My mum and dad are paying a lot towards this wedding but we are contributing a lot of money also.
We are getting married at a place called Dumbleton Hall on the Worcestershire/Gloucestershire border and until Tuesday, nobody had seen it for the 2.5 years of our engagement, but I wanted to take our flower girls and their mums to see where they would be walking.
We have the hall exclusively and therefore have all 34 bedrooms of which I believe about 14 of them have been paid for by guests not part of the bridal party/families.
Check in is at 11.30am, it is only a 20 minute drive to Dumbleton for the majority of our friends but everyone seems to want to get changed at the venue, we feel that this is fine, but my parents are doing their nut. Our wedding is at 2.30pm and they don't want people turning up checking in at 11.30 and hanging around doing nothing when the venue will not be dressed/ready.
Anthony and I's argument is, if they've paid for a room, they are entitled to use it and just let them do what they want!
But my parents are really starting to stress me out! I have cried so much this past week because I don't want to upset them but I don't want to upset my friends either!
What shall I do? Does anyone have any advice?
xxx
Sorry for my rant and thank you in advance!!
CommentAuthorVelcro
i think they should just be allowed to turn up anytime fromt he rooms being availbale, Id just want to get there with enough time to get ready, just point out that the rooms are available from half 11, however if youre someone who gets ready in half an hour, your best off checkign in later so youre not bored
I dont think you can stop people from checking into rooms they have paid for
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
In my view, of their paying for the room, they can check in whenever they want.
Just point out to your parents that it isn't something you have control over.
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorSteffie
Thanks
I've spoken to the girls involved and they've agreed to check in at 1pm as we will be having loads done in the venue and the bar won't be opened until 1pm
My parents are control freaks but also I don't want my venue to lose the WOW factor that it has! so the girls have agreed to this also x
CommentAuthorhigginszajac
Oh my, if i had booked a room i would be one of those turning up as soon as i was allowed, people will be busy getting themselves ready, you could always ask for the doors to any areas where your wedding or reception will take place to be out of bounds till just before you start xx
I agree, ask for the doors/areas to be off limits till its time hun. I know where ur coming from but you cant ask guests not to check in esp if they are getting ready there too - i know it takes me aaaaages to get ready lol xx
CommentAuthorSteffie
Right, so this is what has happened. People will now be told they will be able to check in from 1pm for our wedding is at 2.30 so we don't want people turning up at 11.30 milling around when the venue won't look perfect!
Bar will be closed until 1, room for the ceremony will be closed off!
It only takes 20 minutes to get to our venue so I don't see why travelling for that small length of time in your dress/suit is that much of a problem!
And I can stop people turning up as our suppliers will need the time and space and not to be disturbed! I don't think i'm being unreasonable asking my guests to turn up 90 mins before the wedding rather that 3 hours before! The earlier they turn up, the quicker I have to have my breakfast etc and the longer I'm locked away in my room! I want to enjoy my day and my amazing hall!
xx
CommentAuthoremmaaa
Erm, sorry, I don't understand, you seem to have changed your position completely oppposite between your first and last post? To be honest, I agree more with your opening viewpoint, I understand wanting to have time to absorb the atmosphere in your venue on your own, but wont you be upstairs for most of it anyway, and I can't see many people turning up and wandering around the business end of your venue 3 hours beforehand? I think it's a bit presumptive to only allow your guests less than 90 minutes to get ready in the hotel (they'll have to be there waiting for the ceremony for at least 15 minutes beforehand, surely?) I don't think it's fair to demand they get ready at home.
If I were to request people not to turn up early I'd probably roll it back to check in at 12, and tell the venue to keep them away from your rooms and entrance (don't they do this anyway?) But it's your wedding, your entitled to ask whatever you want!
