I could not be without her but it gets me to discrimination against plus sizer. She's a size 28 to 30 and I don't want to get her an individual dress as I would like all me bridesmaids matching. On a slight rant too, all my other bridesmaids have offered to pay towards their dresses except her. I know she can't afford it but what do I do. Getting bespoke dresses for 4 bridesmaids is going to cost a fortune for me (150GBP each) otherwise, I could just get the others off the peg. We are on a real budget and want to try for a baby so I would rather spend the money on a future cot. Help!

id get them altogether and chat or if you feel too awkward create a scecret group on fb (if your all on it) and write in there..... xxx

Love it lilmiss, if the others are there too she might realise how much it is all going to cost xxx

Facebook group is a great idea. Ideally I want the girlies to choose a dress they all love (that I can afford) so they can have a mini dress ideas forum :) Brilliant xxx

Although you can't put a price on friendship :) Getting in touch with a seamstress. Not sure if that will be cheaper though but my girls have to be there..

Mmm, task for today :)

Yes, if I say 100GBP each then they can pay the difference though she might not go for that. I like the quality of the BHS dresses and I'm happy to pay for that (125GBP) but they are all quite small. I'm worried about the quality of internet dresses although you seem to get a lot for your money. Any experiences? xxx

Giving her a maximum price is a good way of doing it, but make it under what you're prepared to pay just in case she thinks it's okay to go a bit over! Expecting you to pay £200 is completely taking advantage of you!!

Maybe get the 3 bridesmaid dresses from the same shop and get fabric for the larger girl and have it made by a seamstress. she should be able to re-create the same dress. You could even send a picture and measurements to china/Ebay and they might be able to make it fairly cheap.

I see her point in not wanting to pay for her dress to be honest, but then if you buy her dress she doesn't have any input and certainly not choosing her own......having to spend so much on her just because she is a big girl.....well her weight is not your fault is it?
If you are paying then you choose the dress, and if the bridesmaids are paying then they choose them.....simples.

If you really want her, and you know you will have to pay for her dress, then really you should pay for them all.

I think you have 2 separate issues there - just because she's bigger doesnt necessarily mean the dress is going to be more expensive, the issue is finding a store that stocks the size. Why dont you try to find a store that has plus size bm dresses in, they might stock smaller sizes of the same dress?

The second issue is the price and contribution. Did your friend pick out the expensive dress before or after saying she couldnt justify contributing to a dress she wont wear again? Did she look at the price or was she pointing out dresses she liked to you? You dont need to feel under pressure - make it clear how much you can afford to spend and if your friend wants to be there for you she will be. May be worth getting some recommendations from the china dress thread here for cheaper, decent quality dresses x

I have internet dresses and their excellent at £65.00 each, I'll put the link on your wall x

It's hard when the girls arae unlikely to wear the dresses again and you're deciding on the colour etc.

I saw some nice ones on the bay that may be worth looking at - I don't know what the quality is like though.

Xbox widow - would you mind popping the link on my wall too please? ta.

xxx

have a look on bay of e they might have the dress ya wanting for the other in the plus size

Thanks ladies, 65GBP - perfect x

You can also get online compaines from china etc to make repluica dresses in whatever size you like quite cheap- but hard to know what quality/fit will be like. I think RaggedyAnne's idea of getting a seamstress to do hers is a good one.

Can recommend the link Xbox widow suggested!! I've bought from them before just for evening dresses, good value and service and lovely dresses, come up small though so order big! xx

What colour you going for hun? Our plus size bridesmaid has a dress we got off ebay for a reasonable price :)

Why dont you get them all different but the same colour then it will still look nice.

i could see if my MOH would be willing to sell her dress on.. its not a typical bridesmaid dress but it does the job.

my mate had a plus size she got the others from a shop then went to a bridal shop n they made her one close to match! she put wat other dress cost and lass rest

Personally as a plus size girl I would happily wear a slightly different dress in the same colour. It is common for the style of dresses to be different, as long as the colour matches I personally wouldnt care if the were different.
Things look completly different in different sizes and she may be completly uncomformtable in a dress that suits much smaller people :-)

Try looking on Simply B* for her x

ooh i dont envy u, i haven't sorted my bm's yet for that reason x

Hi Stacey,

Could you post a picky on my wall please?. Bit worried as might be to small for her. Thanks hon :) x

well im already havng probs!!!!!

OH sister is one of my 3 BM...she is already complaining and weve got 2 yrs to go!!!!! ive been looking at dresses to get style ideas, material and colour etc...
soooo.....i posted a couple of pix in our secret bookface group....my moh is having an ivory chiffon dress with navy sash and my other two r having navy chiffon with ivory sash etc.........
the ones i like are £169 which is out of the budget so am looking at the china ones and the bay etc........

however.....

Chris went over to see his parents the other night and he said to her had she seen the pix on fb and did she like it, she said yes but said she wants to try it on first b4 its paid for, slight problem with that if i buy from china! then she asked y was moh getting all different and special stuff, which shes not but anyhoo...chris told her straight that she is chief bridesmaid n basically said what amy says goes type of thing and his mum turned to her and said "you will wear what your told too, its chris and amys day...get on with it!" (yeay!) she then went on to say that the chief bm was usually different anyway.........so i think she sulked a bit.....
tbh i can see her moaning about the dress anyway but tough poops, she doesnt have to b a bm if she dont want to!!!!
o and thats a another thing...apparently she also said her and the other bm will look odd if theyre dfferent and like there not supposed to be there!!! because in dfferent colours...when really moh would look the most odd if anything......FFS! i wonder y she didnt approach me? lol x

O dear......

Ahhhh I feel all your frustration too!! Iv got two bridesmaids and one I have no problem with as she offered to pay for her dress and we've both got same taste and she's a size 12 so should be easy to find a dress but my other bridesmaid won't tell us her size even though we know she is a plus size but she is also only 5ft 1" but won't wear 3 quarter length dresses as she thinks there not right for her. Every dress I have picked out she hates. I found one on eBay and I really like it and it's affordable and it has a return policy if not right but she's not even willing to try it! Arghhhhh!!!!! X

Hi
will be keeping up with this.
Have 5 BM's size 8, 10, 16 22 and 24. 3 sisters 2 friends. found afew differnet styles of dresses that I liked not settled on that yet but settled on the colour turqouise.
I want them all matching so I told them we all had to agree on the best style, im paying and it is my big day so if the cant agree and put up with it for me for 1 day then they will just be guests and not part of the party.
xxxxx