Hi everyone, Firstly i'd like to point out this is my first post, so not too sure how this works. Secondly any comments would be much appreciated.
Basically I thought I'd be saving myself a lot of bother by telling my bridesmaids to find dresses and shoes they want then to inform me so i can purchase them, however this is turning into a nightmare! :0( They all agreed on knee length dresses on the first meeting ( apart from one , who isn't even the maid of honor so should she have a different dress?) only to change to wanting long ones at the second.
I told them i didn't want proper bridesmaid dresses as from my own experience bridesmaid dresses just gather dust for five years following a wedding before you end up throwing them out. My plan was to get really nice occasion dresses that could then be worn again by them, but they're all looking at proper bridesmaids dresses.
I don't want to seem tight fisted, but since it's costing me over £1000 for the six of them ( for hair, make up, facinators, shoes, gifts etc) I thought around £90 would be more than enough per person for a nice dress or am i being tight? :0$
Has anyone else? and would it be reasonable? for me to just go and pick and buy the dresses myself ? or am i asking for trouble? x x x x x x x
CommentAuthorJEm1905
You are not being tight. We are only having one bridemaid her dress was costing us £30 but have since found a nicer one for £16. Like you its a not a typical BM dress but a occasional dress she can wear until it fades lol.
I believe if your paying you should have control of it but with some input form them. If they do cause hassle over a dress they only have to wear for a few hours i would be reconsidering having them play a big part in my day.
Got together - 19th May 2009
Our Civil Partnership - 19th May 2012
Waiting to re-Marry my Princess Legally
CommentAuthorMrsT2Be
Hi!
Well I am picking my bridemaiddress's... whether they like it or not lol, I agree on not getting 'propper' bridesmaid dress's though, from what ive seen there soooo over priced! Maybe get a few options andlet them pick from them? xx
Our princess was Born 07/06/09
He proposed...I said yes! 27/10/10
Graduate then....
We become the Taylors and I marry my best friend! 4/10/14
CommentAuthormillwalljayne
It isnt tightfisted of you at all - £1000 for six people is a good old bit of money! What about if you choose the dress, so it stays within your budget - but let them buy their own accessories/fascinator/shoes/hair and makeup? Or the other way round. In my opinion if they want to choose their own dresses then they should really be willing to pay for them - or at least contribute something.
None of my BMs have been able to agree on a dress and they've had over a year, so now they just get a basic choice of either long red or knee length blue (I'm having a Union Jack/Fire and Ice theme, so three in each colour shouldnt look too odd I hope!)
.."She'll promise you more than the Garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while your bleeding
But she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself 'cos she's always a woman to me.."
CommentAuthorFutureMrsPite
its nice of u to let them all pick their own dresses but with that in mind they r all prob unsure about what exactly they r looking for and r maybe going for the typical bridesmaid dress as the safe option. i would let them make their own choice but give them guidelines, such as the price, it has to be £90 or lower, second it has to be a certain colour?, 3rd a certain material/length?? however u do it give them as much info as u can to what u would like but also enough space for them to search and find one themselves that suits them. Me personally i think its nice to have bridesmaids looking unique but matching at the same time, such as different length dresses and styles but in a matching colour? or the same style dress but in different colours? good luck with it and at the end of the day, it is ur wedding and ur paying so they should be happy with that really! x
My bms pay for their own dresses but also not expensive ones - they have a brief which they will follow but I don't want exactly matched bms. Shoes they can wear old ones if they already have them - I'm not bothered about the style as long as they are roughly the right colour.
I will resonsible for their hair but I'm going to ask them if they have special wishes - I 'dictate' the overall style but not the finer details. But again I don't want them totally matched - that helps ofc.
