I have just under 100 days to go to our wedding and I really don't feel like I can go ahead with it at the moment but I know that my OH would go mad if I postponed it again. We had to postpone last time as my ex husband was being unhelpful and wouldn't sign the divorce papers but this time is different, it's not that I don't want to marry him, I adore him and can't imagine my life without him but my Nan who I'm very close to had a stroke about 12 weeks ago and is now in a coma, she hasn't been able to eat or drink for weeks and up to a couple of days ago they were feeding her through a tube into her stomach but since there is no longer any chance that she is going to recover at all the doctors along with my dad and aunts and uncles have made the decision to stop all her nutrients and medication (they say that she's not in any pain) so now it's just time until we lose her and I really don't know if any of the family will be up to my wedding so soon after her death. I'm fairly sure knowing her the way that I do that she would want me to go ahead I just am not sure if I can. Sorry it's been such a long post but I really needed to get it off my chest and there's no one else that I can really talk to about it.

Hun your wedding will be thing that they focus on ... The thing that help them more than you will realise

So sorry to hear that Vicki :( I think your wedding would give everyone and you something to focus on and look forward to. It is 3 months away so in that time you and them may feel a bit better about going ahead with the wedding; I'm not saying when she passes you will all 'get over it' in a couple of months but having something to look forward to may help you focus on something other then grief. I lost my granddad in January this year; his funeral was on valentines day...and I still miss him and grieve occasionally and it has been nearly 6 months. You will miss her during the wedding as I missed my Grandad being absent from our engagement parties but with the joyful atmosphere and business of the day; it might be good for everyone :S

So sorry to hear about your nan Vicki, its going to be tough but you said yourself your nan wouldnt want you to postpone and like the ladies have said it will most likely give the family something to focus on xx

I am going to have a picture of all my grandparents in a locket attached to my bouquet so that they're close to me on the day. I don't want to make too big a deal of it as I don't want to upset my family on what is meant to be a happy day. I hope that you don't think that I'm heartless but if we do go ahead I want the day to be about me, OH and our children becoming a family

Ow sweety im so sorry to hear about your gran, i lost mine a couple weeks ago :(. I would wait till after the fact to make your desicion. Just know shes always going to be there with you and may be sad the idea that you had to postpone due to this! <3

This is sad news to hear, I do hope your nan is as comfortable as possible and that your family are all able to support each other. Personally if it were me I would keep the date as it is 3 months away. Plus as cliché as it sounds your nan probably wouldn't want you to cancel. X

the wedding could be the uplift they all need after your nan and also the uplift you might need hun

I am so sorry to hear about your Nan. I am very close to my Nan too so I understand your pain. My thoughts go out to you and your family.

I agree with the others that you should go ahead with the wedding. It'll give the family something to look forward to and I'm sure your Nan wouldn't want you to delay the wedding any longer.

Thanks for that Lala. My Nan was aware of the wedding before she had her second stroke (she had her first 12 years ago) and had decided that she wasn't well enough to make the trip up for my wedding. We are getting married where we live in Edinburgh as my MIL wouldn't have been able to make it if we got married in my home town of Dudley as she had a stroke 5 years ago. Does anyone know if and where I can get a charity pin for the stroke association as I would love to give something like this s our favours .

Vicki there's a chest heart and stroke charity shop in D'Mains and I'm pretty sure they sell the charity pins at their counter. Though I've only ever walked past never been in.

Also huge hugs on your sad news can only imagine how difficult it must be but have to agree that you might be best waiting to see how you feel.

You know where I am if you need to offload x

Sorry to hear your news hun. We have had a tough couple of months, H2Bs best man passed away and his sister has been diagnosed with breast cancer and is having a mastectomy on monday. We thought seriously about postponing but after a good chat with MIL2B we decided not to. she said that things always happen in life and if we postponed when something bad happened we would never be married. On your day people will be glad of something to celebrate hun, so dont feel bad about getting married. We are mentioning people who have passed or cant be there in our ceremony just to acknowledge them, but we intend to enjoy ourselfs and have our special day regardless.

So I guess im saying speak to your family and make a decision that is right for you xxx

Update
Nan died at 2:15pm this afternoon. Right at the moment as you can imagine she is all that I am thinking about but I am grateful for all of your support and also the fact that I got to see her and say my goodbyes yesterday before we came home. So right now I am just taking one day at a time and will think about what we are going to do about the wedding after her funeral which I haven't got a date for yet but I think we will go ahead and just get the stroke association pins for everyone in her memory

So sorry to read this :( huge hugs to you and your family!

Awww am so so so sorry to read this hun :-( my thoughts are with you and your family xx definitely take one day at a time and we're all here if you need to talk xxx

I am so sorry to hear this Vicki. My thoughts are with you and your family. You know where we all are if you need to talk.

Sending hugs your way

Xxxx

So sorry to hear your sad news. Thinking of you. Xxx

Hugs to you and your family x

Oh hun, I'm so so sorry to hear this. I've just been reading and feel so emotional for you.

I wish I knew what to suggest but I think unless you've been in a similar position, it's difficult to advise what to do for the best! Maybe take each day as it comes at the minute and make a final decision in a week or 2?

Sending you lots of love and best wishes xxxxx

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I definitely think you should go on with your day. You and your family need some happiness in your lives right now x

:/ sad :/ to be perfectly honest i read your firs post then skipped the answers as i cry at everything ad this seemed wrong to cry at when the pain is not mine. the only advice i would give is too ask yourself what would she want? you can have something special inyour day to remember her by and im sure that a wedding and a celebration of life i something welcome after something so painful . spea too a family member and see what they say but i reckon it may be just the celebration people would be hoping for . stay strong and plan as usual but with a bit of her spirit in your heart . wishing you the best. xx

I guess that at the moment my main concern is my H2B as he's back and forward to the hospital twice a day at the moment to see his mom, but on the other hand I know that you're all right unless a miracle happens his mom is never going to be able to be at the wedding whether we postpone or not and he wants to go ahead as planned so I think that it has to be his decision to a certain extent

Hopefully she will have the strength to hang on, my mum got diagnosed with cancer August 2011 booked wedding for four weeks after she deteriorated but hung on and died eagle hours I think she wanted that wedding so much it kept her mind going thinking of the wedding xx