OMG - I have the same problem!!!! we got engaged at the end of January, then a couple of weeks ago my bro rang me, while I was at work (therefore couldn't really say much!), to tell me that they've decided to get married - this September.
Isn't it a bad feeling, you want to be happy, and you realise they can't put their lives on hold just because of you but you can't help feeling a little bit like they've pee'd on your bar-B-Q a bit (my H2Bs saying!)
CommentAuthorLoubie
edited
xx
CommentAuthorMrsHoward2B
I know exactly how you feel!! When my bro rang me I was dying to come on here and vent my frustration, but rang my H2B and moaned at him instead!!!
Luckily they're going for a very small registry office wedding so I don't think there will be too much expense for us - I've already decided on an outfit that I already had rather than buying a new one.
I just feel bad as Im really close to my bro (well I was) and I should be really happy for him, but im just not sure about the whole thing - but can't say anything to him for fear of ruining my relationship with him or looking like the jealous little sister!!!
argh i have the same problem. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years (childhood sweethearts) and we finaly decided to get married last year and booked our date aug 2011. two months later my younger (that makes it even worse) brother proposed to his girly or 6months and they have booked their wedding ....... july 2011!! one monthe before mine! Nobody apart from my mother in law sees a problem with this. I feel like my thunder has been totally taken away!!! especailly as me and my fiance have waited for ages and saved and got ourselves through uni etc to be in the position we are now and i cant even have my excitment to myself! plus i have to buy a room because hes geting married in plymouth for £100 a month before i get married when ill need all the money I can get my hands on. *sighs* and breathe........ hehe
sorry girls i had to join you on a little rant. feels better to get it out. hehehe xx
CommentAuthorJoey
wow i got so into typing that, that I spelt nearly every other word wrong. hehe xx
CommentAuthorMrsHoward2B
I hate that, when you read it back and realise you look like you really cant spell!!!
CommentAuthorLoubie
edited
Thats you just venting Joey, oh my god, no wonder your fuming, thats a real sly trick? I guess your Mother in Law sees what you mean as its her son getting married??? She will understand exactly how your feeling, where as my Mum, who im so close to has kinda just said its up to them when they get married.................
xxxx
CommentAuthorMrsHoward2B
I'd say 2 years is about the average.
Luckily my mum and dad have compeltely the same opnion as me, and to make it worse my sister-in-law-2-B has made comments that she expects my dad to pay for it!!!
CommentAuthorLoubie
What a horror???? Why should your dad pay for HIS daughter in laws wedding??? Wow shes cheecky xxx
CommentAuthorMrsHoward2B
Oooh...all this ranting had earned me another heart!!!
CommentAuthorMrsHoward2B
She is a bit cheeky when it comes to money, that why we're all a bit worried - its my brothers house their living in, she never takes money with her when we go out (she expects him to pay) and now this - they've only been together a year and are now rushing to get married in 6 months - it just makes us wonder a bit!
CommentAuthorLoubie
That doesnt sound good???? I too would be a little weary, my younger brother has a fiancee just the same, my Dad wont have her in th house? xxx
CommentAuthorMrsHoward2B
We're not at that stage - yet!!! But I think if she keeps talking abotu money (and all the babies she wants) it may end up that way!
CommentAuthorJoey
haha she sounds like my brothers fiancee. I do feel bad coz i know I should be happy for him but not if its going to have an impact on my wedding, like if they ask for money coz my poor dad has only just gone back to work after being made redundant so money is a sore spot with them anyway. Ive been very patient and nice about the situation but if it impacts on mine the bridezilla joey will come out and it wont be pretty.
Its funny how protective we get over our weddings. i love it!!! xx
CommentAuthorMrs Joyce
ive got exactly the same problem but mine is with my cousin! i announced i was preg june 08 3 months later she announces she is pregnant :@ lol then we got got engaged in oct 08, she got engaged end of nov again :@ now we have booked our wedding for october this year and shes moaning as she feels we are rubbing it in her nose that she isnt getting married, she moaned so much that i was asked by our nana to have a double wedding ( me still paying most of it!!) so that she didnt feel so left out
as you can guess my response was not nice when being asked to share my day no way!
