Omg I'm sorry to rant to you all but I have to get rid of my anger!
So.. On discussing who to invite to the wedding we came across who would be at the 'top table'.. my H2B seems to think its okay to have his best mans 'girlfriend' (who i've met once btw!) at the top table !! What ?! He says this is so they (best man & gf) are not on their own. There are loads of people going to the wedding who know them, including the best mans parents.. so why would the girlfriend be lonely? He doesn't know anything about weddings or who sits where / anything about 'the bridal party' and how it should only be family and bridesmaids etc. If the girlfriend was to sit at the top table (which WONT be happening btw lol) then that would mean my four bridesmaids are entitled to have their boyfriends there too.. ?? This is making me sooo angry as he just DOESN'T understand!
Please agree / help me !! Thanks fellow brides :) !
CommentAuthorclare0481
Absolutely, no partners should sit at the top table. There will be 12 on mine, me, h2b, my son, moh, 2 best men, 2 bridesmaids and both sets of parents. C x
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
We aren't going to have best man or bridesmaids at the top table for exactly this reason! We are only going to have us and parents and put them all on their own table. Seems the least stressful way to do things! lol xx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorkrissy905
I'm doing the same linzi-jo it will be me and h2b our 3 children and his parents plus my sister and brother in law as my stand in parents all on a round table the best man (when h2b decides which brother he is asking) will be sat with is gf and my maid of honour will be sat with her +1 both on separate tables as his mums doesn't want mixed family tables.
CommentAuthorsamitrev2B
im having bestman n adult bridesmaid BUT partners are on other tables, they can like or lump lol esp as i dnt know steves best mans gf n his top ushers gf so they will put on a back table with other friends as front tables are family xxxx
Engaged: Christmas Eve 2009
Hen Party Saturday 28th April 2012
Wedding: Saturday 16th June 2012
and can't wait to be Mrs Trevillion :)
Hmm, sounds like the easiest way! The thing is.. there's absolutely no problem with the top table APART from h2b wanting the best mans gf there too! This only came about last night and i know in my heart this will DEFO not happen.. but it still frustrates me that he THINKS thats ok !! Thanks guys xx
CommentAuthorCaitlinD
Yes samitrev thats EXACTLY what i thought! I dont really know the best mans gf so why would i have her at the top table over some of my closest family members ?!
CommentAuthorkrissy905
my h2b didn't even know what a top table was when i mentioned it lol just stick to your guns and tell him its not something to be done so she can sit with best mans parents they will only be apart for the meal and speeches anyway as your up and mingle before and after that.x
CommentAuthorsamitrev2B
lol my h2b has no input with it as he didnt want to do it so what i say goes lol, i do have nick name bridezilla at the mo lmao but no skin of my nose if hey dnt want to comes saves me about £30 pp lol xxxxx just do table plan n leave it at that family always comes first close friends then the others hehe xxxx
Engaged: Christmas Eve 2009
Hen Party Saturday 28th April 2012
Wedding: Saturday 16th June 2012
and can't wait to be Mrs Trevillion :)
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
My other half wanted his best mans girlfriend at our table and I said no We ended up comprimising (i won lol) and having our 3 children on the top table and his best man and gf with his brother elsewhere lol
Our top table consits of..... fil mil eldest daughter (chief bm) h2b our son (paigeboy) me youngest daughter (junior bm) mum dad
The other 2 bridesmaids, flowergirl, paigeboy, bestman and ushers will be on different tables throughout the guests
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthorCaitlinD
See.. i knew you would all agree with me / talk sense! Lol. I just WISH my h2b would understand this! He doesnt want anything to do with the planning etc so it annoys me that he randomly just says 'yeah so&so will be at the top table!'.. get lost lol! He doesnt care about anything else so why would he care about this ?!
CommentAuthorGabyS
Never heard of the best mans GF being on the top table... thats not right x
CommentAuthorJoanna
My h2b is best man at a wedding this summer and ive been put on the top table with them. However that's because they're not having family on top table so it's just bridesmaids, best man etc. I think you can just do whatever you want for the top table. It would be a bit weird if you've only met her once! Does she not know anybody else there? Xx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
absolutely not! one of my h2bs best men will be married by then to my frend (not a bm) and shell not b at ours...
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorCaitlinD
Yes Joanna - she will know the best mans mum (her future mother in law i guess!) .. i dont see any reason she cannot sit with her at another table with other members of my h2b's family! It's just not the 'thing' you do.. i wouldn't even say i knew her atal. Afterall its my day and by having her at the top table will make it less special i think. My h2b just wants to do the 'right' thing by making sure she isnt unhappy, call me selfish to be honest i dont care who is/isnt happy with their seat its my wedding and if they dont like it then dont come !!
