I am wondering if it would be acceptable for me or how would i write on my ivites that i want the dress code to be a relaxed one but without jeans? so for example no big hats or fascinators but no jeans either?
we are getting married in a gorgeous seaside restaurant in mid april 2014 and being half french i dont want a typical british wedding. the french are relaxed and chic when they go to weddings and this is what we want!
i despertely dont want hats at my wedding to be honest but don't know how to go about this! especially has H2B auntie has already bought her hat 18 months b4 wedding.... i thought she was joking haha!
basically my bmaids are in long chiffon maxi dreses and will look fairly laid back and BM and ushers are going to be in simple suits with skinny ties....
help, how do i word this! xxxx
Will be so proud to call myself a soldiers wife,
a wife of a true hero
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
edited
How about something like :
Dress Code: Relaxed and Informal?
Straight to the point.
Saying that we attended a really posh wedding (evening do) and everyone had suits on in the day but jeans on at night - ours was a laid back affair and everyone had suits/posh dresses on! Even the nighttime guests!
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary
CommentAuthorNot_so_reluctant_Jin
I personally don't think you can. If you are asking people to attend your wedding you need to take them in whatever form they come in unless you are willing to pay for all their outfits. Chances are on the day you won't even notice what your guests are wearing.
CommentAuthorLegoWife
edited
I agree with MrsWright, I wanted to say "suggested dress code" but if you put the word 'suggested' people might turn up all formal anyway. So just "dress code" is probably the right way to go, people always like to know what the dress code is anyway. So I don't think it's wrong to give a guideline.
I'd describe it as 'smart casual' maybe?
~Wedding made of Lego~
*Married 30/03/13*
CommentAuthorSoldier Wife to be!
I was going to put smart/casual no jeans. its mainly for family and OH family... my friends have all said they cant wait to just pop a pretty maxi dress and flats on!!xxxx
Will be so proud to call myself a soldiers wife,
a wife of a true hero
If it's only family that need to be told, can't you just tell them when you speak to them, or let certain family members know and then it'll get around by word of mouth? xxx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthorSoldier Wife to be!
My family wont be a problem its more his, theyre very traditional... but they will be out of place if they are mega done up in hats?xxxxx
Will be so proud to call myself a soldiers wife,
a wife of a true hero
CommentAuthorJoanna
I'd just tell them in person, then you can explain what you want and don't want. If you asked them to dress smart-casual, would they? xxx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
what about ....
we would like our wedding to be a relaxed event so please wear what you feel comfortable in although we respectfully ask that no jeans are worn
i hope so! i love them to bits but they can be hard work heehee xxxxx
Will be so proud to call myself a soldiers wife,
a wife of a true hero
CommentAuthorJoanna
aww lol i'm sure they'd wear whatever you want them to. Even if they did dress up too much, it won't spoil your day in any way and they'd be the only ones anyway lol xxx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
i hate to be the only one to say this but if i got a wedding invite with a dress code on it - i wouldnt be happy because personally i think its rude to expect people to dress how you want them to, yes its the couples day blah de blah de blah we all know that but thats just me (sorry) xxx
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorSoldier Wife to be!
i just personally find typicall wedding attire for guests so samey samey!xx
Will be so proud to call myself a soldiers wife,
a wife of a true hero
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
we requested that all guests wore black and white to our wedding ... and we didnt have one person who didnt respect our request
Lala that sounds lovely. if i got a request on an invite for dress code i wouldnt mind...xxxxxx
Will be so proud to call myself a soldiers wife,
a wife of a true hero
CommentAuthornic86
I am completely the opposite I wanted to put on my invites that hats and facinators are a must for the ladies! I didn't actually do that but all my close family and friends know how much I love the effort some people go to. I love a good hat! I have never turned up to a wedding without a headpiece. But its all personal choice.
But I think as some of the ladies have said, put something on the invites but be prepared that some people will still glam themselves up. When chatting with friends and family make them aware of what you would love and make it clear that you want no jeans though. x
CommentAuthornic86
.....and I forgot to say, its much easier to get a request of black tie or beach themed or something like that. Suggesting that it is smart casual can be quite difficult for guests. I am attending a wedding this weekend with the same request of smart/casual dress code, its in the registry office and then a pub lunch, then the party is in the evening. I am finding it really difficult to figure out what to wear, even now! As I dont just want to wear what I wear on a regular basis, I want to wear my party dress!