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i must say that if the hoteltold me i could check in at 11.30..and i was getting ready for a wedding then i would be there then, we had guests staying the night before our uk wediing and the ceremony wasn`t till 3.30..... the staff kept doors shut and the "wow" factors wasnt lost at all ..... i would be a bit peeved if i was told
a) where to get ready b) how long i had
but as others have said its your wedding so do what makes you happy
yes u have just done a jerkly n hyde on ure posts hun lol
if people check in at 11.30 i cant see them gettin ready straight away then walkin around hotel, they will porb cum n get a shower etc in room and chill on bed then cum out just before? this si wat i wud do x
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorSteffie
edited
theres a wedding the day before and check out is at 11 if people check in at 11.30 there is no way the chamber maids will be able to service 34 bedrooms in half an hour.
I wouldn't want to arrive too early at a wedding especially if the bar won't be open I just don't understand why our guests who are travelling 20 mins feel they have to be at the venue as soon as!
I know certain friends will be snooping! and I really want everyone to arrive at 1pm ish so they get the full wow factor! my venue is the most beautiful place I've seen and it will be even more fabulous when it's decorated and it will be finished by 1ish and this is only why I'm wanting them to arrive when it's finished and ready!
I know I will be up in my room for most of the time but I still want to leisurely have my breakfast and be relaxed, I don't think that's an unfair request!
Nothing will spoil my day so whatever happens, happens. We've advised people for 1pm check ins and they are happy with this!
The rooms have all been bought by US and dad has asked certain people for money for a few of them!! The majority of them are for bridal party! and we have full use of the venue exclusively from 1pm-11am.
The reason i may have sounded Jekyll and Hyde-ish is because I wrote my first post BEFORE speaking again with parents who had spoken to the venue!
CommentAuthorPrincess2be
Well i think its up to you, expecially as you have booked the rooms yourself! Its your wedding day!
CommentAuthornatalie2614
If you have paid for the rooms then fair enough dont let them check in before 1pm. But if they live 20 mins away why are they staying over?
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorHa_x3
If your guests have paid for a room no-one has the right to tell them they cannot come untill a certain time. If i was a paying guest & was told not to come untill a certain time i would completely ignore them as i have paid, therefore its my decision no one elses x
Tell your parents exactly what you have told us. no one can decide seeing as they are paying guests x
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Oh sorry didnt realise YOU paid for the guests rooms. in that case i say you can dictate what time they arrive but for those who have payed for their own rooms should be allowed to take advantage & make the most for the money they have spent xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
tbh i can c ur parents POV and tbh i dont think id want my guests there that early but on the other and if theyve paid......
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I'm sure when the day comes, this will be the last thing on your mind!
These things have a way of working themselves out, I wouldn't stress too much. I think you are always going to get guests arrive stupidly early regardless of what time you tell them, even of they weren't staying overnight. I can understand where you're coming from tho xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorSteffie
thank you girls!
guests are staying over when they only live 20mins away because of drinking and because a taxi on bank holiday monday is going to be extortionate
i hope it will all work out in the end!
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
well if its only 20 mins away from peoples houses there no point them checking in early anyways.....glad ur sorted xxx
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorSteffie
thats what the point was lilmisschuckles!! they can travel 20mins and arrive an hour and a half early and still have plenty of time to get ready! I'm not saying our guests travelling from, cannock, wales and sheffield have to arrive then they obviously can arrive early because they will be travelling further!!
Ive been really emotional trying to type these last few posts because i couldn't explain myself properly and i thought people were getting defensive. i understand the lady, her partner and their son who have paid for a room but only live 20mins away want to arrive early however, because there is a wedding the day before I am actually sung their room to get changed in and they will just have to use a spare room/friends room.
Does anybody think we are now being that unreasonable?
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
Nope, but I can see why people got the wrong end of the stick though. If I was only twenty minutes away, I wouldn't be too fussed... A lot of hotels don't let you check in til after that time anyway xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorSteffie
well i think the hotel may have thought that when melina rang up and enquired she could have been a far away gues who was travelling a long way but we've sorted it all it now *hopefully fingers crossed*
Thanks a lot LauraJo87 xx
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
lol im still confuzzld but hey thats me all over.....get a bar of choc a brew and chillax huni xxxxxx
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorSteffie
thanks hun
i think i will :) 3 weeks of relaxation now is required!! xxxxxx
CommentAuthorSteffie
thanks hun
i think i will :) 3 weeks of relaxation now is required!! xxxxxx