so now shes announced that shes going to be having a small wedding on the sat before our wedding day :@ i could seriously kill her sometimes. she has known for a while now when our wedding was going to be we just hadnt set a date but apparently this is the only sat left in the WHOLE year that she can get married
xx
CommentAuthorLoubie
I thought people would say i was jealous, but thanks guys this really helps, my best friend sees it from my point of view, but she is my best friend;-) xx
CommentAuthorJoey
OMG Sarah your cousin is naughty! I feel your anger! The way i see it girls is, our weddings are going to be a million times better than these thunder stealing people so we should be glad that they have copied us. My H2B has said we can see how my bros wedding goes and make ours better a month later. wohahahaha! plus we are both much better looking! hahaha. kidding xxx
CommentAuthorMrs Joyce
i know my wedding is going to be better :D she isnt having any type of celebration or anything just the wedding part so very small whereas my is complete opposite and i agree all us ladies will be better looking :D hehe
what annoyed me most joey was she keeps asking to lend my shoes or tiara and even my dress as she cant afford to buy some for herself ( all excuses her and her h2b both work just like me and h2b! )
im now branned the selfish one in the family for not helping her out but i dont care im not going to wear my stuff 2nd hand when ive bought them
xx
CommentAuthorJoey
why should you help her out? your getting married too or has everyone forgot about that? why should you lend her your wedding shoes or dress when shes getting married before you??? thats made me sooo mad. is she younger than you? she sounds like a spolit child. A wedding day is supposed to be a celebration of you and your H2Bs love not having to worry about your cousin taking the fun out of it. Just put your foot down and say no! Its your stuff. nobody can make you. xx
CommentAuthorJoey
No loubie, youre not jealous my love. We all just want our day to be special esp when we wait so long for it and people should understand that. xxxx
CommentAuthorMrs Joyce
no shes older by 3 years, i am refusing to lend her anything if she cant afford her wedding my opinion is dont gert married then!! she is a complete spolit brat and i refuse to lend anything id be happy to if i was getting married first even told her this xx
CommentAuthorRelfy
I went through the same thing... I got engaged to my husband about 18 months ago. The day after my sister was sittng there saying that marriage is on a bit of paper. We booked our venue a few months later and she turned in to the devil sister!!!
She basicly said to her fella 'you either marry me this year or its over'. he eventually agreed and she got married 3 months later - September last year. She went over the top on her buget to beat mine and had to borrow money. Tried to book MY venue and stole all my idea's and colours!! I was fumming!!! The funny thing is, she didnt get engagged until the week before!!! ... and paid for her own ring!! too funny!!!Even once she got her own way and got married before me, she still felt the need to put mine down with comments like 'well i had a free bar'.
I got married a few weeks ago now and everyone said that my wedding was SOOOOOOOO much nicer, more romantic and on the whole better and the best thing of all is we didnt have to borrow anything.
Its all down to Jeaslousy honey!!! I gaurentee you that your wedding will be so much better as you are getting married for the right reasons. Its going to be hard ... im not going to lie but in the end yours will be perfect!!
I found a dart board with her picture on helped!!! x x
CommentAuthorLoubie
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Firstly congrats Relf2b on your marriage;-)
Can I just say Relf2B, you sister sounds like a right cow, sorry if I offend, but that just takes the micheal????? xxxx
CommentAuthorLoubie
Sarah, all I can say is what a cow???? The only Saturday left, really???? She obviousloy must REALLY envy you and your partner xxxx
CommentAuthorMrs Joyce
she is so unbelievable it wont be the last sat more than likely she probs tried for the day before our wedding but they didnt have it so she went for that sat!! shes playing the hard done to child thing at the moment and saying because i wont lend her my stuff she cant afford to buy them herself therefore she might not be able to get married!
i honestly couldnt care less if they do or not to be honest if i get the blame from family for not sharing then fine but im not sharing over my dead body lol
xx
CommentAuthorMrs Joyce
actually saying over my dead body if she seen that shed probs try to kill me! lol
CommentAuthorJoey
Awww congrats Relf2b! Im glad everyone thought yours was better! well done hehe. I wanted to say that Loubie but I bottled it hehe but its true Sarah, she does! xxx
CommentAuthorLoubie
I wouldnt either, and if she cant afford her own then tough titty, she should have thought about that before booking a venue, I cant really see your family having much to say??? You have had your date booked, and set in stone, no one would seriously expect you tio lend her your BRAND new items, possibly if you had been married a little while but not if you have never worn them.
I wouldnt share efven with my sister, never mind my cousin xxx
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
I thought marriage was about love, not a competition. Must live in a dream world...
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthorLoubie
Im not disputing that Dove, and your opinion is welcomed, I asked for points of view and I got them, im just pleased to know that im not alone in feeling a little upset!!!
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
I was meaning people like Sarahs cousin, not you! You lot within your rights to be miffed!