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
Spin this round - we asked for no gifts, just cash and vouchers - we still got 3 picture frames, 2 mug sets and 2 bottles of champagne and a D!sney Cushion!
Traditionalists will do what they want and you cant stop em! lol
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary
CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
Lilmisschuckles I totally agree with you.
Speaking as someone whose mother would not attend a wedding without a hat I can safely say that if my mum or any of her sisters were invited they wouldn't get why you are dictating what they have on their heads. I'm only saying this because my mum spends more time picking the right hat than she does buying shoes. Me on the other hand I would not be seen dead in a big hat and I wouldn't care if I got an invitation telling me what I should and should not wear, but my mum she would be annoyed. Only saying.
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
I think you need to be prepared that not everyone will stick to the dress code hun. If they want to dress up and wear big hats then they will. If anything, with some people, the fact they are told not to do or wear certain things will make them do it, just to spite you. But if you are set on putting a dress code I would go with smart casual xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorTori
I like the wording you used originally 'relaxed and chic' and let them know you would prefer no hats x
CommentAuthorlizzylou
I'd try and spread the news by word of mouth. Get your h2b to tell his parents and then get them to tell the rest of the family. But I wouldn't worry about it too much, if your h2b's side are determined to dress up they will so i'd just let them get on with it. If they end up ignoring your polite suggestion then let them be the ones that are worried about it on the day. Don't you worry about it at all. xx
Lizzy. x
CommentAuthorSoldier Wife to be!
Tori i think i will go with 'relaxed and chic' and was thinking of finding one of those little poem things to explain why we dont want a really uber formal event. :) it just important to me, and to h2b that the french elements of relaxation come through, hence why we are having a restaurant weddin (sounds wierd but its a beautiful venue) as that is v french. there will be many british elements too no worries there !!! but i just dont want people upstaging the bmaids/ushers etc because they are in matchy matchy outfits ( yeugh) ahah xxxxxxxxxxxx
Will be so proud to call myself a soldiers wife,
a wife of a true hero
CommentAuthormillz090
Do people wear jeans to weddings? I went to a wedding 2 weeks ago and her cousin wore a very small dress, i was shocked as she looked horrendous with her legs out and very low cut too and a large girl. I personally would never even wear a dress for a wedding above my knee as a formal affair (especially in church) but people have massively different opinions on formal/informal, etc and what is acceptable or appreciated so i think a line saying 'relaxed and chic' is nice as gives people guidelines xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorAmyP7
I think word of mouth would be best, and I'm sure you will of course get some people who will do as they want anyway x x
CommentAuthorSoldier Wife to be!
your all right girlies, gonna go with relaxed chic i think but just spread the word xxxxxxxxxx
Will be so proud to call myself a soldiers wife,
a wife of a true hero
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
Just be aware that people have very different interpretations of things...
I hate invites with 'smart casual' on them. To me, smart casual would be smart jeans and a nice top with sandals or boots or something, but some of the people I work with say it's lounge suits and shirts with no tie....I'm probably just unclassy lol!
I'd never dream of wearing jeans to a wedding though!
Relaxed chic I'd probably wear a maxi dress, and h2b would probably wear chinos, shoes and a shirt.
I don't think I could face going to a wedding without a fascinator lol
I'd get the word out sooner rather than later though...you don't want people going out and buying a new cocktail dress and head piece in anticipation xx
I think relaxed chic is a lovely way to word it though xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i once went to a wedding where some people turned up in football tops and jeans... the reception was in a pub where the 2 mothers kept moving the food to put their contribution in a more prominent place .. the 2 families split with one upstairs and one down ... then the bride and groom wanted to go to different places (towns) to go clubbing and they did !!!! needless to say the marriage didn't last
Lala thats so funny! poor them doesnt sound like my sort of wedding i do hope mine doesnt turn out like that.... LauraJo87 i think i will go for relaxed chic as maxi dresses and chinos is the sort of look id love my guests to come in and feel comfortable in! also, the food at our venue is AMAYYYYZING as its a gorgeous restaurant and maxi dresses are fab for hiding food babies. This is what all my bridesmaids also said about their dresses hehee ;) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Will be so proud to call myself a soldiers wife,
a wife of a true hero
CommentAuthorElle23
I would not be at all offended for an invite to arrive with a dress code. I was also going to say the way you described it would be great for the invites " Relaxed & Chic" You could then maybe add something as to why you want that which may in turn, encourage the more stubborn guests!
