1) STOP NAGGING, STOP SHOUTING
I was a nag. About the screwed up tissues, the towels on the floor, taking too long in the bathroom. You name it, I was there nagging.
I felt Scott's behaviour had forced me to whinge and complain. But, animal trainers don't nag and, most of the time, they don't even correct bad behaviour - they have an approach called 'gentling' or 'affection training' which means rewarding the behaviour they like and disregarding what they don't like.
Nagging and shouting doesn't work. I'd done it for years and Scott was still messy, forgetful and always late. We humans assume that pointing out what we don't want makes clear what we do desire.
Punishment tends to have nasty side-effects such as apathy, fear and aggression. None of these are conducive to learning. A scared or raging animal does not make a good student.

3) IGNORE BAD BEHAVIOUR
Forget arguing about the mess your partner makes every time he cooks, or the way he leaves his smelly socks strewn around the bedroom.
Perhaps the most important lesson I learnt from the animal trainers I met is that, rather than punish or draw attention to behaviour you don't like, you should simply ignore it.
The idea is that any response, positive or negative, fuels a behaviour. If a behaviour provokes no response at all, it typically dies away.
So, when my dear husband was - yet again - tearing around our house in a bad-tempered, last-minute search for his keys, instead of stopping what I was doing to help him find them and try to calm him down, this time I said absolutely nothing, ignored his tantrum and carried on with the washing up.
It took a lot of discipline, but the results were immediate. He looked for them himself and found the keys. Without my attention, his temper fell far shy of its usual pitch and then waned like a fast moving storm. I was tempted to throw him a bone.

5) LURING AND BAITING
Luring is a way of saying: 'You will get this, but only if you do that'. A reward is promised for performing a task. Trainers have used it for centuries. A common way to teach a dog to sit is to hold a tasty morsel right over its head which prompts him to put his bottom on the floor.
Now, some trainers aren't keen on luring, as they think it gives the animal a chance to decide in advance whether the treat is big enough or not. The gamble is that the animal may hold out on you.
I am all for luring husbands, but you must judge if yours will think the prize is worth the bother.

I once lured Scott to Ikea on a Saturday with the promise of a plateful of their Swedish meatballs in the restaurant afterwards. It only worked once - he decided the scrum of shoppers wasn't worth the tasty treat.
But his favourite meal cooked and served at the dining room table will always get him away from the TV and off the sofa.

7) DON'T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
As humans, we tend to project all kinds of human characteristics, motivations and talents on to animals. We assume the dog chewed our new pair of Ugg boots out of spite. He didn't.
Projecting human feelings and characteristics on to an animal can lead to bad training decisions - so if you're going to think like an animal trainer, you need to keep a cool head and not take the other people's actions so personally.
Previously, I'd see yet another pile of Scott's sweaty cycling clothes left on the bathroom floor as an affront to me, a symbol of how he didn't care enough about my feelings. Now, in animal trainer mode, I considered Scott's behaviour with a cooler head.
He left his smelly cycling shorts on the bathroom floor not because he didn't love me, but because it was simply convenient.
He has a bad memory and a worse sense of smell - it wasn't meant as a personal affront to me, and wasn't worth rowing about.
Not taking your partner's actions personally is liberating, but no easy task. I realised that I, like many mates, took way too much personally - and often saw offence where none was intended.

9) PICK YOUR MOMENT
Trainers never try to teach an animal when it's having an off day.
Unfortunately, when it comes to relationships, we often pick the worst moment, say, when someone is frantic over a lost pet, wallet or pay cheque to drive home a point - 'If you just used a lead, kept track of your stuff or deposited the cheque like I told you, this wouldn't have happened!'
Or we try to tackle a problem when we've got PMS or are feeling stressed about something.
We may mean well, but a point made in this way will typically fall on deaf ears and may even provoke an angry swipe.
People, like animals, aren't wired to learn or teach lessons when they're out of sorts.
Instead, be sure to choose a time to 'train' your partner when you are both feeling calm and in a good mood.

there is a link on my wall for more ideas ,,,, happy training

I love this lala i want to try this i wonder if it works as reading that reminded me off times when hubby gets upset or mad if i correct him or show him my way I always manage to tell him what he has doen wrong not what he has done rigth it is very true i need to work on good boy and ignore bad behaviour and not to take things personally
reading this opened my mind and my eyes and makes me think not to mention gave me the giggles

Hahaha LOVE this!!! Xx

Hahaha! Was this for my benefit after my rant on Monday?

I knew you would like this Tracey lol lol .....

This is brilliant!

Love it :)

would love hear if you have tried any of the points and if they have any effects

Haha love this x

Ha ha ha love it

I've learnt to plant seeds of what I want to do and then he comes up with the "idea" and is pleased as punch that he has come up with the brilliant thing lol

This thread is genius <3 something tells me I've picked a challenging one to train .. Living together 2 years and still not learning! Is there any hope lol

Nope! Haha, we've lived together 6 years now and he still wont learn lol x

The dishwasher is one of many downfalls of oh.. As well as his inability to put clothes in the washing basket lol

More recently the most disgusting is the smell of men's urine in the bathroom I deep clean it every week and did it Sunday but when I got in today and nipped into the bathroom I could smell grime really strong! We use bl00 tablets in the toilet so it shouldn't be the toilet water but I've bleached it just in case .. I'm now wondering if he's peeing while in the shower and maybe the pipe is partially blocked .. Ill kill him if this is the case .. Totally gross .. Sure I've got some form of ocd because I have to have the house perfect but even the dirtiest of people wouldn't put up with the stench of wee!

Nah it's a black wood effect lino that is brand new .. It's definitely the smell of human wee not dog wee. I told him tonight that I could smell Urine really bad so hopefully whatever he's been doing in there that will have embarrassed him that i can smell it and he'll stop!

Hopefully he will stop- either that or he's got some sort of urine infection and it's a trip to Drs? I wonder what he's doing?

I wonder if men have a similar forum and moan about us lol!

Sometimes they just don't see how lucky they are although my hubby does tell me he's lucky having me. Think he says it to cheer me up.

Ditto lol

Mine does all the vacuum cleaning, was part of the deal lol as I do all the bathrooms and kitchen and most of the laundry, changing sheets and cooking.