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthorLoubie
Oh sorry, totally miss read that then lol.
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
It was slightly open to misinterpretation Loubie- should have been a bit clearer.
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthorLoubie
Well I have just told h2b that work may not let me have the time off with it being so close to Xmas, and he has ever so nicely agreed to tell MIL2B lol xxx Dove, think thats the only problem with forums, you dont know how to take certain things;-)
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
Hope your MIL2B takes it well Loubie! We checked that all the important people would be able to make our date before booking it- if tyou don't you should be prepared for people not being able to come!
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthorLoubie
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we just want people there to share our day, yes the venue is important but not at such a cost, if that makes sense xxx
CommentAuthorTinsel
I have to say I know how you feel. My H2B proposed to me (total surprise) at the start of December - then, what a surprise, his brother proposes to his grilfriend on Xmas day having told my H2B not two weeks earlier that he wasn't planning on getting engaged yet. Apparently, however, he told everyone after the proposal that he had been planning it for eight months - what's to plan? Lol! Now they are getting married before us, so I have moved my wedding back so that they can have the year before being the centre of attention and then when it is our turn, our day wont be over-shadowed by them (although I keep getting asked, "haven't you booked this yet? We have, we've got x, y and z done, and for this price"). It is sad, and although I don't want it to be a competition, that's how it is. We will just have the day WE want and stuff them! :o)
07.04.12 - the best day of my life!
Living happily ever after as Mrs Nottage x
CommentAuthorohfiddles
i have a bit of a similar thing happening. i have been engaged for 4 years to my h2b my sister and hers have been engaged for 2 years. i have just stated properly planning my wedding and now my sister is doing hers. when i said im gonna do it in 2012 she said she is gonna do it next year!!! then she came round the other day and stole loads of my ideas and because she is getting married before me now everyone will think i have copied her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sounds a bit silly but i am sure she stole my baby thunder too. with my first child when i first announced i was expecting, she came upto me and actually said she will have to get pregnant now just so im not the centre of attention for too long. some people cant stand others being in the limelight xxxx
CommentAuthorlaura2481
I feel bad as my H2be proposed on xmas eve and we are arranging our wedding for May next year, and his cousin proposed to his girlfriend in the summer but they were already planning it for september 2011 so now I worry it may look like we were stealing their thunder but we're not- it's just the 29th of May is special to us as it is our 'anniversary' of getting together and next year will be the last year it lands on a weekend for aaages. So i feel bad- but it wasn't one-up-manship on our part. (Besides, they are having a much more expensive, lavish affair than ours so no doubt theirs will eclipse ours :) )
CommentAuthorLoubie
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Tinsel, thats so like ourselves, to be honest I just wanted to make sure I wasnt being a complete witch, but now you guys all understand, i feel a lot better;-) I hae to say I admire you for moving your wedding back, but totally understand why xxxx
CommentAuthorLoubie
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Why are people so sad????
CommentAuthorcaz
we had this aswell we booked and put our deposit down on our wedding in jan for this september altho had been planning it for ages.h2b's sister got engaged in jan this year then booked her wedding in feb for this june! 3months befor our wedding. now no one in his family talks about our wedding. if i mention it i either get ignored or replied with something to do with his sisters wedding... :( she is having the small wedding R- office and parents garden, that his family prefer where as i am getting married in a hotel and having what i thought was the normal dream day, but made to feel extravagant!!
CommentAuthorLoubie
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The cheek!!!!
CommentAuthorLoubie
Aw Caz, thats not nice, have the day YOU and you H2B want, its your day, no-one elses xxx
CommentAuthormrs pinkalice
me and edd got engaged in november, then his brother proposed to his gf on christmas day, they're not planning their wedding yet tho so there's no problem but it did steal our thunder a bit lol. i used to work in retail and was never allowed time off in december xx
CommentAuthorLoubie
Thanks Pink alice, it ounds petty but im hoping I cant????
CommentAuthormrs pinkalice
yeah i know what you mean! i don't blame you for feeling like that, i would be exactly the same x
CommentAuthorlayla24
Hey all, im in the same situation me and h2b decided to get married and told people than a month later h2b sister and bloke announced they were getting married and booked it for a month before me and my bloke was ment to be getting married but hadnt booked anything so had to change our date to 2012 instead of 2011 because h2b's family live miles away from us and would have to take time off work.
I'm glad im not the only one who feels this way i was well gutted and to top it off she wants me to be maid of honor so i have to be all happy about the wedding when all i really feel like doing is screaming.
Anyway thats my rant over and done with and i can now breath lol xx
