HI ladies,

We learnt yesterday that none of H2b's family are coming to our wedding. The back story- We were originally getting married in Cyprus on the 26th October, 2015. They said this wasn't doable for them and they'd rather we got married here so they could attend. Fine. We moved the wedding to Monday January 26th, 2015 so his family would be able to come.

However, since then we've decided that doing up our house and having baby number 2 are more important to us than a fancy wedding, so we have decided to save the money so we can put it towards more baby and house stuff. Bearing in mind that we've always said we want to just be married and would go and do it tomorrow if it wouldn't cause a big family rift. So, now we have moved our wedding to Monday 14th July this year. A simple and relaxed registry office ceremony with a BBQ garden party reception at our house afterwards.

Now the problem is H2b's family have said we have 1) Not given them enough notice- It's over 4 months away! 2)They can't get the time off work- They said this before even asking and 3) That we should have it on a weekend to suit them... We're both hurt by this. It's £195 for the ceremony on a Monday and £550 for a fri/sat/sun ceremony alone and quite frankly, we don't want to spend that much when we hope to be pregnant by July. WE want to spend OUR money on our nearly 9 month old son, stuff for when we have a new baby and on doing up our house. H2b turned around and said to them that it's tough, it's our day and we'll bloody well have it when and where we want it.

Are we being complete unreasonable here? They're trying to guilt trip us. H2b was the last of 4 siblings to have a baby and get engaged but is the first to get married, maybe his sisters and brother and jealous? Or maybe H2b and i ARE being unreasonable?! Headache. xx

its really hard for you when family can't come, we get married ona Friday and my H2B brother and sister aren't coming. We gave them 11months notice and they run their own business so in my mind it shouldn't be an issue -but it is to them. I was mad at first but then booking a Friday was a risk and if they want to I am sure they could atleast say 'it will be difficult but i can try'.
I wouldn't change the date, unless it makes you feel unhappy - you could explain the cost difference to H2B's parents, could they help if it is important to them? good luck

Thanks Ladies.

We've always said we don't care who's there, we just want to be married. They've known since day dot that it would be on a weekday. We've only given them the option to come because they kicked up such a stink about not being there in the first place. x

We've told them that we would rather spend the money on a new baby than a wedding. But that's not a good enough reason apparently.

I quite frankly don't care if they are there or not as long as we're married. It's just that we've done everything we can to accommodate them without spending money on a day which neither of us actually want and it's still not good enough.
He said to them, if you want to give us £2000 for either the ceremony/reception or so we can stocking up on baby stuff, then great! But of course that wasn't an option. They don't seem to understand that whats important to H2b and i is expanding our family, NOT spending money to try to please his family. And that's whats annoying.

Stick to your guns! I'd love to do what your doing simple BBQ with a gazebo in the garden but I don't have a garden lol
If they don't come their loss! Xx

Good for you

stuff them. Im sure employers would give atleast the majority of them the day off for a wedding, with 4 months notice. they sound like knobs.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. If they don't give you the time of day to explain the situation of why the date has been changed then I think they are the ones being unreasonable. x

Keep your plans as is! How dare they be so unreasonable if they want a weekend do maybe they need to cough up the extra cost! We're getting married on a Sunday and most of my friends n family live 300 miles away so they'll have to have the Monday off and probably come down on the Sat which means paying for 2 nights. If they can't then it's tough - Saturday's are so much more expensive!! We're sending invites early to daytime guests so that if people can't come we can bump up people from the evening :-)