My dad sadly passed away 2wks ago (30/10/2012). My whole world has crashed around me. I am getting married May 2013 and have so much to sort out that I dont have it in me to do any of the organising. Got issues with the mother in law wanting us to invite people that we dont want there as we are only havin approx 50 in the day and more in the evening, our guests list is compete. I know they say time is a healer but im struggling! All i think about is my dad and how he isnt going to be there or for me to even speak to him on the day....Im devastated! I was so over the moon to get married and now its gone and i dont feel like i can get that feeling back!
I have no energy to do anything and feel the wedding is now the last thing on my mind though i was so over the moon when we set the date!!
I hate this feeling!
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
right first of all babe you need to put all things wedding on hold ... yes time is a healer but sweetheart you have only had 2 weeks .
an offer to you is that i am a qualified grief and bereavement counsellor so am here to help when and if you want it
Firstly, condolences on the loss of your father. I cant begin to imagine how it feels.
Right now your priority should be sorting yourself out - dealing with your father's death and anything associated with it.
Perhaps put the wedding to one side until the New Year so you don't feel so much pressure. Maybe even consider postponing for the time being if you and your fiance think it's the best thing to do.
Time is a healer - IMO it never heals, just doesn't hurt so much and only 2 weeks since your father's death, it's totally understandable that everything is raw right now. In a different circumstance, I was so sad my Grandma wouldnt be at my wedding as she passed away in 2006 but I made my own tributes and had her there in my own way and maybe you and your fiance could talk of ways of including your father in your wedding - perhaps your fiance could have your dads ring or something?
Right now, you need to focus on you and your grief - unless you want to throw yourself into a distraction.
My thoughts are with you x
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Hugs to you and so sorry to hear of your loss.
Take time out for now, have time to grieve. Start again when you are ready.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorEllenS40
Ive never in my life felt pain like this before! One minute im ok and then the next im crying. At the wedding i am having music played at the end of the service where it is a recording of my dad playing in a band...as he was a soprano player in a brass band and felt if I had this this is my way of maybe thinking he was there with me on the day though i know i will be overcome with many tears!
Ive also had to start my training for my new job this week as i couldnt turn it down as i needed to get back out there, though i am now starting to think i am maybe taking on too much!
I know my dad would not want me to be upset but he was my dad!
I want to be happy that i am going to be getting married but at this moment in time I cant and im now worried this may affect the day when it arrives.
One day i say to myself I am going to smile as this is what he would want me to do so i go ahead with my day smiling and laughing and then the next Im crying even crying myself to sleep.
Im waiting for my stepmum to put together a box with a few of my dads belongings and photos and music recordings (cds) Im unsure on how this is going to make me feel but she has been brilliant!
Aww I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and nina is right it will never heal, just not hurt as much. 2 weeks is nothing, your feelings are normal for so soon after. You need time to focus on grieving and thinking about yourself. I would postpone wedding plans till the new year or when you feel a bit better. Weddings can be planned fast if need be, my mate planned hers in a few months and it was amazing. Thinking of you and your family at this sad time x x
CommentAuthorDonda
Oh hun I am so sorry for your loss. My deepest heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. I know exactly how you feel, I lost my Dad to Cancer 2 years ago, I nursed him through his illness with my Mum as he wanted to stay at home and we wouldn't have it any other way. I was very close to my Dad, he was my friend and confidante and I was and still am devastated. It is only natural for you to feel how you do. It takes time and even now I get upset. I am going to miss my Dad being at my wedding so much, but I am carrying a picture of him in a little heart locket in my bouquet, and I know he will be there with me. You have to allow yourself time to grieve. Don't be fretting about how you will feel on your wedding day now, maybe put the planning aside for a few months, I know you feel as if there is loads to do but it will wait. For now concentrate on getting through each day. It will get easier, not better but easier, you will never stop missing him and you will probably always have a little cry, I do, but you will find getting on with your planning and your life easier as time goes by. Love and hugs sent to you xx
Met on 7th April 2008
Got engaged on 14th November 2011
Getting married on 12th December 2012
Looking forward to the rest of my life with the man I love
CommentAuthorfloatee
Thoughts to you at this time. Love and light sweetness.
CommentAuthorLynD
lots of love to you... as all the lovely ladies have said, it will get easier but, at the moment, it's still very raw and you must give yourself time to grieve...xx
CommentAuthorBarbaraU
So sad to hear of your loss, try and think off the good times you had together xxx
CommentAuthorEllenS40
Thank U all so much for your kind words means so much!!
Donda my dad passed away from cancer but unfortunately we all thought he was going to come out of intensive care but it wasnt meant to be.....funny thing is before he was taken into intensive care i seen him on the ward whilst he was awake on hospital bed where i told him i luved him and gave him kisses and cuddles his reply back was he for me to not worry but he beat it once he will beat the cancer again sadly not knowing that was the last words i would ever hear him say to me.....
I know this is a wedding site and im so sorry to have to pour my heart out on here but with the wedding and everything else going on i dont know which way to turn.....I have to say though it is lovely to hear and have lovely messages as in some way it encourages me to look to the future! I know im not the first person to loose someone and im defo not going to be the last just finding it hard.......i will say though i have lost people close to me in the past but never anyone as close as my dad!!
Again thank u all so much for ur kind words as it really does mean a lot to me xx
CommentAuthorRosyF77
its a big thing and its not surprising really. Just give yourself time x
CommentAuthorKaren22
I am so very sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine ever going through what your going through, I would definitely put wedding planning on hold till the New Year and see how you feel after that.
