Hey all, Sorry this is a little depressing, I'm considering calling the whole thing off, when we got engaged i was excited and could'nt wait to start planning, but now all the excitement is dissapearing and i hate it! My H2B (who i absolutley adore) keeps saying im planning too early. In a way i suppose he's right as there isn't really much we can do at the moment! My Grandad had me in tears this afternoon because He was saying that im stupid for worrying about the wedding as its pointless....i was absolutley gutted. People are already telling me when and where i should get married. I have no theme, i don't seem to be getting anywhere with venues/places to hold the party. All we have decided on is the fact that we are doing the food ourselves for £150 and thats about it. It just feels like we are never going to be able to afford it. Do you think im being unreasonable by considering to call it off?? It just seems like im going to be banging my head against a brick wall. I'm fed up of crying about it and its 24 months away.
CommentAuthorShellster90
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Aww.. I'd have another talk with the H2B and tell him what's on your mind. I had the same thoughts your having now when I first started planning.. all it took was a good talk with the H2B everything off my chest and I've not thought about it since :) Just think of it this way.. yes you may be stuggling looking for a venue but least you have the advatage of not getting married right now so you have time to think about it properly.. check many places out and find something that you both really love and don't just have to settle for. Your Grandad might be slightly old fashioned and not realise how different weddings are these days. I've been thinking weddings since I was 16 way before I even knew I was actually going to be getting married.. it's just in our womans nature. And now you know you are getting married.. you have set a date no one can blame you or put you down for planning away.. it's normal :D :D I wouldn't call anything off till you've properly spoken to your H2B and see how he feels :) That's just my opinion hun xx
CommentAuthorAmanda
i was like that when i told my family at xmas that we were getting married this september, non of them are interested my bridesmaid doesnt like the colour, mam said my flowers were dull and drab, h2b got sick of bitching and said we were not inviting anyone but i want a wedding day, its been a nightmare from the start, i get so stressed which is why i havent been on here for what feels like weeks. i bought a dress and changed my mind about it, non of the family will let it drop, my sister keeps sending me messages telling me not to look in wedding mags incase i change my mind again, yeah let it go it was yesterdays news, like no one else ever made a mistake. i really was looking forward to my wedding until the family had other ideas, why cant people just be happy for us instead of running us down.
CommentAuthorShellster90
Just remember it's your day hun!! You have the way you like and everybody else can get over it lol! All they need to do is smile... everybodies ideas arn't the same as others but families need to respect that it's your day whether they like things or not. You do thats the main thing. xx
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
Thats the exact same question that keeps going through my mind amanda xx. Thanks shell i'll try and have a word....when he's not playing the x-box :0) xx
Lol my H2B is a PS3 man lol... it's broke at the min :O so i've had many words about the wedding lol...
Ooops the fuse may be taken out of the plug lol... Only Joking !! :D xx
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
Lol... he's totally addicted ive often thought about throwing it out the window!! xx
CommentAuthorHannahJayne
The x-box dont get me started on that thing it drives me nuts; i dont get a word out of him when playing fifa etc, he may aswell marry the bloomin thing! Boys and their toys ey ;) xxx
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
Hannah i know exactly where you're coming from only my H2B is on final fantasy 13 or COD modern warfare does my nut! xx
CommentAuthorShellster90
Lol your right HannahJayne.. Fifa lol... jesus
I don't mind it 2bh.. sometimes I even play along :D xx
CommentAuthorbridetobe1990
dont worry yourself to much. ideas for themes and things will come when the ball really gets rolling. when my H2B proposed he told me he wanted to get married next summer. it gives me 13 months to plan everything and ive started and everyone tells me i have plenty of time. please hun calm down and really think about things. maybe a break from wedding talk for now will do you some good. just enjoy life atm. go out and carry on. you have plenty of time to think of ideas and plenty of time to look around at venues and packages before making any decisions. take care i hope things work out xx
CommentAuthorHeidi
