I thought my family was happy with all my wedding decisions that I had made already.. church, reception and things until today....its just been
"you would have been better if you were getting married in the hotel where your reception is....its a lot less hassle for everyone else"
"why are you getting married in CoE church when you were brought up catholic, and H2B was brought up greek orthodox"
also said I wanted my H2B little brother on the top table, as the rest of his family would be on there (his sis is my bridesmaid) I was going to continue to say I wanted my bro on there too...but no not allowed brothers on there...its not traditional and they are only ushers so shouldn't be there....
I feel like im stupid for getting upset ab out it all...but shouldn't of their concerns...especially wedding venue have been brought up when we were looking at venues....im made to feel im doing it all wrong... or am I being a drama queen?!?
vic x
CommentAuthorMrs T. 2 Be
At the end of the day it is YOUR day. Have things that you and your H2B want.
People will always have their opinions (its only natural!) but as long as it feels right for the pair of you then everything will fall into place.
So, if you want your H2B brother on your top table, do it. Have the ceremony and reception in 30 different places if that's what you and your H2B wants!!!
Don't let this get to you. Enjoy planning YOUR Wedding YOUR way!!
Started Dating: 25th September 2005
Engaged: 26th September 2012
Getting Married: 25th May 2014
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
You will find you will get loads of this with marrying into a Greek family hun (trust me, I'm having it!). You just need to let it all go over your head, and smile and nod, then ignore everything they have just said! This is the problem when two cultures marry, and unfortunately you will just have to try and ignore it all (easier said than done I know, I've been there too, neither family will be happy with your decisions!). Do whatever you want to do, and let them moan all they like, they will soon realise it wont change anything. I have been planning our wedding for a year now and at the beginning it all bothered me sooo much, I even made myself ill over it. Then I realised that I was never going to please everyone, whatever I did someone would be upset about it, so I decided if that was going to be the case then the best thing to do was to do what pleased me and h2b, at least that way we are happy!! xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorvic:)
thanks emma.... im just stupid n worry too much about what everyone else says and thinks... in one breath they sayin do this do that why are you doin that blah blah blah n the next "its your decision" so when I tell them what I want...no its wrong... grr so frustrating!
Need to not worry what everyone else thinks....they would of forgotten about my day after a week or so lol
xx
CommentAuthorvic:)
its not the greek side that are causing me grief....they are quite relaxed about it...and helpful..... making decorations sending me links of things they think I might like.....
I think weddings have just gone to my familys head....mine is last in a row of three....first has already been so being told wel you should do yours like theirs...my brothers is this year and I should do things like his too.... they just want mine to do a big blur of all the others....
its just difficult...,haven't even told them about the little greek touches I want to put in to the weddsing....I don't dare lol
Sometime nodding and smiling in the right places helps lol!!
Started Dating: 25th September 2005
Engaged: 26th September 2012
Getting Married: 25th May 2014
CommentAuthorvic:)
yeh I need to learn how to do that haha
CommentAuthorDebbieR12
One thing i'm learning from this experience is that you can never please everyone...everyone will have an opinion on your day but what really matters is what makes you and H2B happy! i keep being told i'm doing things wrong, i can't do this or that, thats too much hassle to do that, why don't you just do this and i've been in tears loads of times but i've got to the point where I don't care anymore (well i'm trying not to care). Make yourself happy hun, maybe even explain to them how all the negativity is making you feel. We all put so much effort in with our days and when someone tell is they don't like it it really hurts but it's not their day. Hope it gets better for you.xxx
CommentAuthorvic:)
thanks... I kinda snapped the other day.... "oh so n so had a nice dark greeny colour for their bridesmaids...why don't you have something like that" ..mmm well no not my colour scheme AND STOP TRYING to make my wedding theirs! but when its three against one its a bit different... I might try and say something though...im one of those silly people who lets things upset them far to much that what it should! everything was plain sailing with planning until now...n I was like what everyone on about this is a breeze planning a wedding... UMMM WRONG !! lol
xxx
CommentAuthorLynD
as is said.. opinions are like bums - everyone has one..
it's both your day and that's what counts..
CommentAuthorRachaelC80
I've been adamant all thru this Wedding stuff that it's mine and H2B's day NOT anyone else's. I've listened to people's suggestions, thought about their suggestions then did what we want.
Don't let it stress you out this early on!! You still have a year to go and if it's upsetting you now it'll only be harder 6,4,2 months closer to your BIG day.
Smile and thank them for their input, then do what you want anyway!!!!!!
:-)
CommentAuthorAmyK
I know it's hard when you feel like you want to involve family only to get unhelpful comments and opinions in return, but maybe you'll just have to tell them less, then just nod & say "oh that's a good idea, I'll look into that, thanks", or "it's aaaages off yet, so not made m mind up on that yet" and fob people off until its too late to change it. Having said that, some ladies have already done that tactic only to be getting earache that they're not involving family enough... You could also divert their attention by giving them tasks to focus on, but something you don't have a strong opinion on, e.g. End of pew decorations? That way they feel like they're having a say on your wedding
CommentAuthorvic:)
haha that made me laugh lyn :p yes I need to remember to smile n pretend to listen lol...need to practice at that lol
families eh...always know which buttons to press to upset u...
xx
CommentAuthorAmyK
Ahhh, yes, but they all see it as 'helping' you :-P
CommentAuthorvic:)
ooohh yes could try that one... just difficult when its familt isn't it.... :(
just need to think of a loooonngg list of jobs for them to do that im not fussed about haha :P xx
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
My brother is on my top table and he's not even an usher.. Do what you want !
