Hey this is Claire's H2B (yes i am signed in as her)

My W2B has been getting a bit of hassle from one of my friends wives. She blatantly ignores her (like they were at our house and my W2B offered a drink but she only responded when I asked) and has a pop shot when ever she can I.E I was in town meeting them for lunch and exclaimed to a different friend I couldn't stay long as I had a hair appointment, so after the meal I put in my share of the food and said "I have to go" and as I was abut to leave the wife said
"aww you not getting out to play?"
I said "Actually no but I am getting my hair done"
"but you had it cut on Thursday, with posts on FB saying my hair looks all pretty"
"Yeah i had it cut, but now I am getting it coloured!"
That is a mild example and can but put down to friends having a bit of a giggle, though when ever she is in the vicinity there is constant pop shots or blatant ignorance. In short she is being a *****

Can you invite one half a couple?
There is a chance if she ignores her now there is a high chance that my wife wold be ignored in the line up (and then all kinds of commotion would kick off) or do you put in the invitation Friend + 1 and not her name? as a slap in the face?

Please be as honest and as open as possible I want to iron this problem out and make the day a pleasure for both my Fiancé and I.

hi Pete,

I'm Kate, Yes you can invite one half of a couple, you simply state names on the invite & then state at the bottom somewhere "small print maybe" that "due to numbers we are only able to invite those named on the invitation".

, I will give all advice I can so if you need anymore help I can do this, however others on this site are also very insiteful and trust me you do not need to worry about honest opinions we all give them!

If anyone treated me that way they would most defo not be invited to my wedding ! i would say if you invite her partner make it very clear she is not invited save any awkwardness/embarrassment on the day !

she sounds so nasty and mean! certainly tell her to jog on really! i know how it feels to have anxiety problems, like the others have said it's your w2b big day it's all about her no one else.

her day her way and if this woman is being nasty to her then why should she invite her, like mentioned before only put his name on the invite and if she ask tell her it is to do with numbers

We have the same problem. I dont like get one or even like sitting in the same room as our Bestmans GF. We have said she is not coming now(was only going to the evening). Our venue as Door men( men in funny uniforms where on four weddings last series) and they have been told if she turns up they are to NOT let her in

I did once attempt to bring it up only to be shouted down. I was talking to her on FB chat and said I couldn't go out with them as I had plans and she said "oh is it the wife" and I asked what is the problem with her and my finaceé? I now know that chat style windows arent the best thing to start discussions of this matter on.

Only to be confronted by her husband next day at work saying that if I ever speak to his wife like that again.... I said Whoa I only retaliated cause your wife has a problem with my fianceé to which he stormed off and then shouted me down exclaiming it was a bit of banter (yeah there is a lot of slagging off in my group and I did distance myself a bit at they all went to RGU and I went to Abdn uni and they all think themselves constantly superior and shot me down time and again as I apparently went to Abdn uni due to the reputation and they they have no funding etc etc where as RGU was oh so much better and in higher standing, though the times news paper told a different story, it it got me down as this went on for well over 2 years) Anyway he tried to explain the group dynamics and turned his back to me thus ending the discussion.

Have you spoken to your friend to find out why his wife does this? Does he realise how inappropriate she is being? You have a while before your invitations have to be sent so would it not be worth trying to resolve the situation as once you just invite your friend without his wife it may affect your relationship. If her bad behaviour continues no way would I invite her

if i were in your situation i would seriously consider your future with your "friend" lets call him bob for the sake of him having a name...

if bob's mrs (jill for the sake of a name) were to treat my partner like this then i would have words with bob and jill, however if bob were treating me the way he is treating you then i would seriously reconsider my priorities. is your love for claire more important than your friendship with bob?

maybe it is time to choose between them, i know this is not a nice thing to have to do but by the sounds of the situation bob has already made his choice (the correct one i might add, he chose his love for his wife over his friendship with you) if he had not already made this decision he would be staying out of it but he's not he's "sticking up for his wife".