Hey huni. im really new into planning too, me and my H2B got engaged in Nov and have set our wedding date sept 2011, so nearly too years off. We started looking for venues straight away and I was really upset myself a month ago as no where id seen was right, or was too expensive plus both are parents are re married so we had all family conflics 2weeks after being engaged, It dose sometimes get you down, you know it feels like.. this is supposed to be my day and I have to considor every1 else before me but the great thing you have is time on your side, once youve found a venue (and you will) photographer is best to go for next then you have the fun part of table decorations, music choices and making favour boxes etc with ur bridesmaids. I never thought i would find my ''perfect wedding venue'' to suit our budget, but you have to remember the day is about you two making your commintment to each other, have a chat to ur H2B and you'll prob feel a little better. Oh when I told my nan and grandad about the wedding (quite old fashioned and not into big partys) they said they had already a weekend away booked for sept next year so they might just come for the sit down meal and shoot off!x lol I agree with shell i think grand parents are old fashioned when it comes to weddings and forget times have changed.x hope that helps x
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
Thankyou bridetobe i guess i probably am getting a little bit hysterical but im so worried nothing is going to get done and that we won't get the date that we want. I think i will take your advice and have a break from weddings. Thankyou again and thankyou to you shell you have helped me with many questions i have had. you're all so lovely :0) xx
CommentAuthorShellster90
Your so welcome hun!! I'm here all the time lol whenever you need :) Are you on facebook hun?? xx
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
Thankyou heidi. :0) It does help. Everybody's making me feel so much better, its just so disheartening when everything seems to be going wrong all at once! xxx
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
yes shell im on facebook. Can we post email adresses on the forum or does it have to be wall posts? x
CommentAuthorvintage lass
Sounds like youve got yourself into one hell of a panic chick!!!! First of all..if you love your fiance, marry him! Words of advice are stop worrying about themes, other people etc that will all fall into place as you plan and the date gets closer. In total I will be engaged for 2 1/2 years when I eventually tie the knot and can understand where your coming from as I too found it difficult to plan at the initial stages. I didnt worry too much chick or else Id have driven myself (family, friends and h2b) round the bend! Try to enjoy your time together and enjoy planning your big day! You take your time, enjoy and make good plans....:)xxxx
Thankyou vintage lass :0) everybodys advice/opinions are really putting things into perspective for me... maybe i am going just a tad crazy about the whole wedding thing! I can't thankyou all enough i feel like a weight has been lifted just by letting off how i felt... and having people who understand and have listened xxx
Aww I'm glad you feel a little bit better hun!! xx
CommentAuthorohfiddles
Dont worry chick (butterflydreamer) my wedding has been put back about 4 times due to different reasons. one day it will just all click, not saying that it isnt hard work planning it though. Just remember its yours and your h2b's day dont worry what every1esle wants just do what you want!!! best of luck xxxx
CommentAuthorLucie
When ever i start getting stressed about it all my h2b says to me do you love me, do you still want to marry me both of which i can always say yes to so he tells me that's all that matters.
Like everyone else says it's what you want that matters. Maybe have a look at getting married abroad where it can be just you and anyone who wants to come. Go to the wedding fairs and see what you like. I think the hardest decision is knowing what you want!
A theme will come to you in time. Maybe think about the things you like and what your favourite colours are. My theme's going to be blue and silver and daisies. Blue is my favourite colour and i like silver plus it goes nicely (helps that blue was also his football team colour so he's happy!). I love daisies so am going to have daisys on my invites and as table confetti and as my flowers hopefully. The little details i can do - the big details freak me out! You dont have to have a big theme and people probably wont notice anyway really (though i was very tempted yesterday to have a Tim Burton theme with each table being a different film!)
At the end of the day your family love you and just want things to be perfect for you - even if it doesnt seem that way at the moment!
x
CommentAuthorWawa
lol xbox i agree throw it out the bloody window, he talks to everyone but me, i dont mind so much now i got you girls to chat to whilst hes on it. (like doing now hes on xbox and im on here planning wedding stuff. butterfly dreamer im getting its too early to start planning things now and im getting married in 15months. its always god to get booking things i already struggled to get cars, venues etc due to others already booking them had to get my finger out lol. i have had to go to peterborough to get my car i so desperately want. its that bad h2b not interested in planning yet im doing it with my mum and his mum its great coz we all meet up and have a girly day its brill. hope your ok hunni keep your chin up
CommentAuthorKesha
my H2B is a ps3 man and it drives me crazy too!! However when hes on that, it keeps him quiet and I can happily plan away! I know what you mean though butterfly dreamer, we got engaged and had 18 months and it felt like we werent getting anywhere them! But then one day you wake up and you have 6 months to go and you realise you have nothing done! Take advantage of the time you have to view as many places as possible and look at as many things as you can. I wish I had looked aorund more, but I am happy with what we are having.
