friends with my nan too (we all worked together at 1 point) soo not that easy :-(
My bridesmaid does know how unimpressed I am though!
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorEmsy5000
what about table decorations could it be something that would make her feel really important but hard to get wrong
Dyslexic
its spelt wrong
I No! I Now! I Know!!!!!
I am NOW MRS LONSDALE!!
CommentAuthorKaya
Haha, I'm scared of letting her do anything, cos knowing her she's take what I want with a pinch of salt and do the opposite, or what SHE thinks is best. Argghhhhh!! She was lovely when I 1st got engaged. I honestly don't know what's happened!! I really think she's just getting wound up not having anything to do now she's retired, and is focusing all her thoughts and energy on how she'd like my wedding to be, where as before, she was busy, so happy to let me get on with it!
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
I think most people from that age group are the same when it comes to money etc as they are from an era when you made the most of what you had and it wasn't all about money. Just take what she says with a pinch of salt. I'm sure she doesn't mean upset you but she is doing a very good job of it. Maybe you would be better just not telling her what you are paying for things or reduce the actual prices of it all when she asks.
I think it is out of order that she went dress shopping with the bridesmaid without telling you. Was she trying to sort out the dresses or just wanting to go out for a day trip out and used that as an excuse? If she is bored and lonely she might be trying to use your wedding to give her something to pass that time.
Have a polite word with her and tell her that you would like her to be involved with the wedding but it upsets you when she does things without you knowing etc then just try to ignore her funny ways.
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
OMG my parents are payin 4 my whole outfit piad deposit on venue and gettin cars, helpin me get bm accessories! and they aint tellin me wat to do or anything they r leavin it to me!!
y dont u get her to do place cards/ thank u cards?
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorpennieb-MrsRiley
Firstly, just stop telling your nan so much about the wedding, then she can't complain and you have less earache (I know this works, your nan sounds just like mine:P)
Secondly - yes, it was out of order for your nan to take your BM dress shopping BUT why the hell did your BM go along with it in the first place?? Think you also need to be having a word with your BM! (Or if it's a child, then have a word with the mother :P)
Now, finally, Mrs Riley
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
I have the greatest husband!
CommentAuthorsuzky123
we have had a similar thing with a certain family member saying 'i dont know why ur doing that its too expensive' but now passes comment about everything we do including suggesting family meals out .... you cant beat 3 courses at xmas for 15 quid can you but because we are having the dream wedding... automatically everything is wrong. Therefore, we are basically keeping everything hidden from people, particularly costs, unless they are on a need to know basis. They keep asking but you just politely say that your not discussing it and they will be pleasantly surprised on the day. You will find everyone else supportive and maybe it is a tad bit of jealousy that maybe you are having a wedding similar to one she would have wanted herself but unfortunately wasnt in your situation. Alternatively she could be genuinely worrying about you buying a house etc and making sure you have money left over. Assure her that obviously your not one to rush into things and you will make sure that you leave yourself comfortable to enjoy your new lives together.
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorGoff
Ok you HAVE to stand up to her and tell it like it is.... i think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how she backs off and becomes very nice indeed. People like this are not used to being stood up to but once you put your foot down and tell her to keep her nose OUT, then she will realise that you will tell her how it is without a second thought!
UKB Mad Scientist
Ride it like ya stole it.....
I'm a flippin ORTHOTIST