CommentAuthorJoanna
I don't see why she can't sit with the best man's mum then. Unless they don't get along? I wouldn't mind our best man's wife being there as we're all quite close, but I really wouldn't want someone on my top table who I barely knew! It's your day so you need to do whatever you want xx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthorCupCake
Caitlin I feel your pain, men don't really take an interest then come up with random rubbish like this! lol We sat at a table on our own at our wedding and had 2 tables headed by our parents, it was lovely to have our first meal as husband and wife on our own, and it saved alot of arguments when we were planning too! If you do want a traditional top table arrangement why don't you visit a few websites and print off the top table and that was he can see who SHOULD be on there for himself, as like you say he really doesn't have a clue! In the grand scale of the day the meal is a short period of time, and I'm sure the best man and his OH can manage to be parted for it? they can spend the whole day together after that .... don't let him wind you up hun it's not worth it x
Became Mrs Lyons 30th July 2011 x
CommentAuthorsarsibob1
Seen two sides of this
At our wedding it was just our parents and us on the top table. The bridesmaids and ushers were sitting with their partners on the second table and it worked well
I was chief bridesmaid for a friend and my husband was invited. I only knew the bride, groom and best man and I was sat on the end of the table next to the bride's mother. My husband was at the back on a table. He only knew me, the bride and groom. In that instance I would have preferred to have not been on the top table and sat with my husband.
I wouldn't, however, expect my husband to be on the top table.
CommentAuthorNatashaP86
i am currently thinking of only having my parents and my in laws on my top table. I am thinking of putting all the bm's and partners on there own tables. I am not even having my kids at the top table because they have asked to sit with friends and as they are all teens i think they will be ok lol.
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
I was at a wedding with H2B once and he was the best man, and I didnt sit with him on the top table. I sat with their friends, and although it felt uncomfortable because I didnt know them, its the norm isnt it?
At my wedding there wont be a top table, its very informal, we are just having 3 round tables of 8, and on the table where we will be sitting will be our kids and their partners, and this should be quite comfortable for everyone I hope.
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorMrsLeanneStark
You are completely right, no partners of the wedding party on the top table. only parents, best man and bridesmaids sit with the two of you. My H2B was best man at his friends wedding and i was sat with a load of people i didnt know. It was their day and i had no right to say where i wanted to sit. it worked out i got on with them really well, and i had a nice meal chatting away, getting to know new people. PLUS... its only for the meal, after that people tend to mingle and gather in their own groups anyway. Put your foot down honey, i would. xx
Got engaged 20th August 2008
Married the Love of my life 28th April 2012
Honeymooned in the Cape Verde Islands 2nd May 2012
I Am now Mrs Stark and i have never been happier :)
CommentAuthorkirstyless
Craigs best mans gf is on the top table, but only cos shes the chief bridesmaid lol, otherwise she would be on a completely different table. My only other bridesmaid is sat a couple of tables back from the top table as its with the only people that she knows, plus shes hardly made any effort with the wedding at all...doubt she'll like it but I dont really care anymore to be honest :)
I'd stick to your guns, especially if he doesn't know what he's talking about. x
CommentAuthorclbronze
No way should a stranger be at your top table!!! Either they sit separately or he should sit on another table with her. Think she'd feel really uncomfortable being at the top table- know I would. If there are a few people on a table that don't know each other, why not provide ice breakers like trivia boxes so every one can get to know each other and have a good chat? Nicer for her if she's not just stuck to her BF all day and can make other friends!
Met Paul on 01.06.08
Marrying him on 01.06.12
CommentAuthorMrs Davro
I don't think she should be on the top table either. So glad we are just having the one table so it was a case of putting my mum (if she comes) no where near my sil2b and the best woman. And my youngest brother a little bit away from my mil and fil.
CommentAuthorsrk37
We are having no partners on top table, except for one usher who is married, and his wife is also doing a reading at the ceremony so she will be on top table with us.
CommentAuthorHappilymarried Mrs G
Nope no partners on top table, i had this discussion with h2b as well. Luckily he saw things my way. We have 10 on our top table, they are my son, best man, mil2b, fil2b, h2b, me, my dad, my aunty, my bridemaster and my daughter.
CommentAuthorCaitlinD
Thanks everyone, i feel better now you all agree with me! Lol, i thought i was maybe being a bridezilla for a moment! The problem is kinda because my h2b doesnt see his dad and wont be at the wedding, so technically there is a 'spare seat' at the top table which he thinks his best mans gf should sit there - I suggested his grandad took the seat where his dad would have traditionaly sat. He hasnt mentioned it for a couple of days now and i do know deep down that it wont happen. Still winds me up never the less! Thanks guys! :) xxxx
