Well i took some advice from you lovely girls and spoke to my mum about her fella not coming and she said that if he doesnt come nor does she, she wouldnt even think about it, and she said that we should go over to see them with the kids to sort it out, which is an ok idea but im not travelling to france to get into a fight and seeing as this is my second partner that her fella has attacked im not to willing to take my kids there to witness it, to be honest it only feels like they want us to go over so they can see the kids, he hasnt seen my eldest since he was a year and a half he is going to be 4 next month and has never met my youngest of 13months my mum did pop over when the youngest was a week old but thats the last time she saw my kids. I feel so upset that she wont be there but i dont want to have to worry about a fight breaking out
CommentAuthorohfiddles
hunny im sorry that your mum feels that way. i cant believe she would be that selfish! at least you tried and now you know the truth about things. I hope your ok? xxxx
CommentAuthorGeordie_Nikki
Really sorry to hear that hun, hope you're alright
CommentAuthorLara
aww hun sending you hugs xxx
CommentAuthorWalesfromafar
Awwww hope you're ok babes. Why don't you offer to pay for half of her ticket for her to come and see you on her own so you can just talk things through with her face to face. It'll work out much cheaper than paying for you and all the kids to go and she'll still get to spend some quality time with them x
hunni ,,im lost for words,,im finding it hard to comprehend how a mother can do that to her own daughter,,i wish i could say just forget it but i know you cant,,,i really hope your ok hunni ,,thinking of you lots x~x~x
CommentAuthorstranger23
Yer im ok feeling a bit tearful i didnt expect her to be quite as blunt about it and would have thought about it first. I cant afford to buy tickets for us to go over or for her to come over here we are paying for the whole wedding ourselves and also need to get our car fixed and got birthdays to pay for while were trying to save for the wedding
CommentAuthorGeordie_Nikki
Your mam should have put you first before her bloke!
As fiddles said, at least you tried. Just focus on your big day and your kids for now, hopefully she'll have a good thinkg and change her mind
CommentAuthorsbride
Im sorry to hear that, it must be very hard for u x
I am now Mrs Stacey Stiles and loving it!
CommentAuthorJoneseygal
Did she not suggest that she/they might think about coming to see you to sort it out? Surely it's easier for them to come to you than for you, with 2 kids, to travel over there. Plus, you are saving for your wedding!!!
It must be tough for you at the moment and I'm sure I can't even begin to imagine how you feel about it but you can't have the worry of him starting a fight or anything at the wedding. Do you think that she might come round at all and decide to come on her own nearer the time?
Thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs xxx
CommentAuthorCeCe
IMO IF your Mum was that ar sed re sorting it out she would have come over to you lonnnnnnnnnnng ago...it is a damn sight easier for her to travel (kid free) than you. I Quite agree with you...WHY would you put all of you into the 'Lions Den' AGAIN .. her man is violent, you don't want or need yourself let alone your kids near him...and to be frank your Mother shouldn't either!!!
I know you are gonna feel like crap right now..but, you have to look after your family..and thats what youve done. So, be pleased with yourself. Your day will be wonderful and your Mother is the one whom will have to live with missing out on it because of another dubious bloke.
CommentAuthorohfiddles
very well put CeCe xx
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
I completly agree with ur feelings on this matter! If I had kids i certainly wouldnt want to put them in a violent situation. And im afraid that if ur mum cant see past her fella then maybe she shudnt be at ur wedding anyways. Its meant to be the happiest day of ur life and u dont want the worry of a fight breaking owt! U neva kno she may come to her senses - but if she doesnt remember every single guest at ur wedding will love and support you! xxx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorMrs Rebecca Hossfeld
Hun I can completely understand why you would not want her fella there, I told my mum if she gets back with her ex-hubby (long story but do have a thread about it somewhere) she could forget ever thinking about bringing him to our wedding.
I know we all want our parents to be happy, but no matter what a parent's priorities should lie with their children or at least that is my belief anyways.
I hope it all works out for you hun & I hope she will come & be part of your day but just think it will be her that will miss out if she chooses not to & you will still have a great day because it's the day you marry the man you love :D
*hugs* I'm so sorry my darling, I can't imagine how tough this must be for you :( I can't believe she didn't put you first just this once, as a mum myself I can't understand how anyone could do that to their child.
Sounds like you're better off without though, for starters I wouldn't dare expect my child to put their children in a violent situation because I'm too selfish to sort things out off my own a rse - that in itself tells me what sort of person she is :(
My love is with you and I hope you feel better about it soon xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorstranger23
Thank you girls its nice to know im not just being selfish on this one, i will say he is only violent towards men would never hurt my mum, i know he isnt the nicest person but i also dont want people thinking he could beat my mum also if he tried i would kill him myself as my mum had enough of that from my dad. lalabunni your all welcome to come to the reception as it isnt as such were going clubbing so everyone is invited :) our mates make the clubbing events (infexion) that go across the country and there going to make our wedding into an event :)
Im not sure they might charge you for it as your not sleeping with the close friend of a friend who knows them lol but then again they all love to party so they probably would :)
CommentAuthorRebecca
aww honey *hugs* i can't believe that she'd be like that. i can understand she might be upset but you're her DAUGHTER!!! i can sooo understand why you don't want to go over there and i'm lost for words really. sorry honey x
CommentAuthorweevicki
oh sending you lots of hugs x
CommentAuthorWren
I'm in kinda the same situation. My mum is kicking off about me not inviting her partner to the ceremony (but i have invited him to the reception) As i explained to my mum, there are several reasons why i didnt invite him. I dont like him that much cus hes messed her around (I havent told her that) Hes not my dad (Who passed away 8 yrs ago) and cus of that i dont want my H2B's side of the family to think he is. we only have a certain amount of people who can fit into where we having the ceremony. We had all of the close family put down first but Its not like i've been unfair. I havent invited my sister's fiance as there physically isnt room for him. Now shes saying that she might not come.
CommentAuthorstranger23
Its hard to think of your mum not coming to your wedding isnt it, as i said to my partner ive been planning this day for years long before i was even engaged and i always thought my mum would be there, i was really upset when she first said she wasnt coming but im getting used to the idea that only my sister will be there from my side of the family at least she will come, we wanted to have all our friends at the reception part of it as then we can be normal, my family dont like going out and getting hammered so when im with them i tend to go back to the good school girl pretence so at least i can act like me if my family isnt there.