And Lyn that's great haha !! Xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-)
4th July 2015
CommentAuthorLulu1388
edited
we've got best man and moh on our top table, but they are sitting next to us then the parents... not the traditional way round! im jewish my partner isnt, were having a civil ceremony in a hotel, im wearing white, veil but not over my head, nothing traditional what so ever.
at the end of the day, its your day, so you do what you want! doesnt have to be traditional! it will become your tradition, how you have your special day!!
xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorvic:)
thanks girls...I feel better about it now :) its going to be a long twelve months though....they are SO opinionated! :( H2B is working away at moment, in America so I haven't even got him to tell me not to worry and basically what you have all said to me... thanks everyone :D xx
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
That's what we're here for vic :-) *hugs* xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-)
4th July 2015
CommentAuthorBev
Have the day of YOURS & H2B's dream, not anyone else's xxx
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
don't mean to be blunt but why are you trying to please everyone?? just please yourself hun its your and your H2B's day do what you want!
maybe you don't want to be traditional did anyone think of that?
i hope that you get it all sorted but just tell them what you want and you can have it, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. If you want your brother's on the top table you can have them!
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorElizabethP8
I can't think of anything worse than making my wedding look like someone else :( why would your family think you want to have the same as the other two weddings! It should be individual to you and and your H2B. Practice smiling and nodding and stick with what you have already decided on xx
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
Yep the old chestnut of family interfering.... Well u don't have to get married in the hotel because its easier for everyone else....if everyone wants to come they will come regardless and have a good time,u have it where u want U can have your top table however u want, it doesn't have to be traditional Who says u have to have ur service catholic or Greek Orthodox? U have what u want....
Think all these issues stem to what they want but since its not their wedding stuff them and tell them so... If they are that bothered then just tell them that if the wedding venue is inconvenient DON'T COME. If they don't like the choice of service DON'T COME. And if they don't like the set up of the top table then you'll easily SIT THEM OUTSIDE OR WITH THEIR BACK TO YOU so they can't judge... All sorted!
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorVelcro
tell them to get stuffed and do what you want, ive already told my mum that my brothers girlfriend isn't sitting on the top table. shes not part of the bridal party. she was insistitng she had to as she wouldn't know anyone else. she got told nope.
Not that I don't like her or anything, there's just no room and as she lives down south with the bro ive only actually met her once
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorvic:)
Would be easier to plan a wedding with out families poking their noses in lol! It is difficult though, from the start of wedding planing they told me to be careful with my decisions as family's can get offended very easily and hold grudges about the decisions for a long time! Surely the point of a wedding is me and my h2b getting married and everyone there should just be happy to be a part of it!
Just feel like they are putting pressure on me to get what they want...
Vic Xx
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
that is exactly what they are doing hun.
i would just tell that you want a day that reflects you and your h2b and you hope that they can support all your decisions.
sounds awful but if they want to hold a grudge against your decisions let them.
its all about you and H2B so they can like it or lump it hun.
Also try going Bridezilla on they, they will soon shut up. or if in doubt as our Mod Lala says Slap them! haha
i don't envy your situation hun xxx
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
It's your day so you do it how you want to do it, not how everyone else wants it and how easy it will be for the others. Sod them.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorvic:)
I'm hoping that it's all just excitement n that's why they being so bossy n annoying I you get what I mean.... But mine is the last wedding in a line of three so I dno... They will be sick of weddings when it comes to mine...
Could just tell English family (my side) anything we want to do that they not keen on (eg top table n who on it) that it's a Greek tradition to do it our way.... Thy would never know it isn't haha
Just going to leave it all and see if anything else gets said... Makes me a bit worried about telling them out latest plans and ideas though :-(
Might make my new mantra 'nod and smile and don't listen' lol
Xx
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
Vic, tell them to get stuffed. Its your day, you do it how the hell you want. If you want to have monkeys playing trombones, thats your decision and they should respect it. Okay, maybe the monkeys thing IS a bit to far but it proves my point.
Either verbally tell them to mind their own or just nod, smile and then do your own thing.
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary
CommentAuthorvic:)
Yeah.... Going to try... I need to try n be strong n stand my ground... Thanks everyone :-) Xxx
CommentAuthorElizabethP8
Good luck :) don't compromise! xx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
my advice ....STOP telling them stuff, if you dont say you can be critised
lala that's the easiest and best piece of advice!!! THANKS :D xx
CommentAuthorDebbieR12
Haha, yep that is good advice, just realised that that's what i've started doing without realising it! It's the looks when I did tell them stuff, the look of 'nope, that's never gonna work'. I got pretty disheartened and had a word with my OH, he said i've not to pay any attention and that whatever I/we want we'll make it work. x
Slap them! haha