It’s so great to find that one special person
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CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
Babe i thought exactly the same thing ... i wasn`t going to pay for dresses that just sat there afterwards ( esp as my bm`s are my daughters) i ended up buying dresses that cost me just £35 each ... the girls love them and have already said they will be wearing them at other events ... i think my youngest will adapt hers for her prom but at that price i really dont mind
i have also bought side tireas that we are adding flowers to for £5 each...shoes came to £20 each ..... so you could easily sort your bridesmaids for well under that £1000.
with gifts each one of my girls is costing £170 BUT that is only because they are all having Tiffany necklaces as presents
I don't think your being unreasonable at all. They should be able to get a very nice dress for that. Stand your ground, it's your wedding and your photo's they will be in.
CommentAuthorHeLz
I had the same problem to start with. I decided to let my three older bridesmaids choose their own style (i was just going to choose the colour) but it turned out awfully! There were arguments the lot... Soo I've decided to just go ahead and get them all made, all the same. They've lost their freedom now! X
CommentAuthorsuzky123
I brought my dresses for 300 each as I wanted typical BM dresses. The wedding is very traditional and I knew I couldnt expect BM to pay that much and also I wanted them to wear what I wanted but did give them a lot of input but made it clear the decision is mine. They are paying for jewellry and hair pieces so again have a lot of say but it has been made clear the overall decision is mine. They are also in matching shoes so it does not look odd. Only the MOH should stand out and I am a firm believer that you have put so much work into the rest of the wedding, the BM need to match the rest of your hard work.
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorsuzky123
debenhams may have some good offers on some occasion wear that looks similar to a BM dress but isnt and are more likely to be worn again.
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
Helz I saw a wedding on a blog yesterday that matches you flower wedding - all bms had beautiful short dresses made from a floral pastel blue Laura Ashley fabric. Looked really lovely.
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorKiki1993
It is not tight fisted! And if your are i must be too the extreme! haha Im just buying my sisters dress, she has too many shoes and loads that are red so would match my theme anyway ..a part from that I will get her hair and make up done with me .... my best friend is a bridesmaid too, she might get full gown or half but check online? You get fantastic deals and can tailor order them sometimes so would save a lot of money x
CommentAuthorShirleygirly
I am buying my BMs dresses, shoes and tiaras plus paying for them to have their hair done. They'll wear what I say and it will be something of a high street stores hanger. I'm not going to let them look stupid but with 5 of them it would be too risky to let them have input with all their different tastes and ideas. At the end of the day it's my wedding and if they don't like it they can always give up the bm role. x
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CommentAuthorsuzky123
here here haha! I agree
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorMrsSaraParry!
that is not tight at all!! My bridesmaids paid for their own dresses but I still chose them - they did get a say but they all like the one I picked so we were ok. We did the same as you want to do - we got ours from Debenhams for just under £60 each and I think they're gorgeous. The best thing about them is that they can be worn again as they're just nice cocktail style dresses (pics are in my album if you want a nosey). I've chosen a simple hairstyle for them that they all liked so it gives them the option of having it done at a salon or doing it themselves - my sister and best friend are doing their own as they're confident to do it, not sure about the others. They're doing their own make-up and they bought their own shoes, in fact all I've bought for them is their jewellery (as a gift) and their fascinator. If you're being so generous that you're paying for everything, you should definitely get to choose what they wear and I wouldn't take any cr*p from them about the dress not being a 'proper' bridesmaids dress - I don't know about you but I actually prefer the evening/cocktail dresses to 'proper' ones anyway :o) xxxxxxx
CommentAuthorHeLz
Bossy, what blog was that? X
CommentAuthorLittleMissBossy
Rock'n'Roll bride - the bride also had a male bridesmaid and he had a shirt and a dickie bow made from the same fabric.
It’s so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life....
CommentAuthorTinsel
We're having a black and white theme and I have told my bridesmaids to get a black dress they like. Short, long, plain, whatever! All they have to do is run the design past me first and Bob's your uncle! So far one bridesmaid has found her dress (from Fever) and it's a cracker! I love it - £85 :o)
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