Just wondered what you ladies did for your engagement celebrations- if you did any?
My dilema is this....
Me and my partner have anounced our engagement and are thinking about having a party howvever, come Novemeber the 10th a large part of my family including my nan and grandad aunts n uncles u name it are all emmigrating over from New Zealand and my mum really wants them to be invitied and us to hold the party off untill them.

This may not seem a massive problem had I not mentioned the fact that I hate all that side of the family and its something that has gone on since I was a teenager not just silly teenage temptums but a massive fall out and beacuse my mum wants them there im torn.....not to mention that it adds on about 12 people and its bad enough that they will have to come to the wedding.If i had my way i wouldnt invite any of them to either the party or the wedding but then i know my mum would be upset. I know this is a long post but id really apreciate your advice if any body has any.... Am i really selfish to have the party before they come?? lol xx

Its hard isnt it, cos its easy for us to say do what you would like as its your party/wedding and why should you invite people you dont like to it! but then you have your Mum's feelings to consider. Ahh I have found that by being on UKB the most stressful thing for others is generally the guest list. Because of the fact that others want to decide who you invite. Does your Mum know all about why you don't like them and why you don't want them there? At the end of it all it is your (and H2b's) party and there's no point in having it if you are not going to be happy with who is coming.. Good Luck xx

Thanks hun, yes my mum does know but as she says "its her mum at the end of the day" so every time they fall out she gives out all the excuses I havent been in contact with them since 2004 and h2b is staying impartial... "its up to you" he says lol not much help tho which is why ive turned to here... I found a list mum had made too what she'd just "jotted down" and she had included all of them I know she really wants them there I just think its bad enough having them at the wedding at november seems like a long time away to wait for a party but then im not sure how much organising it will take anyway... xxx

We got engaged last August 17th and had our party October 23rd. So 2 months we thought it was a good gap to sort things out: place to hold it, food, invites and giving people enough notice about it. Also it fell in October half term for family traveling to get here. If you really dont want them there you have to tell her. I have many family members we don't talk to due to fallings out (my aunties and uncles-not me personally but my parents) so they wont be coming to our wedding as theres not point if you don't speak to them the rest of the year, why pay out and have them in the same room for your celebrations x

Theres always so much to think about a 2 month gap sounds good just then i guess mums point will be well u might as well just wait till november lol. I just dont think i have the heart to upset her or go through the arguments by saying i dont- guess il either organise a quick party or put up with them!

Let us know how it goes :) x

Thanks hun thats a great help was beginning to get so stressed from thinking about it xxx

we had a meal with h2b family to celebrate our engagement a few weeks after we got engaged. i didnt have my family there as i have a big family but it was nice to have just a small amount of people there to celebrate with us :)

hope all goes well for you hun x

We didn't have a party because my h2b mum and dad don't get on, we knew what would happen as h2b mum has abit of a drink problem and blames h2b dad, I do not regret not having a party just means i fab evening do after the wedding xx