Sorry girls but I really need to rant! My dad! If i can even call him that!!!
You know I have been to school, got all my GCSES!, went to college got my A Levels!! Went to University and got my degree nd not once has he said is he proud of me!! Sunday Night, he started on me for no reason what so ever! Apparently Im fat and a complete waster!! When I work full time busting my back side!!! He threw my prom picture at me from several years ago!! Saying Im fat nd disgusting now!! Ive put on a stone this year due to incredible stress of the death of my Uncle, Grandad and Nana.. who all died within the space of ten months!! He started on me again repeating himself and saying the same S*** over and over again!! My mum of course was defending me.. mum is my world!

But HIM!! I cannot call him my father!! I said I hated him and I said he was a complete and utter S*** father!!
Me and My mum went out yesterday for a nice girlie day and she hasnt been coping well since my Nana died in November and has only just returned to saninty.. she asked me how i was feeling and I completely broke down and she was sorry and like i said she has nothing to be sorry for! Obviously H2B has been there, and completely wants to knock my dad out, but I wont let him for obvious reasons! She said dad will always love me, I returned in saying I will never ever love him again, all I feel for him is anger and hatred!
I cannot understand what I have done wrong to deserve this from my 'father'. I have tried speaking to him and so has my mum and all he says is that he cant accept the fact Im grown up!.. There is only so many times you can use thi and treat your ONLY CHILD like complete and utter crap!! He has never been there for me, never supported me!

I just cannot understand!! I have never been a bad daughter! Ive never smoked, drank or taken drugs! Done well at education and I work and I never got pregnant! AM I MISSING SOMETHING!!

I completely give up with him and am completely lost!!!

Sorry girls, needed to get it out my system!! xxxxxx

:( sounds like you need a huge )))HUG((( i am so sorry your dad is being so nasty huni. if it helps my dad is a complete waste of space too and tbh i wish he would just get out of my life. he lies and is a complete let down. ive had enough. anyway enough about me....
don't take what your dad says to heart. is it that he is jealous? did he do well with education and his career???? big hugs huni here if you need a chat x

Well.. TotallyLovedUp... He didnt at all.. He works in London most of the time so I never see him really but when he is home I get this from him :( He cant see it, I was literally screaming and crying at him.. he showed no compassion or love, nothing :( xxx

awww big hugs hunny!!! is ure father maybe depressed or sumting?

Some people are just never ever happy :-(

(((HUGS)))

some people just can not show their emotions so maybe he is doing the opposite?! i would speak to him and say how hurt you are. i didnt speak to my dad for 5 years and then evuantually we had an honest talk and we have been fine for the last 5!

he is prob still grieving aswell over the losses which wont help the situation. can your mum talk to him for you and expalin how you are feeling so it will be easier when you do talk?

There's a saying - you always hurt the one you love.

I really do hope you both find peace though hunni xxxx

thats terrible. i have a dad who i could never be good enough for either :-( just think.....his loss! x

It's ok hon, you vent, you need to, clearly! Sometimes parents behave in such an unnatural manner and one in which we would not expect ourselves too. I tell my H2B parents are only human and we shouldn't expect them to be perfect but honestly they sometimes defy logic altogether!!! I once had stress couselling for work and she actually said to me that my issue with management at work actually stemmed back to me feeling that parents (well my Mother and Step Father and I guess later on, My Dad) were not behaving as they should. I have often felt like that! She also said that we expect unconditional love from our parents but that actually in reality nothing is unconditional and the only love that is, is what we give ourselves. It upset me a little at times to feel alone and only having myself to blame or help myself. However, it is kind of true. No matter what your father says or what he means or what excuse he gives for saying it, what you think is what counts. I am sure that he is lashing out at you because of some failing he sees in himself. You should be proud of who you are hon. x

hun i know its hard but please don't try and shut him out your life yet and get like him and get back with the insults!! i can't condone what he's said and he owes you a major apology ...but please dont walk away from your dad!!! he's your father whether you like it or not and brough you into this world !!! ...i lost my dad nearly 5 years ago he was only 52 i was only 19 and ive been a mess ever since cause you just dont know how long you got left with anyone..whether its ur parents, h2b, children etc ....i would have gave the world to have had my dad at my wedding and i guess im just sensitive when i see all the conflicts between child and father and the word "hate" being used!! it makes me sad !!!

give it a few days hun....go over and explain just how he's made you feel nad make sure he knows this and make sure he isn't suffering from some sort of depression or a case of losing you to ur h2b...or just being a plain a**!!! but please dont give up with at least givin him a chance to explain himself..if he wants to throw it back at you then fine! but at least you can say years down the line you tried xxxx

hmmm trish the never tell a real dad u hate him etc.... doesnt work for all ( not mine but h2b) he split wiv h2b mum he was 6 and sister 2 at first he took them and spent time wiv them after a year found naother woman got married adopted her 2 kids ( similar ages) and had frig all to dowiv h2b and his sister, dint even pay ( he is as now payin back pay through csa )

i can only say how i feel about it as obviously not my dad etc but for his dad to adopt and do everything wiv other kids and not bother with his own that deserves them words1

Well, I hated my Dad a lot when I was a teenager and in my early twenties. He said some horrible things and even hit me. I guess I probably said some horrible things to him, too!

It was around the time that he was made redundant, moved back to the UK after years abroad and he'd lost both his parents in the same year, so I think he really wasn't coping with all the loss and changes. I think he could see something was wrong for me (I was depressed and secretly self-harming), but didn't know what to do. He's always had a short fuse.

After he was verbally abusive and hit me when I was about 16, I left home that night and carried on going to college from my boyfriend's house until Mum apologised for him. (That was as good as I was going to get at the time!)

What i want to say is that for years I had a very distant relationship with him, but now I have a pretty good relationship with him. We've both worked hard at it. I have realised that he's quite a self-critical person, that he hates himself when he loses his temper like he did then and he has been helpful and loving in his own way recently. He has been a great help both financially and practically when we were buying a house. He has learned to be much more positive and generous, to praise me up.

I wish you all the best in having a better relationship with him. It took me a long time, though. I have also had a lot of counselling, which I can really recommend to anyone who is struggling.

true becca, my mum wasnt talkin to her mum wen she passed away! never get that back x

awww suppose his intentions were there if he apologised but still shouldnt have dragged it on!

dont phone him or bother with him for a week..give yourself some space and hopefully he will realise that he's a ar** to ya hun lol xx

It sounds like you have a wonderful supportive mum and a wonderful h2b hon. Don't beat yourself up over it, sometimes these things work themselves out. In the meantime you have people around you who know your worth hon. Let your dad come to you from now on. You obviously care because it hurts what he says to you and that's natural but let him know you love him but if he wants to be a part of your life then it's upto him but your not prepared to be insulted or degraded by him everytime you see him. Tell him if he can't show he cares and be nice then don't bother until he can, then it's in his court. In the meantime hon, rant as much as you want, us girls are here for you xx

You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. I think you need to stick to your guns on this way and just show him that he can't get away with talking to you like that. He may be your dad but that doesn't give him the right to talk to you like you are a piece of dirt that just walked in. He needs to learn some manners and respect or he will lose his daughter forever. Big hugs to you hun. x x x