Hey ladies, I just need to get things off my chest I know this is a good place to do it.
So I have a friend she has been a very good friend for a while. I posted once saying that I had to tell her she couldn't be a bridesmaid (she automatically assumed that she would be one as we always said we would be each other's bridsmaids when were little). Any way, when I got engaged her boyfriend at the time was very ill so wouldn't be able to come to the wedding. So I made arrangements for her to go with another really good friend if ours. Wich was great because them they both won't be on there owne and the will have some one to talk to and get ready with :).
But now she had a new boyfriend! I am very happy for her and he is a lovely person and much better for her. But now I have NO room at all for him to be her date :(. I have had to tell her this and she was very dissapointed and upsett :(. She knew the I had arranged for he to go with out other good friend but obviously that's not the same as going with her boyfriend. He can come to the evening do so it's not all bad.. I just feeling really bad as I have had to let her down twice now. I just feeling like a bit of a really bad friend...
It's amazing how planning a wedding can have so meany ups and downs! And how it really compromises relationships between friends and family! Xx

Sorry if this makes no seance I am dyslexic so find it hard to write things like this down. X

I suspect you're probably more bothered by this than she is :-) As Flossie said, you've done nothing wrong: I'd never assume I was going to be a bridesmaid, even for one of my very best friends, as there are so many factors that come into play and not everyone can be a bridesmaid. As far as the boyfriend goes, we were pretty strict on plus one's; I wouldn't have invited a boyfriend of a frined if they'd only been together 8 months, unless I knew him really well. And in your case, there is another factor, which is space. She will have a friend there, and her boyfriend can come for the evening, so I wouldn't worry. If it's a hotel wedding and they're staying at the venue, you could maybe invite him to the ceremony if you have space and feel really bad, but you really don't need to :-)

I understand where you're coming from KelBel, but it's not necessarily that simple if they're literally up to their maximum numbers. We had a strict limit of 62 for the day, there was no physical way of extending that, so had one of our single friends got a new partner after the save the date's went out 11 months before, there was nothing we could do about it; we didn't want to not invite close friends and family on the off-chance someone else might have a partner by the time of the wedding.

So, while I would certainly accommodate him if possible, from clair's post I got the impression that they simply do not have space, and if they've already told people who are invited the date, then it would be horrendously rude to revoke an invitation from one of those people to make space for him.

you have not let her down at all, i think your friend probably understands and you might just be worrying about nothing and if she doesn't understand then she isn't a very good friend
xx

Thank you girls I do feel better looking at you posts. It is just a simple cace of numbers we have got 60 adults guests and can't extend on that. She has only been with him for a few months so they may not even be together when I get married. She is not on her own as we have our friend that will be keeping her company all day. She prob dose understand, I just felt guilty that's all. Xx

personally , if she is a good friend of yours, she shouldn't even get upset about it, she should totally understand ! its not your fault she got a new boyf and wants him to come.. wouldn't worry about it :)