CommentAuthorDaffy
Hun I would have a look for a venue first, then get that booked and church/registra. Then I would take a break from it for 6 months - mine is less than 12 months away and i am only starting to book things in now. xx
Daffy
CommentAuthorShellster90
Oooh Lucie.. I'm having the same colour theme as you :D
CommentAuthorKizzy81
Just remember it's all about you and your H2B. Other people can have opinions, suggestions etc but at the end of the day they're your decisions and no one should pressure you into a single element that you're not happy with it.
We only got engaged in December and will be married in 5 and a half months - it doesn't take that long to organise, but it takes time to work out what you want and get the money together for it. Enjoy it - I've loved every second of it. x
CommentAuthorlayla24
Hey hun, sorry to hear you are feeling like this. I had a period like this and just spend a week and a half away from thinking about weddings and came back to it when i felt like i had a fresh head. I have made a wedding scrapbook which has helped me with a few choices. I gathered all my choices for venues and the information and then did pro's and con's and in the end me and h2b decided on the best price which turned out both our favourates.
Tell bridesmaids if they dont like what you have chosen then do be a bridesmaid, im gonna be bridesmaid for my sister in law to be next year and i really dont like her choice of colour but i would never tell her as its her big day and her vision of what her wedding is gonna look like.
Just tell them if everyone had the same taste then all weddings would be the same and not your own ideas.
Hope you feel better soon hun x
CommentAuthorshellay
i dont have a theme, just a colour scheme, i am not getting married for 16 months but know exactly what i want, search the internet and see what you like, you dont have to tell anyone how much you are sorting out, make up your mind what you want and then discuss it with him, my h2b has left everything to me, it isnt that he isnt interested, he just doesnt know how to be helpful, thats what i tell myself anyway, but i have sorted everything out with the exception of the cake, and sorting out the suits, but i know what i want jsut need h2b to come with me to try them on, it didnt take me very long to sort through things, i have been buying bits and pieces from ebay as well so that it doesnt all cost at once. you will get there once you get your thinking cap on and it will soon be sorted. do not stress its not good for you x
I have know my soulmate for 27 years and on the 6th August
I married him and became Mrs Garnham.
It was most definitely the happiest day of my life.
I love married life !!!!
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
Thankyou all so much for the support you have given me.... i have decided i'm going to relax a little bit and try not to get on my H2B's nerves by talking about weddings every 5 mins!! (ok so i wasn't that bad but he said i was lol ). you have all been so helpful. i am going to take note of your opinions and suggestions and hopefully things will come together! thankyou again xxx
CommentAuthorCupCake
Everyone has said it all ... just wanted to add ... we are not marrying "the day", but the love of our lives .. when and how you do this should be of little consequence ... the rest of our lives joined as one is the most important thing ... how you get there is not babe. Relax, focus, enjoy .... (( hugs )) xx
Became Mrs Lyons 30th July 2011 x
CommentAuthorDaffy
If you want to talk weddings come here and talk to us. x
Daffy
CommentAuthormrsquinn2b
Hi. everyone keeps telling me and my H2B that were planning to early as well, but unless they are in the same position they don't know how much needs to be done and how hard it can be to find the right venue etc. the most important thing is not to stress and get your self upset about it, it's your's and your H2B day, do what you want.
hope you feel better about it all soon x x
CommentAuthorSuzi
As far as im concerned the earlier it is booked the longer you have to pay for it! Of course you could all leave it to the last minute then run out of money. So the earlier the better! I hope your feeling a little better now hun x x x x
Do not disturb... Already disturbed enough!
