Am I being nasty by not wanting lots of kids at our evening party? We're having close family and friends at the church inc their children but for the evening party I don't want people bringing their children is this really wrong? I want to enjoy our day and not have loads of kiss running around plus some friends are planning on having a good drink and they have kids, I'm not a drinker but plan in having a few the last thing I want is to be babysitter!
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
this si a difficult subject sometimes, especially if the kids are there during the day, but i don't think its bad to want the evening to just the adults but the thing you have to think about is the adults you want there that have kids, how far away from the venue is their home, or how close to the party are the hotel rooms, im thinking of organising with my local preschool ladies if they could come and baby sit in the evening and put all the kids in the same 2 rooms as far away from the noise as possible to make it easy for everyone. else is it going to be that dad takes the kids home while mum stays with you?? etc
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CommentAuthorAna40
I think its each to their own on this topic, so i wouldnt say your being nasty. Id just let people know asap so that they can sort out childcare. X
CommentAuthorMrs Richardson 2B x
I don't think you are being nasty, it's not selfish to wanna enjoy your wedding and have the grown ups be able to have a grown up affair, that being said, we are giving our guests the choice, if they wanna bring them they can, if not even better LOL xxx
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CommentAuthorValentinaK
Not at all.. I don't want any there all day... but have since been put in my place... I realise half my guests won't be able to come as getting babysitters for a whole weekend is not only very expensive, but nearly impossible and is unreasonable to ask. Especially for the guests coming from abroad and or just 100s of miles from where I'm getting married. I had concerns that parents wouldn't enjoy themselves as much if kids were there, but they do make it a family affair. And I remember how I was invited to older cousins weddings and family members weddings when I was little. Babies in church are my issue mostly. However, page boy is H2Bs little brother (24 year age gap!) and he'd have noone to chat to if he was the only kid there.
I don't think it will be as bad as it is in my head... most kids stick together and can have quiet words with family members about keeping under control... plus going to make a kids corner so to speak with things they'll like and stop them being bored, like a DVD playing, some toys and colouring books and also, a cake suitable for kids. Most will get tired and probs fall asleep there too so am told!
It's not ideal but you have to be practical about it or you may piss off a whole host of people and stop important guests coming or their partners because they can't get childcare...
We compromised and are just letting family with kids to bring theirs due to the fact most of the family members that would be able to look after them will also be at the wedding. Parents of friends won't be therefore, my thinking is, they should and could ask the grandparents of their kids to look after them for a weekend or even just overnight.
Also take into account people that cant get childcare hun, might mean less guests, i know a couple of times i've sent h2b on his own because couldn't get a sitter. Also Think you'll find a few guests might already decided not to take them as well, few of my guests have already said their going to try find someone to have kids so they can enjoy the night as a couple Xx
CommentAuthorbarbie86
We're having a pretty much child-free wedding: the only children coming are my 12 year old cousin, and OH's 11 year old cousin (who's a bridesmaid). We've politely told everyone else with children that unfortunately children are not invited.
So, I see no issues with an adult-only wedding. Nor do I think it's wrong to invite children to some parts of the day and not others.
HOWEVER, If you are planning on inviting children to the day, and not to the evening, this may cause issues for their parents, and you may find that either parents don't bring them at all, or, that they choose to take their children home in the evening and then stay home themselves. So, I do think it can make things awkward and tend to think that unless the wedding is very local, it's best either not to invite them at all, or else to invite them to the whole thing.
That's just me though.
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
That is a difficult decision but it is your day at the end of the day so it is up to you but some people may be a bit funny if they can not bring their kids as they would have to get a babysitter :S
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CommentAuthorstarbabe78
Hi no i dont think ur being nasty at all we are having children at the daytime but only close family and children are not invited to the night time except those who were already there for the daytime. its your wedding at the end of the day so you decide if people dont like it then they dont need to come. xx
CommentAuthorFernP61
Yeah that's what I mean we're having close friends families kids at church and in evening but I don't want loads there lol I have 7 in the church x
CommentAuthorValentinaK
I think that was the amount of kids we would have had to invite in the first place anyway...
It's not that big a deal after I thought about it and got shouted at and major points being presented to me.
And we lived happily ever after!
CommentAuthorMrs T. 2 Be
The only children we are having are my cousins and that's for Day & Eve in total. By then my cousins will be 12, 13 and 15.
We ourselves do not have children and our friends that do have children, their children are very young. At our engagement party we invited children but to be honest few actually bought their children with them. This includes the Weddings of our friends that have children and they themselves did not invite children. Also, sometimes its nice ( I am assuming) to go out and not worry about where your children are.