I personally feel that everyone is better off without people like this!

I have been friends with him ( and 3 other ppl in the group, during uni two others and his Mrs joined) since I came up to Scotland from England in 1996 (after England beat Scotland in the Euro '96 championship) and I wasn't the most liked person in School. For some reason they have been by my side through the good times and bad and it is one of those friendships where you have feuds and arguments but you know they will be there for you.

After the last couple of years it has been keeping up with the Jones':
They were negative when we moved in together
they were negative when we got engaged
They were negative when we sold our house (saying we'd never get the price of valuation and it wouldn't sell quickly, turns out we sold it twice in a week!!!)
They have been negative about the Car (saying they they cant see why I drive a jeep around town [turns out it a 2wd cross over])
they praised our venue before they knew we were getting married there and when we announced it they went on about cars getting broken into there this that and th other

The concept of 'being happy for your friends' seems to be lost on them

He has always been there and it is a good friendship underneath all the above it is a good friendship and we have been friends for years but recently they arent there for me as much as we have started to be with people who respect both me and my fiancée which is the way it should be. I was secretly hoping the subtle message would get through but instead they *****(sounds like witch) I don't spend as much time with them

then they are not worth it hun but thats just my opinion and you can take my advice (and that of others) or you can leave it but i personally would just shut them out, life is stressful enough without people being b*t*hy like that!

I have to admit I would be reluctant to invite either of them. Maybe tell them that due to room restrictions of the venue you can't invite all the people you would like to and that family have to come first. That way they won't take offence at neither of them being invited and you can relax and enjoy your day.

XjoX

We tried that at the engagement party when it is was actually true and got 2 weeks of utter hell from them until I invited his mother, father, sister, sisters bf and sisters boyfriends child which they called their Nephew.......there was no relation there what so ever. Was also born out of wedlock and they loved him like their own but there was no problem with that speak one bad word about him and they were down your throat

yeh i have 2 kids out of wedlock, my mum had 3 kids out of wedlock(3 dif men) with me and Dean we used d*rex and the pill i still got pregnant iv had miscarriages, and 2 gorgeous boys, i didnt want to be pregnant but i wouldnt be without my kids! i agree that is totally uncalled for, my mil2b hates me for getting pregnant but i figure it takes two and both of us were using contraception so how else other than a chastity belt are we supposed to not have kids? we are 23 and 22 so i wont let him get snipped and i wont get tied.

so you still have not answered the question, why are they friends?

you need to ask yourself this question and get a serious answer before you end up having a major blow out with bob and ending on bad terms its gonna happen its just a matter of time in a situation like this babe

How hypocritical :/ they sound awful, I'm sorry but they do, especially the wife! I know they are your friends but if you decided to have children out of wedlock that's for you and your fiancée to decide!

I can't help but agree with the others, either they start treating you and your wife to be with proper respect or that's it... that's no way for people to behave especially towards friends!

Well put mym72! :)
I really does sound like he's changed and you're still friends with him for nostalgias sake and any flashes of the "old" him.
His wife sounds horrendous!! Seems like she has some jealousy/insecurity about your W2B. Does she have any female friends or does she treat all women this way? xx

i would definately not be inviting her.!!
what about people bringin guests? shud i let h2bs cousins bring their two guests to the main wedding and meal when im having to cut family off to cut numbers?
xxx

noooooooo zoe!!!! its ur day tell h2bs cousin 2 come alone or not at all!!!

n claires h2b- lets call u fred lol, i think that as nice as it is that ur so called friend 'bob' has been there 4 u 4 many years does not mean that he has automatic rights to treat u like crap with absolutely no consequences!!!

tell em both to go whistle! enjoy ur day with people who are both happy n care about u both!!!

x x x x

p.s so nice 2 hear from a h2b 4 a change lol!

im slashing them +1's now. if they know someone else at the wedding the dont need a plus 1. xxx

Pete i am going to reply to you out of my personal expereince.
My best mate was with a girl he met at college. I had been very good friends with this guy since i was about 14, but yeah at college he met a girl and they got together. He moved in with her parents and though they had ups and downs she seemed nice enough though i would often hear about their rows he was besotted with her. Any way, we fell pregnant at the same time, were due 5 days apart and thats when the keeping up with the joneses started kicking in from her side.

