if i had a joint hen and stag then it would be a week away as a massive group like we have done in the past and each had our own night out on that holiday. my BIL2b and his wife had a 'sten do' (see what they did lol) and they had a civilized wine tasting evening with a few drinks in a pub after x

thats what there called haha sten dos lol x

I can totally understand why you are jealous, I would be gutted if I was in your position. It has crossed my mind to have a hen do abroad, but I would probably be in the same position as you. If I was you I would speak to your h2b now and tell him your ideas, you've then got chance to text all your mates and see how many want to go.

mines the same!! i feel your pain i would be the same if he couldnt go i would offer to have a joint one not refused when asked! well thats why they say men are from mars and women are from venus.

thinking of just goin away on my own with the kids instead not what i had invisaged but better than nothing and been stuck at home on our own x

We're having a joint stag and hen party (Hagapalooza) but with separate sections. The stags are going karting and paintballing while the hens go to a cocktail workshop and burlesque art class then we're all meeting up for a cocktail crawl and karaoke. There are five guys coming on the hen party section (not all gay) and a girl joining the stags. I didn't want to separate on gender lines and it seems to be going down well.

I know that this might put a few noses out of joint, but I think for a lot of people an overseas stag or hen party is a little excessive. A lot of people don't have much spare cash lying about at the moment and overseas trips for stags/hens can be very expensive.

Sorry to not agree but it's his stag do, it's probably the last holiday he will ever have just him and his mates, you dont begrudge him that, surely? I know you are dissapointed that your friends have let you down, but you need to take that out on them. He hasn't done anything wrong. If he wanted a 'sten do' great, but he doesnt. Its not a bad thing, its just not what you want. Had your friends not let you down, you would not be at all bothered.

If I were you speak to my mates, if money really is the problem, do something closer to home, or better still turn your house into a party house for the time he is away. That way you dont have to worry about the kids, your mates can all chuckin for food and drink and entertainment etc .... my friend did that, the party at her house lasted 3 days and I can honestly say its the best time I ever had!!

Point is dont be jealous of H2B because he is doing something that makes him happy, there will be plenty of times in your life when you want to do something without him, at least he wont be able to object....

and when were married he will still have lads trips and holidays probably more so as the kids get older. x

In principal it is his stag do, but I would be livid! I have just spoke to my h2b and he says that your h2b is being unfair. That might be because he knows that's the answer I expect him to give, lol. I personally would make him cancel and that would be extremely selfish of me, but surely he wouldn't want to do something that would make you so upset and unhappy. I agree it isn't his fault that your friends are let downs, but that's not the point. The other point is as you have 3 kids would you ever be able to afford to go to Las Vegas? This is exactly why I wouldn't have my hen do abroad, because I would end up billy no mates.

they can afford to go when we first started talking about my hen do my moh and friend said lets do benidorm for a few days then changed it to a week so i said well im up for that and when we asked and i set up an event on facebook theres was loads up for it, after months or pratting about me and another friend went and booked a week in benidorm then she backed out and noone else had booked on,so we changed my hend o over to our honeymoon so not to loose money.

it was 2 of thems ideas to go they was all up for it, but when it came down to it every single one of them backed out, the ones that said no from beginning fine they said all along they couldnt afford it so thats fair enough.

my moh says she cant afford a week and wont leave her son for week BUT he dad offered to pay for it and watch her son i was there when he said it!!!!!!!!!!!! and as for leaving her son he goes to skeg vegas with her parenst for a week most yrs so no excuse at all, shes just borrowed money of her dad to go to "BENIDORM" for a week with friends and teh kids!!!! as for my other mate yes she can afford it "fact". as for some of teh others i know they can afford it,we started this nearly a yr and half ago and worked out £5 a week would cover teh holiday and the spends. so no they have no excuse at all.

lisa in geniunley happy for him thats hes goin, somewhere hes allways wanted to go since ive know him its like a dream holiday for him, but yerh im angry hurt and upset its not his fault but no way would i be goin if he wasnt.

since we have been together 14yrs he has been on trips out wi lads been abroad for a 2 weeks lads holiday been to blackpool for weeknds amsterdam weymouth paint ballin flyin on a plane golfing the list goes on and on, as for me i had a weeks holiday a few yrs ago with the girls and ive been to blackpool a few times for mates bdays and a hen do and ive been to skeg vegas for 1 weekend with a friend about 10 yrs ago.

I know what you mean with that, i have been away for ppls birthdays before and got nothing in return. I think perhaps you need to consider if these people are worth bothering with at all if thats how you feel. x

im not dead set against him not goin im glad hes goina nd doing something that hes allways wanted to, and i have maldives to look forward to for our honeymoon :-) .

its just upsettin that i have nowhere that i want to go for my hen do.

my other bridesmaid is organising a night out round manchester for me for the night. and im gratefull for that i just want to do what i want to do for once and id appriciate my friends actually been friends for once x

no mandy the point of a joint is more of the woman would go in couples ie his friends wifes/gf's etc would go so we could then sepertae once there. he has basically one big set of friends allways the same lads since ive known him. i on the other hand have 3 sets of differnt groups of friends. the ones i met before i knew him, the ones ive met as my friends via other friends and then the friends i have met via his friends ie the gfs wifes etc, so if teh lads let us go the woman would probably go if that makes more sence!!!!