Lots of hugs coming your way and take care of yourself. xxxx
Mrs Gill
24th August 2013
CommentAuthorStaceyP91
I am so sorry for your loss and will be sending hugs your way :(
I can't really offer much advice I'm afraid Hun, like others have said, time really isn't a healer, it eases in time but it will always b their. And I'm sure your dad will not want to see you upset. Love the idea about the music at the end of the ceronmy.
Xxxxx
30-11-13 my life becomes complete
Mrs Solomon to be
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
I'm so so sorry for your loss hun, and how you are feeling is completely natural! It's going to hurt loads now because it is still so raw, but it will get better, I promise. The other ladies are right though, you never get over something like this, you just learn to live with it but you will still miss him and wish he was still here. You need to concentrate on yourself at the moment though hun. I would get in touch with your work place and just explain everything and ask for some more time to come to terms with what has happened, and as for the wedding do you have anyone that you could hand some responsibility over to? They can keep everything on track for you and you wouldn't have to worry about having to do stuff for it or about being rushed to sort everything if you leave it. Sending loads of hugs and love your way, make sure you take care of yourself hun! xxxxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorTori
Firstly I would like to offer my condolences Hun.
My dad passed away 11 years ago so I do understand to some extent what you are going through. It is true time is a great healer but I know I will miss him on my wedding so goodness knows how you will feel.
At the moment just take an hour at a time. Rant if you need to, cry if you need to.
One thing your dad playing the saxophone sounds a lovely idea but will it be too much too soon. Im not trying to put a dampner just wouldn't want it to be too upsetting xxxxx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Oh hun, I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending you lotsa HUGS!!!!!!!! My condolences to you and all your loved ones.
Put the wedding planning on hold for now sweetie and go back to it when you feel like it and make sure you talk to H2B and others about how you feel, let it all out and we're all here for you too xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorCarole5817
This is really sad to read....I can't begin to imagine how you must feel right now. Sending your lots of love and hugs xx
Looking 4ward to being Mrs Greaves, proud to call him mine x
CommentAuthorKerrieM47
edited
XXXX No words just lots of loveand healing hugs xxxx
CommentAuthorMrs Cartwright
Sorry for your loss. I agree take time away from the wedding to grieve for him. Thoughts with you and your family x
CommentAuthornatalie2614
No words to describe what you're going through so huge hugs and deepest condolences from me love xxx
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I'm so sorry hun.
Put the wedding on the back burner for now. You are still in the early days of your grief and it is too much to expect to take that on as well as trying to deal with everything. If there is anything that needs doing urgently, maybe delegate it to h2b. Grief can be a very all-consuming thing; there is no right or wrong way to get through it. I am sure as time passes you will begin taking an interest in the wedding again. In the meantime, you do what it takes to make you feel better.
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorClareS
aww hun big hugs. I've not spoken to my natural father for years and considered my stepdad as a proper dad. He passed away end of April from cancer and I'm not ashamed to say I went to pieces. It really knocked me for six. we considered bringing the wedding forward and he wouldn't let us, I then considered canelling the wedding, but he wouldn't have wanted that either. He just told us to have our day and enjoy it and be happy. You need to take some time out for youself. There's no desperate choices that need to be made immediatley so leave wedding stuff to a side for a bit. whilst you're feeling like this your heart will not be in it. Have time to think about your dad. Have a wour with your h2b and gt him to tell everyone to to back off and give you room. when you're ready to start doing things again you can maybe think about incorporating things that either your dad liked or things that remind you of him. carry an item of him as something special, a candle ceremony to remember him etc. You take care xx
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
Ahh hun massive massive hugs for you...
Let your heart heal a while and the wedding can wait a little.... Am sure everyone around you will understand xxx
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorShazk
Huni my thoughts are with you and your family right now.
Like beens aid maybe putting the wedding on hold at moment amybe good idea untill you are ready, you will get you mood back but it will take time xxxx
BIG HUGS xxx
Away with the flutterbys xxx
CommentAuthorEllenS40
Thank u all for ur kind words it seriously does mean so much to me and very comforting. Last few days ive constantly cried and screamed,think its now its hit me more with loosing him!
My partner suggested we postpone the wedding last night to July or August?? Not because of loosing my dad but due to problems we are having with regards to his mum...My partner was brought up in care under social services from the age of 6 till he was 16. His mum is an alcoholic and has always caused us problems more so towards me apparently because she doesnt like the fact he is happy with me. I have always put my differences aside for the sake of my partner and our daughter but I cant take much more of it, again not sure if im like this with loosing my dad or if ive just had enough of putting up with the constant pleasing for the past 12yrs.
We found out yesterday she has been inviting people we dont want there at the wedding, she has been putting horrid status's on facebook about my partner ie she wishes he was dead and not the son she lost 2yrs ago. I have had to delete my facebook account so i can adjust to whats happened with my dad and to stop reading what she puts. She has turned majority of his family against him why we dont know when they all know what she is like especially with alcohol.
Also found out she seen the vicar who is going to be doing the service for our wedding and has asked him to talk about her son who sadly passed away 2yrs ago at the end of the service....we dont want this...today we are going to see the vicar to find out whats been said and to kindly ask him to not give her any information.
I dont want to postpone the wedding as i know when 11may 2013 arrives and im not getting married i will be upset but so much is going on and the happiness is being drained from me. Even my partner is close to blowing his lid with everything thats happened but again this is what his mum will be wanting.
Sorry i am blabbering on so much and again thank u all for listening xx
