We'll be having. A budget wedding as we are trying to save to either buy our first home or open a business, I was just wondering if it's really bad to ask the bridesmaids to either pay for their dresses or to give a limit and say if they want anything higher they have to pay the rest? I'm happy for them not to wear the same dress as long as they wear the same colour, I'd like them to have a dress that they would wear again so it doesn't feel like any money has been wasted.
CommentAuthorBeckyU98
edited
i think its fine for you to ask but you need to make it clear from the start when you ask them to be bridesmaids though really cus otherwise you are kind of forcing them into buying them. you can get dresses really cheap these days especially if you look on the bay. so maybe you can say i can only afford dresses for like £30 each but if you guys want better ones or cant find one for that amount can they put some towards it x
however you also need to think about shoes hair makeup and dress alterations so dont make them get expensive ones and make sure they are aware of all the cost involved before they start buying themselves expensive dresses. maybe you can suggest some nice dresses online that are within your budget and say you an have something like this or if you want something more expensive then can you put extra x
CommentAuthorCJGroove
edited
My bridesmaids are buying their own dresses (i'm having 7 of them!) and they're delighted! My wedding is Rockabilly/5o's themed so the dresses the girls are having are nautical swing dresses that they'll be able to keep :) I think it's fairly common to ask them to buy them, as long as they're not hundreds of pounds!
CommentAuthorBeckieT42
Thanks I will make it clear how much I can afford when I ask them
CommentAuthorMelissaLarner2b
I bought my BM's dresses from the bay and there Alfie Angel0!! I got 3 for £100 and only need 2 but I'm gonna need the third for alterations on one of the dresses, i have asked the girls if they would buy there own shoes and they didn't mind at all. If your comfortable asking them and tell them basically what you have told us I'm sure they won't mind. Some people believe you should buy them but everyone's different and have there own opinions. Maybe if you can contribute a little money to them! :)
Like others have said Its fine aslong as they know from the beginning, my bms are buying there own and knew from before I even asked them, one is my cousin and I was bm for her and my mum paid for my dress for her wedding inc shoes and alterations. So for our family its the done thing, im not planning on picking anything to pricey either!
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorbarbie86
I think giving a budget is fine; that way they know what you can afford, and if they choose to go with something more expensive, that's entirely their choice. Just make sure that they will definitely be able to get something within that budget eg if you want, say, a floor-length gown in a specific colour, you need to make sure they can get that within the budget you've given (does that make sense?)
When it comes to not contributing at all, again I think this is OK in some situations eg if you are asking them to wear, say, a black dress, which almost every woman owns, as that way they don't need to go out and buy something. But if it would involve them having to buy something specific, then it wouldn't be OK IMO.
CommentAuthorkatielea100
Yes I wouldn't expect my bridesmaids to buy their own dresses I'm on a budget but that's why I'm only having 3 bridesmaids and their dresses will be from highstreet for around £50 each After watching DTTB the other night and how they reacted when he wanted them to put £80 towards their dresses they weren't too happy x
CommentAuthorbeximo86
I offered to pay for my bridesmaid dresses but they won't let me! They are paying for their dresses but I am getting their hair/make-up/shoes and I've offered to pay for alterations but they are on about paying for those themselves too. I think if you are upfront with them there's nothing wrong with asking. As for the DTTB I would have been peeved too after paying for the hen and then having to pay more than expected when I arrived. To have to pay £80 without knowing about it is pretty naff. And then having to pay for their hair/make up too on the day! As I said I think being honest and upfront with them about it will (hopefully) reduce any unhappiness x
CommentAuthorFernP61
I dont think its wrong to ask to chip in for them xx
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
I think with dttb, when he got given that massive budget, and then the bms had to pay for everything from the hen, the hotel , then the dresses he was out of order, If I had 12,000 I would pay for my bms, but I don't I have about 6000
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorMrsX2b
Im renting my 3 bridesmaids dresses, I would not ask them to pay as i have asked them to be bridesmaids. If someone asked me to be a bridesmaid i would not want to then have to spend money on a dress, As i would already be paying for my part of the hen night, drinks all night at the wedding, a room for the wedding night, Present for the couple. I went to a family wedding and my partner was a usher he was then told the suit was £70 to hire, He brought new shoes as he didnt have any so £20 then the couple had 2 hen/stag do's, first was away from home. We both had to say we wont be going as each of the breaks cost £350. Then they had one in town for people who couldnt go to the other one. We spent about £150. Then our hotel room for the night cost £120, We spent easy £100 on drinks. We gave £80 for a gift on the day. so appox £540. If we had gone on the first do as well then appox £1240 so i just think it can work out so much all ready for some one elses wedding day. We are saving for our own wedding so have to be careful as well. Another wedding we went to i was bridesmaid and h2b was a usher, our outfits was all paid for, make up shoes and our hotel room for the night was also paid for. I think every one is different so its up to you to decide, See what you think your wedding will cost them already if you think its not much then ask them to pay for dresses as well.
CommentAuthorJoanna
We only had a small budget for our wedding and we still paid for the bridesmaids dresses. In my personal opinion, if you want someone to be your bridesmaid for your wedding, you should pay for their dress. I think it's okay to ask them to get their own shoes, accessories and hair/make up as long as you have provided the dress.
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
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CommentAuthorLauraK7
I'm only having my daughter but if I had others I would pay for their dresses too if I had asked them If there had been a fuss and people wanted so and so then I think it's ok to ask them to pay x
CommentAuthorAna40
Personally I think that if I'm asking someone to do something for me they shouldn't be out of pocket. But I suppose if you tell them straight away they have the opportunity to accept or decline. X
CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
my girls have been told i will pay £150 towards each dress. if they like and agree on a more expensive dress andthey want to pay extra thats up to them xx
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
As long as they are aware that they have to pay and you aren't dictating to them what dress or type of dress they have to have then I don't see a problem with it xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthor~Beauty&TheBeast2Be~
I have 7 Bridesmaids, on a budget wedding. They are all family except my 2 besties. However i wouldn't dream of asking them to pay for there own dress. Especially if they are family, my parents are helping with other things so i wouldn't dare ask sisters for money. But that's my personal opinion.
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CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
We have just bought a house so as you can imagine our budget is very low but I did buy my BM dresses (having 3), they are high street dresses and cost £60 each but they love them!
I asked them to buy their own shoes though, they've all bought the same shoes so they're all matching which is so lovely of them, they also bought them in the sale which is an extra bargain as the shoes originally cost doublt what the dress cost!
Just got to buy their accesories now but the great thing is, it's xmas so all the clutches etc are sparkley so i'll be having lots of fun in the january sales picking up sparkly bargains! And hopefully some gorgey dresses for flower girls xx