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
Thankyou cupcake ((hugs)) back :). thankyou also VIEathome_Daffy and tinkerbell. xx Will keep you posted how things are going when i feel a little better bout the whole thing. I may have to stop talking weddings but there is no way on earth i'd stop coming on here, you ladies are fab! The support is amazing, i wish i had friends as supportive as you all xx
CommentAuthorL JO
Awww hun you have got yourself in a pickle...hang in there you will find something is it just a place to hold the reception your after or somewhere to have the ceromony aswell?.Is it actually Ferndown you live I'm in Dorset nr Bridport I'll have a look and see if I can find anything that might help xx
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
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LJO i live just outside of ferndown (westmoors area). I'm unsure on where to get married, where to have the reception so i don't have to worry about people travelling and somewhere thats not going to cost the earth! It seems that when i find a venue theres nowhere to have reception vice versa i just seem to be hitting a dead end. thankyou very much for your support xx
CommentAuthorMrsB
sod everyone else i'm getting married in 30 months and already i have dress, venue,church, cake booked, bits of decoration, band, bm dresses in size 16s so can be down sized to fit ect and thats because the venue i booked had bookings for 4 years in advance! the cake shop had bookings for 2012 already and we put a date down for the band and he rang us saying 2 people wanted our date so we had to get the money in good side of have all these months to plan it can be near enough perfect no rushing can get first pick on dates usually can sometimes get it for this years price so its that little bit cheaper my ml thinks its funny i'm planning so early but why should i not i can have the wedding i wnt and be able to afford it because i no near enough how much its going to cost listen to noone but yourself its your day and if u wanna plan now do it!
Wow - I had to stop reading after so many but from the gist of what people are saying - I can only agree. I'm getting married in two and a half weeks. I started planning my wedding in January 2009 and had almost everything sorted by the April '09. I have lived and breathed this wedding and have stressed myself out unecessarily! Contact your local registrars and find out all of the civil locations registered to marry people (that's if you're not looking for a church wedding). Our original venue was booked in haste for it's easy location but I regretted it when I saw how run down it had become since the last time I was there. Fortunately, the council were looking to close the venue but would not say when, so I chose to change the venue and battled with the original one and got my deposit back. The registrars office told me a few places were newly registered and we have found a fantastic location where we can get married and have the reception. Then I found out there was to be a parade along the main street and cried my eyes out thinking that was going to cause major problems! To top it off, we were honeymooning in the Lakes and we got a phonecall in Feb telling us it was cancelled as they were flooded in November. Tears, tears and more tears. Then the problems started with the H2B's sister insisting she was going to make a speech at the reception - when we said no, I was villified by her and her two twenty something daughters. The excitement went out of my wedding just over 6 weeks before the date.
I am sitting here now, after a number of things going wrong, having put every spare moment into planning this wedding and do you know what? I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! I'm marrying the man I love in just over two weeks and I can't wait. I'm terrified of something going wrong or that I've forgot something but hey, I'm marrying a wonderful man on the 24th April 2010 and THAT is what matters - not the trimmings - the actual marriage!!!!!
So sit back, relax and just look around generally, If somewhere is too expensive, can you reduce the guest list, buy a dress in the sale etc etc etc. There are ways to make it work (especially if you try BHS in the Sales - I got my bridesmaid outfit for £22.50!!!!). Work out what parents can give you financially, work out what you can save and what you can borrow. Set your limit and work to 2/3 of it so the other 1/3 covers unexepected costs. Look at websites online for wedding favours, table decorations etc. There are good photographers out there for decent prices - just take time to look and don't stress.
I hope you eventually find planning your wedding as exciting as I have. The knocks along the way are just part of life, you learn to accept them, learn from them and make new arrangements.
I HOPE YOU HAVE YOUR DREAM WEDDING WHEN THE DAY ARRIVES! Good luck xxx
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
I can now relax.... I found my Venue for ceremony and reception... all at great prices too!! Thankyou all for your help and advice.... im extremly grateful for your support! Now to plan my dream wedding :) (I have actually started another discussion about this where i got so excited). I'm feeling soo much better and so much happier now... Even H2B is excited as im not being grumpy or sat in tears!! xxx