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CommentAuthorHappyBunny
When I get married my daughter will be 5 and my son 20 months and to be honest not looking forward to worrying where they are xx
CommentAuthorvicki
My kids will be 15, 12 and 4 when we get married and we've decided to get our 4 year olds normal babysitter to come to the wedding so that it's her job to worry about where he is and to take him home about 7-8pm when he gets tired and we both feel that it's worth the extra money just to take the pressure off ourselves and our family
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
We're not having kids at all day or evening apart from my own 3 and they will be going around 6pm! If I had kids invited the evening would definitely have been adults only anyway,I don't think the evening reception is a place for kids to be,it's nice for adults to relax and enjoy having a drink x
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CommentAuthor~Beauty&TheBeast2Be~
Now i'm known for being completely against people who don't want children coming to there wedding especially when they have children in the family. But as you have said you are having children in your family there at your ceremony, so thumbs up for that one, but if you're having them there for that, seems odd not having them there for the evening reception. Every kids loves a boogie, and unless you're having a stripper, i don't see why they can't be there. Kids will be kids, entertain themselves and a keep an watchful eye, that's just good parenting and comes naturally. You always watch your kids no matter what they're are doing, you can still have fun without running around after them. I've been to plenty of weddings, where they tire out easily and fall asleep in the corner anyway haha. Childcare is ridiculously expensive also. So i'd suggest reconsidering and having a think about it. I think kids make a wedding. You can't beat a cheeky face having a boogie and there cute little antics. And this is someone who used to be anti-child!
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CommentAuthorAna40
Ill be having children, there will be my h2bs son and my sisters son. ill be giving other parents the choice and letting them know there is a childs area with supervision. i think some may prefer to come without so they can relax, but thats their choice. X
CommentAuthorJadeH41
i dont understand why people r against having children at there wedding, although i dont like kids lol i think they can make a party great fun and get the adults up to dance which gets more adults up to dance etc. theres been loads in the press atm about having childless fights etc and just dont understand it, the times where children sud b seen n not heard are in the past. if u dont want them there then thats up to u and i dont think ur being rude i just dont get it. sorry, dont want to sound harsh its just theres been loads of discussions on this subject n just wanted to put my view on it x
CommentAuthorbarbie86
Jade: with all due respect the OP was asking for advice, not asking people to debate child-free weddings.
Secondly, as for why people wouldn't invite children: we do not have children, and we do not want children. We do not like children, and we are not close to any children. So why we would choose to invite children when we are strictly limited to 60 day guests is beyond me. Further, I don't see why weddings have to involved children: ours is a very adult affair in a chic boutique 5* hotel that is totally not child-friendly, our music and food are aimed at adults, we don't have the space in the evening for children running/sliding around, etc. NONE of our guests with children has even a tiny issue with the fact they aren't invited; in fact, they're all very excited and plan on staying the night and making the most of it.
As far as adult-only flights goes: what's the big deal? I do not get it. Last time I flew (10 hour flight back from the DR) I had to contend with a baby bursting it's nappy and it's excrement being smeared down the aisle, right next to me, nearly ruining my £350 shoes because the parent didn't bother to alert anyone, and also with 3 screaming infants on an overnight flight during which I'd have liked to be able to sleep but couldn't due to the noise. I fail to see how having an adult-only option would affect anyone: people like me who would like to avoid children would be happy, and people with screaming children wouldn't need to feel as defensive because people would have had the option of an adult only flight, so if they chose not to take it, tough.
The simple fact is that not everyone likes children: that's life. And those of us who don't shouldn't be looked down on or judged because of it. I don't go around with a neon sign proclaiming I don't like children; I simply choose to avoid them because generally speaking, they annoy me. How that affects anyone is beyond me.
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
edited
I agree with Barbie...although I am child friendly and I have 3 children,I feel that if u have a restrictive guest limit,we're at 80 without kids and its not in our budget to pay £30per child on top then no I'm not doing it,and I don't think parents can responsibly look after their children if they're drinking at a wedding all night either unless one of them isn't going to drink... (I certainly wouldnt drink at a wedding in the day if my girls had been invited,i'd wait til the evening reception).And I also think its very unfair to just think 'that the kids can just fall asleep in the corner...' Every couple must have a night out once in a while where they have a babysitter and a wedding is the prime example where u would use said babysitter! If its an informal wedding then I can see why kids would be there day and night but if its more formal I think it should be adults only at the evening reception... NOTE I did say evening.... Not all day!
And like Barbie said,most parents are actually pleased to have a little bit of letting down hair time and wouldn't mind in the slightest about arranging a babysitter.
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Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
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CommentAuthorValentinaK
Maybe negotiate with venue for free kids...??
Anyway, it's up to each and every bride and groom to decide, but if deciding not to, they should be aware of the logistical and political pain it will cause them and family members.
There are ways of limiting kids... for example, family only kids.
People here have mentioned the value children add to the day. I'm not a big fan of kids in general, but I see the points made by family members, and to be honest, if they're worrying about the babysitter, the cost, getting back early the next day so going home early, not having the number of drinks they'd really like then I've failed at being an accomodating host too.
Weddings are family affairs, unless you're having a small intimate affair. It's entirely appropriate to invite kids. If you've got the wedding at a hotel, most parents will put their kids to bed early anyway to stop them being overly tired and a handful... so I wouldn't worry about behaviour!
And we lived happily ever after!
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
If u give ur invites out far enough in advance...(we're planning 6/7 months in advance) then I think it's a petty excuse if they can't find a sitter with that much notice,especially if they let u no last minute x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
It's up to you. We are having children as we both love kids, but we're anticipating that some of the parents with young children will leave not far into the evening do, or leave the children with others. We're leaving it up to the guests.
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