Maybe along the lines of "To reflect Annie's French Heritage"
To be wed on our 10 year anniversary! 23.08.2013
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
Solider wife ... myself and mr lala were the smartest ones at that wedding !!!!!
EDIT MODS THIS IS A NON ADVERTISING FORUM. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO ADVERTISE ON HERE THEN PLEASE CONTACT THE BOSS MAN J ON [email protected] AND HE WILL BE HAPPY TO GO THROUGH THE PROCEDURE. BEFORE POSTING AGAIN PLEASE READ THE FORUM RULES THANKS OMM
CommentAuthorbarbie86
I agree with those who said to spread it by word of mouth; I think dress codes can be interpreted differently by different people (LauraJo's example is a good one).
The other thing I'd add is, are you actually thinking about guest's feelings/comfort; or are you really just thinking about the 'look' of your day? It's just that I personally feel most comfortable at this type of thing if I'm fairly dressed up; I would feel very uncomfortable 'dressing down'. This is because I like to dress up and make an effort: even just going to an Italian chain restaurant for dinner I'll often wear high heels and smart trousers/fancy top/a dress. It doesn't bother me in the slightest what others are wearing. So, I would think about that; as personally, I think that as hosts, it's important we make our guests feel comfortable; and for me, that stems to not dictating what they wear. Which is why I think spreading it by word of mouth is best: you can let people on H2Bs side know that the French way is very relaxed, and say they might feel a little over-done if they go all out in smart suits/dresses/hats etc. They can then make an informed choice ie if they would worry about looking silly/overdone, they might dress down; but if they just love dressing up and don't mind that other's won't be so dressed up, they can still dress up.
CommentAuthorShirleygirly
I'm not a fan of being told what to wear such as no hats/ fascinators, if it was a close friend or family member I'd do it for them but I'd moan about it. At the end of the day you know what you want but like others have said be prepared for those who wear head dress anyway. I wouldn't object so much to a colour scheme but for me the thing that separates wedding guest wear from anything else is a nice hat or fascinator. I've accumulated quite a collection.
Our weddings a free for all, h2b in uniform, dad in kilt so we're welcoming others to wear uniforms, kilts, hats and fascinators. We were hoping to get a replica uniform for h2bs little boy but time and his growth is not on our side.
You could try finding a poem to express the informal feel you want for the day and spread the word subtly about your feelings for head wear. If the auntie has already splashed out on a hat she might be a bit miffed but I'm sure there'll be another wedding.
I can't wait until 29/06/2013
The day I marry the man of my dreams!
CommentAuthorSoldier Wife to be!
I understand your views girls and thank you for your input its all very helpful for me! i dont want people to be so dressed down they dont feel dressed up, im all up for heels and a dress dont get me wrong! i just dont want the whole matchy matchy look thats all. think i will go relaxed and chic. :) Elle23 thank you <3xxxxxx
Will be so proud to call myself a soldiers wife,
a wife of a true hero
CommentAuthormrs clarke to be
relaxed and informal sounds a good way to say it hunni and jeans can look nice if there smart ones but then i think linen would look good on a beach xx
CommentAuthorsuzky123
we gave a dress code as we said dress code formal but I didnt want hats so verbally told people this. Of course my mum thought that didnt include her! typical
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorSoldier Wife to be!
If its black jeans i dont mind at all but i dont think people will turn up in jeans and trainers on a relaxed chic code! haha! susky123 im lucky, my mum hates hats as much as me ;)xxx
Will be so proud to call myself a soldiers wife,
a wife of a true hero