I couldnt be happy for anything my son achieved because she would try to compete and ruin it (note try, she never succeeded) rather than be a friend and just say wow well done......
Then it escalated, everything i did or had she felt the need to go one better, and then they set their wedding date within a week of me spliting up from my sons dad (he left for another woman) I was actually his best woman for his wedding.
Then the digs got even worse where she started on about how she was married to the father of her children, how her husband worked while i was on benefits etc....
Then he started screwing around behind her back. She knew his faithfulness was in question when she married him she had found texts and nude pics on his phone, but shortly after they were married it continued.
I ended up sounding much like your friends wife, if he couldnt come out it was because she wouldnt let him, (though in this case it was true lol) etc etc..... I didnt lke her, i didnt want to be around her etc.... Why should i put up with her smug marriedness looking down her nose at me when i knew what he was up to?
Well, it all went a bit wrong a couple of years ago now and try and we might i couldnt repair and fix the friendship, though i did try for over 2 years.

I havent really got much in the way of wise words, but i will say some people grow and change ad sadly that doesnt include maturing, there is no helping some people and as hard as it is sometimes you have to step back for the people you love. My freind stepped right back from me because i know i was appearing bitter and nasty and whilst i know i had my reasons, i can understand his position as well, (i just hope he is at least remaining faithful now)

If someone was that rude and awful to me, i would not have them at my wedding, speaking as a bride.

Hi Pete...i think this is a real hard one!

i will give you an example of a similar sitaution for us and tell you what we are doing ok:

my h2b is called Ed and he has a mate called Jim. well me and jim used to be together for 7 months when we all first met. anyway he finished with me and with 2 days was with a girl called Gemma. i think they were together whilst we were anyway...keeping up?

Well Ed and jim are good mates but jim isnt alloweed to speak to me at all. he does when his gf isnt around but that is it. i have said there is no way on earth that i want her anywhere near my day. we didnt even like each other before any of it either. now Ed wants Jim at the wedding but i said he can come to the evening part without her but thats it!

I do think it is rude not to invite her but we dont get on and i wouldnt enjoy myself with her being in the same room at my wedding. i think you need to speak to your mate and explain the situation. he will prob be a bit upset but remember it is your day to sharre with your wife! you will never please everyone!

I know if the situation i would be upset if Ed was invited to their wedding and i wasnt. i wouldnt want him to go but then i wouldnt go even if i was invited as i really dont like her!

speak to your mate and just explain. he might surprise you and totally understand!

i wouldnt invite the person she sounds like a childish little b***h!! how dare she behave like that in YOUR house!! needs a slap in my opinion x

hi pete im struggling to understand why you are still calling them friends but anyway if it was me i wouldnt invite them at all if youre mate asks why tell him, just honestly tell him its because his wife is witch lol or you could try the more reasonable approach of getting him out for a drink and asking whats the problem with his wife ask him to be honest about his feelings about your fiance and see what he says. it sounds like jealousy to me they are happy to be youre friend as long as you dont go trying to get above yourself either way i cant imagine anything worse than having someone at youre wedding who will openly insult youre new wife and end up ruining your day xxx

What's that saying about how people come into your life for a reason, season or lifetime. Perhaps you have to realise that this friendship has run its course. I'm with Beckix on this one would be sorely tempted not to invite either of them

Hey

I wouldn't invite her and I'd seriously consider whether it would be worth being friends with someone who acts like this towards you an you w2b. Sometimes it's just time to move on, even if that friendship was important to you at one time......hope it gets sorted x