and im gettin more upset as he is way more happy and way more excited for hsi stag do than he has been over any aspect of our wedding or honeymoon and hes gettin phone calls every 30 mins or so sayin more ppl want to go,again i know no his fault but usually he hates talking on phone and is rude and abrupt and just basically cant wait to get of phone but now hes sat laughing talking and been all giddy for about 30 hour on phone.spent ages googling and reading up about vegas on internet but not once when ive treid gettin him to look talk about wedding or our honeymoon he just grunts at me, so basically as ive said in past posts hes more excited and intrested about been wi his mates than he is with me :-(

one of my so called friends (his mates wife) was the one who suggested us goin to benidorm for a week who has then never booked on or even bothered mentioning it again, same for her husband he suggested vegas and now hes not goin on stag do well as of yet we'll see......

maid of honur is goin to benidorm for a week on thursday with her friends and the kids, but told me she couldnt afford it :@ then said today i told ya id go for a few days but not for a week, no u and teh above said a week then decided not to do owt about it, so david mentioned me goin for a weekend and while she heared me on phone then decided she cant go cause she has no holidays left, as shes allready been abroad for 2 weeks this yr and like i said shes goin for a week next week, hmm but couldnt afford it :/

as for the others there all like yerh ill go o im defo coming but when it came to it they didnt do owt about it.

now im gettin past the stage of i dont give a f**k.

another friends and also bridemsmaid told me from the start she couldnt go as couldnt afford it so thats fair enough, but that i know of shes been to upteen concerts some the same ones a few times, been here there and every where and out most weekends and every bank holiday.

i think its basically about time i just realised apart from my kids i cant rely on anyone trust anyone of have a single true friend, including david.

I wouldn't like a joint one but that's just my own opinion & don't think h2b would either howeer i would not be letting him go to Vegas fro his stag as for one i have always wanted to go & duobt he would go without me so i can see how your idea works here. but will that just be his mates wives & girlfriends though & not your other groups of mates? Can't you arrange something else more local?

I didn't want to go away for mine as wouldn't want my friends have to pay out for a whole weekend (plus we have 2 kids & already going on honeymoon without them) so one of my bms has arranged my whole hen do (it's this Sat) and i have no idea what we are doing but she has just told me that i will need an overnight bag as we are staying out. i was surprised and now looking forward to a day & night (and next morning) of fun without the kids.

xxx

cause i think its basically they can afford to go but dont want the other going if that makes sence they'd rather go in couples not all of them most men would rather go without there partners but the woman would prob rather go with there blokes. do u get what i mean?

anyway hes goin with his mates and hell have fun :-)
me on the other hand is not but o well guess thats how it is :-(

and id love to go to vegas i love america and i want to go to see as much of america as possible, bt i know ill never get to vegas or anywhere like that because its places like that he will never take the kids as theres nowt for them to do there, so hell be ticking one of his dreams of and ill be adding to mine as usuall.

I think you have every right to be dissappointed, not only have you been let down by your friends, then your H2B also lets you down too. This should be who you can rely on in any situation to make you feel better.

If you really feel this upset and many of your posts are not the happiest I wonder if you should actually be marrying a man that seems to treat you with such little thought or respect?

Take care x

I would be LIVID. He is being utterly and completely selfish. Even if you go together he can still have those alone nights out with the boys. You could even have separate hotels for gods sake! I agree with Rockabilly Chick, find someone to go with and f*** off for 2 weeks. Or you could join the girls here who are going together for a hen do, there's a thread somewhere about going on a hen do abroad with fellow UKB's as friends have skived out xx

not decided on my own hen do yet my moh is suggesting berlin... but as i grew up there I actually cant be bothered... but the joint thing i wouldnt mind but dont know whats gonna really happen...

omfg and it just gets better the lad i mentioned above whos wife (my so called friend) who said about us goin to benidorm but then never did anything about it... her husband has just booked and paid on to go to vegas now im even more fuming.

im a good friend allways there for ppl helpfull when needed and there when they need me and all through my life i get shit on what does it take to make and keep a good friend cause i have no clue anymore, i should try been a using, sh&t stirring, not there unhelpfull bi*ch and maybe they would flock round me.

av just said to david whne he told me u should have told him he cant go, to which he replied i dont own vegas i cant stop whos goin, erm yes u can its your stag do, his reply its your mates that should get some balls nd stand up for themselves :@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

well i'm currently waiting on a phone call from travel agents with a price for 2 weeks in cyprus all inclusive including wedding package iv'e had enough i don't want a big wedding anymore i want the wedding i originally wanted which was a beach wedding and $crew everyone else i have honestly had enough i'm even on the thought train of i don't even wanna get married anymore cause all its been from begining to now is stress disapointment and misery no happiness apart from tryin my dress on that is actually the only happiness i've had out of this wedding see past posts.

davids not happy about it but he said hes past caring anymore and just wants to get married.

so ive worked out what money we'd get back from what we've paid as apart from cake and suits and church everythings paid for.
so what we'll get back will hopefully pay for us to go abroad, i dont care if noone apart from me and david and kids are there anymore why would i want a room full of ppl that mean jack $hit to me anymore i originally gave wedding abroad up so our friends could be there wish i hadnt of now. so ill keep u informed when they get bac to me with prices.

I'm happy for you hun if thats what you want. I'm guessing it was H2Bs choice to have the big wedding with all the friends then?

Have you had it out with them yet? I think you need to say something if you are upset enought to change your whole wedding.

no mandy i havent for the plain and simple reason they dont actually give a toss so its a waste of my breathe and time ive mentioned it to my longest standing friend who ive known for 16 yrs but thats it no point in sayin owt to others david said i should but i know its pointless.xxx

becky i cant belive how some ppl are selfish cows, at least u got 20 goin though hey :-) xxx

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